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Author Topic: Question about jumping in a thread  (Read 12761 times)

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AustenFan

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Question about jumping in a thread
« on: February 01, 2012, 02:27:10 PM »
Is the culture here that it's OK to read a 1st post and then jump in with a comment, or is it proper to read all replies first?

I tend to read all comments prior to replying, because I figure someone has already said what I would like to say (and probably much more eloquently) and I don't jump into ongoing conversations in person, so I wouldn't do it here. I notice that some threads have an update from the OP mid thread but if the title isn't changed to reflect the update some posters are replying based on old information, so I'm wondering what the board standard on this is.


Outdoor Girl

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Re: Question about jumping in a thread
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2012, 02:40:21 PM »
I think most people at least skim all the replies before posting, in case someone has already expressed the same opinion, as you indicated.  In which case, they might chime in with a POD (meaning: I agree).

The exception would be if the OP makes you think of a story that relates and you jump in with that.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
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Hillia

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Re: Question about jumping in a thread
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2012, 02:48:56 PM »
The other reason to read all the replies is so that, if someone has already suggested using left handed widgets, and the OP has explained why left handed widgets won't work in this situation, you can avoid going down that path again.

rose red

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Re: Question about jumping in a thread
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2012, 04:35:05 PM »
I don't know what the standard is but for myself, I like to read all the posts or at least skim.  If the thread is very long and it's not possible to read all of it, I look for the OP's name and read their updates.  I don't mind reading multiple posts of the same suggestion, but it annoys me when someone obviously haven't read the OP's updates.

Ceallach

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Re: Question about jumping in a thread
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2012, 04:40:00 PM »
I believe in the past it has generally been agreed that it's polite to read the responses where feasible.  It's important to remember that this isn't a "question and answer" thread, it's a discussion forum.  So IMHO we should be adding to the overall dialogue of the topic.   In some cases reading all of the responses isn't realistic - in very long threads for example - but skimming through and reading at least the most recent posts is reasonable.

I personally dislike it when a poster says "I haven't read the other replies, but what about X?" when "X" is a major theme that has been discussed repeatedly throughout the thread.   Even if they don't have time to read all of the posts, a quick skim would have indicated the direction of the conversation.   It is polite to at least make an effort to understand what the conversation is about before jumping in.
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


Yvaine

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Re: Question about jumping in a thread
« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2012, 04:46:58 PM »
To me the biggest problem isn't when people don't read the other posts, but when people seem to read the other posts but not the OP, and end up flying off the handle based on some random hypothetical from another poster:

OP: My MIL spat in my face! Is that rude?

Other Poster: Are you sure you didn't do anything to deserve it? Do you expect free babysitting and not say thank you, or something?

Another Poster: Maybe she has a medical condition that makes her spit constantly!

Didn't Read the OP Poster: OP, I can't believe you are so ungrateful to your MIL who gives you free babysitting and is coping with a horrible spitting disease besides!

Ceallach

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Re: Question about jumping in a thread
« Reply #6 on: February 01, 2012, 05:01:19 PM »
To me the biggest problem isn't when people don't read the other posts, but when people seem to read the other posts but not the OP, and end up flying off the handle based on some random hypothetical from another poster:

OP: My MIL spat in my face! Is that rude?

Other Poster: Are you sure you didn't do anything to deserve it? Do you expect free babysitting and not say thank you, or something?

Another Poster: Maybe she has a medical condition that makes her spit constantly!

Didn't Read the OP Poster: OP, I can't believe you are so ungrateful to your MIL who gives you free babysitting and is coping with a horrible spitting disease besides!

Oh yes, that is also a problem.    It's fine of course to discuss hypothetical scenarios if they're appropriate to the conversation  (e.g. "IF you'd done this then X would make sense, but seeing you haven't then....") but it gets absurd when somebody isn't paying attention and starts treating the hypothetical data as fact.   

I think that not paying attention to the basic facts of the conversation and stating strong opinions based on inaccurate information is rude. We all make errors or miss things sometimes.  But we should at least make an effort to understand the discussion.

Just imagine how that would play out in a real life conversation, with a few ladies chatting over coffee:

Mary:     "My sister keeps making snarky comments about my job, it's a little upsetting."
Sally:     "Oh that's such a shame. This isn't the sister who lost her job last year is it?"
Mary:     "No that's my other sister. I'm not sure why <sister> is upset with me."
Annie:   "I can't believe that you would rub your job in your sister's face when she lost hers last year! That's so mean, and I can completely understand where she's coming from.  I lost my job once and it was very upsetting. Clearly your sister is struggling with being out of work at the moment".

