In your position, I would be very uncomfortable with your boyfriends friendship with these people. You say that you feel that they resent you for 'replacing' their daughter. Now, if this is just your feeling, and you are assuming, then I think that you need to forget it. Most reasonable people would not feel that way. However, if you have some concrete reason for feeling that they resent you, I think that you need to make it very clear to your boyfriend that that isn't acceptable. Their daughter is dead! They can't expect him never to date again, or to behave as if their daughter never had died. I would say that you should find out how they feel about you joining them: in your position, I would be livid if they excluded me, as I am now in a relationship with their godson. Their daughter doesn't come into it. In fact, I would consider that a dealbreaker if they wanted to exclude me and my boyfriend went along with it. But, it doesn't sound as if that's what's going on here. My advice is to find out where they're coming from. If they truly resent you, I would be telling your boyfriend that it was them or you.