Is this OK or not? - s/o of open bars

[StarFaerie]

When I attend a function with an open bar usually the selection is generic beer (on tap), wine and soft drinks. I prefer premium beer as generic beer has all the calories but none of the taste. Yes, I'm a raging beer snob. So I will tend to just drink soft drinks. But I have wondered, would it be OK to ask the barperson whether I could buy the premium beers that they usually have in the fridges? Or would it be OK to go to the public bar that is usually in the same building and buy one there? I would of course have them put it in a glass so that no-one would know. Or would this be an insult to my host's hosting?

[jedikaiti]

I'm a raging beer snob too, and in that case, I'll opt for the wine.

[Only me]

Hi

LOL I'm a snob to beer and most wines (can't stand the taste), so yeah I'd opt'd for the Soft drinks.

Onlyme

[jpcher]

I don't attend a lot of formal functions, but I've been to a few where I've asked for a brand name liquor (not knowing that it was only shelf-brands being served) and was told that the brand name is available, but it would be at cost.

I don't see anything rude with asking for your favorite beer. Just be prepared to pay for it, if it's available.

I would not go to the outside bar and bring your drink into the party. That, in my opinion, is an insult to the host/ess. That says that they didn't do a good enough job of catering to their guests.

I agree with the PPers . . . if what you want isn't available within the confines of the banquet room, then go for your second choice.

[Sharnita]

I think you take what is offered for free.  If you buy the "good" beer other people will see you drinking it and think it is part of the open bar.  They might become difficult when they are told it is not.  It seems like a likely way to creat problems for the hosts/organizers.

[Ceallach]

I think you take what is offered for free.  If you buy the "good" beer other people will see you drinking it and think it is part of the open bar.  They might become difficult when they are told it is not.  It seems like a likely way to creat problems for the hosts/organizers.

I agree.

It can come across as a rejection of the host's hospitality, and could cause confusion.  Plus it puts the barkeep potentially in an awkward position of not knowing whether they should serve it to you or not.   My answer would be different if the host had made inadequate provisions, but in this circumstance it's really just a matter of drinking one of the other options on offer.  They don't have the beer you like, you drink wine or soft drink instead.

[Surianne]

I agree with Sharnita and the others who said that unfortunately, it might just cause problems or put the bartender in an awkward spot. 

I do sympathize -- I'm a beer snob too, at least in what I buy for myself.  Love microbreweries and local stuff, imports like Guinness, and tastes that a lot of people don't (super bitter IPAs) so my favourites are rarely offered at open bars or parties. 

I don't mind cheap beer, fortunately, so I will drink that in a situation like this, but it does feel like the pricier beer is taunting me from the fridges: "I'm in here, Suri, don't you want me?  I'm so dark and smooth and delicious...don't you love me anymore?  I thought we were friends?"

[kareng57]

I have to agree with PPs.  If you hate the generic beer that much - then go for wine or other beverages.

Premium-beers often have a different appearance (such as darker ales), so even if you were to get it in a plain glass, after having wandered down to the venue's "regular" bar -  other guests might notice the difference and - as already mentioned - assume that they could get the same premium beer at the event-bar.  Overall, unless the host's provisions are woefully inadequate, then guests should not go off-premises - even within the same building - to get something better.  You'd probably agree that even if a guest hated the chicken dinner, he/she would be pretty rude to wander down to the hotel restaurant, order a take-out steak dinner, and bring it back to the reception hall.  That's a fairly similar situation.

Unless we're talking about very upper-crust circles - at most open-bar events the selection is "standard" rather than "premium", even when liquour is offered as well as wine/beer.  Just as is the fact that most guests probably expect the food to be edible rather than gourmet.

[Lynnv]

I feel for you-I am a complete beer geek too.  But I agree with everyone-either drink the beer on offer, choose one of the other beverages that are being offered, or have a glass of water.  It is tough when you can hear your preferred beer taunting you from the other room-but I don't think it is okay to go and get something else.

[StarFaerie]

I thought that was the answer. I'll keep doing as I have been then secure in the knowledge that I haven't been missing out.

Thank you everyone.

[katycoo]

In Australia, a part-tab part-cash bar is common.  In which case you can certainly buy your own 'better' beer as the hosts expect you to.  But it would be exceedingly rude to bring a beer in from another area if the function was not set up for it.

[WhiteTigerCub]

I think you take what is offered for free.  If you buy the "good" beer other people will see you drinking it and think it is part of the open bar.  They might become difficult when they are told it is not.  It seems like a likely way to creat problems for the hosts/organizers.

So OP should not get her prefered beer if it made available by the bar because it might cause the other guests to be difficult?

Often when someone is hosting a bar they can make the choice available that people can pay for their beverage of choice if it not provided for by the host themselves. It's an option and doesn't necessarily reflect poorly on the HC if the option is available and the guest chooses to partake of it.

[amylouky]

I think you stick with what is offered, unfortunately.

I look at it this way.. if you attended a reception at a restaurant, and the food served was roast beef.. would you ask the server if you could order the filet mignon instead?

[WhiteTigerCub]

I think you stick with what is offered, unfortunately.

I look at it this way.. if you attended a reception at a restaurant, and the food served was roast beef.. would you ask the server if you could order the filet mignon instead?

Agreed with the food situation. Hosted bars are different though. It is an often an option the HC can choose when discussing the set up of the bar.

[WillyNilly]

I think you stick with what is offered, unfortunately.

I look at it this way.. if you attended a reception at a restaurant, and the food served was roast beef.. would you ask the server if you could order the filet mignon instead?

Agreed with the food situation. Hosted bars are different though. It is an often an option the HC can choose when discussing the set up of the bar.

I don't think you can make a blanket statement like that accurately.  Because in my experience no hosted bars are not different.  In my area/social circles/life experiences cash bars are not done.  Most people would rather not have a big party or not have alcohol available at all then to have a guest pull out money to buy a drink.  Its just not done, not by the poor or the young or the experienced or even just the cheap. 

And if the host does spring for some sort of hosted bar - say a limited bar - it would be akin to slapping them across the face to buy an upgrade.  It would be no different then saying "what you provided is awful and unfit for my consumption and I will pay my own money to not consume the swivel you have provided."