Mary & Sally look at Annie like she's crazy.... Clearly she's not paying attention to what they're saying and is judging them based on random and inaccurate information.  I could see Annie in this scenario definitely being frozen out of the circle of friends based on that behaviour. 
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


AustenFan

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Re: Question about jumping in a thread
« Reply #7 on: February 01, 2012, 05:41:45 PM »
Thank you for the info & examples. The horrible spitting disease made me laugh out loud, which is unfortunate since I had a mouth full of coffee.

Yvaine

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Re: Question about jumping in a thread
« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2012, 07:04:29 PM »
Thank you for the info & examples. The horrible spitting disease made me laugh out loud, which is unfortunate since I had a mouth full of coffee.

You have a coffee-snorting disease now.  >:D

rashea

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Re: Question about jumping in a thread
« Reply #9 on: February 02, 2012, 08:10:25 AM »
I think some threads it's fine not to read all the way through. These are threads where people are just adding stories like the "special snowflakes" thread. But in other threads, it really does make a difference if someone hasn't read through. Especially if the OP has added more information in a later post, and so the new poster takes the whole thing off on a tangent again.

We can all help that by keeping the "random" posts to a manageable number (random in this case means things like the food tangents).
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

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Luci

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Re: Question about jumping in a thread
« Reply #10 on: February 02, 2012, 10:03:03 AM »
I think it is disrespectful to not read or at least skim everything, even the threads for anecdotes. How can one expect others to read your reply if you haven't seen theirs? I enjoy the stories about random situations - example Special Snowflakes - so what's the point if they aren't for fun for everyone?

Along with Ceallach, "I haven't read the whole thread, but........." is a major peeve with me. Posters just lose credibility if they respond with an issue that has been mentioned and found irrelevant previously. (That, and "I don't know, but....."
OK. So why bother if you don't know?)

The other reason to read all the replies is so that, if someone has already suggested using left handed widgets, and the OP has explained why left handed widgets won't work in this situation, you can avoid going down that path again.
is a perfect example.

rashea

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Re: Question about jumping in a thread
« Reply #11 on: February 02, 2012, 10:22:52 AM »
I think it is disrespectful to not read or at least skim everything, even the threads for anecdotes. How can one expect others to read your reply if you haven't seen theirs? I enjoy the stories about random situations - example Special Snowflakes - so what's the point if they aren't for fun for everyone?


I guess part of why this doesn't bother me so much is that no one would know. On top of that, some of those threads are monstrous. I wouldn't want someone to think they had to read 200 pages before they could post about something. On the other hand, I think at least skimming a few pages is never a bad idea.
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

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DuBois

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Re: Question about jumping in a thread
« Reply #12 on: February 02, 2012, 11:54:50 AM »
I think it is disrespectful to not read or at least skim everything, even the threads for anecdotes. How can one expect others to read your reply if you haven't seen theirs? I enjoy the stories about random situations - example Special Snowflakes - so what's the point if they aren't for fun for everyone?


I guess part of why this doesn't bother me so much is that no one would know. On top of that, some of those threads are monstrous. I wouldn't want someone to think they had to read 200 pages before they could post about something. On the other hand, I think at least skimming a few pages is never a bad idea.

Yeah, I think it's entirely unreasonable to expect people to read the bumper threads in Coffee Break before posting. They are entirely different from the etiquette based advice seeking ones.

gramma dishes

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Re: Question about jumping in a thread
« Reply #13 on: February 02, 2012, 12:04:22 PM »
Okay, I'm going to confess here to a little Special Snowflakiness of my own.

Sometimes I'll read a post and comment on it quickly (first page at least) and then four pages later someone says almost word for word what I said on page one and suddenly everyone jumps in with "Oh!  That's a great idea!" 

It doesn't really matter at all.  I know that.  But yet ...   :-\

So, knowing how "unheard" that makes me feel,  I try hard to read all the posts in an attempt to avoid doing that to someone else. 

Betelnut

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Re: Question about jumping in a thread
« Reply #14 on: February 02, 2012, 12:06:04 PM »
Okay, I'm going to confess here to a little Special Snowflakiness of my own.

Sometimes I'll read a post and comment on it quickly (first page at least) and then four pages later someone says almost word for word what I said on page one and suddenly everyone jumps in with "Oh!  That's a great idea!" 

It doesn't really matter at all.  I know that.  But yet ...   :-\

So, knowing how "unheard" that makes me feel,  I try hard to read all the posts in an attempt to avoid doing that to someone else.

That has happened to me too, several times.  Sigh.
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