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Author Topic: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?  (Read 42107 times)

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Jaelle

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"Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« on: February 08, 2012, 08:34:01 AM »
http://www.npr.org/2012/02/06/146464665/helicopter-parents-hover-in-the-workplace?ps=cprs

I really wondered what the eHellions would think of this.

I found the section that starts with the line "If some observers are troubled by this trend, others are urging businesses to accept it." fairly alarming. Or do they have a point? What do you think?

If someone showed up to interview at my place of work with a parent in tow, I'm pretty sure I'd turn them away flat.  ::)
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goldilocks

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2012, 08:41:06 AM »
This article seemed mainly to focus on interns, which is a little different.  An internship in some cases is just an extension of school.

However, I take no part in my childs college at all.  I assist with her homework if asked, but I do not call the school to solve issues, or contact the teachers, or even get on-line to check grades.  My DH on the other hand, is constantly dealing with some crisis of his DD.

I took a college visiting trip when my daughter was a senior with 3 other moms and their sons.  I told DD from the beginning that I was only their as an observer, I would not ask questions, take notes, or anything.  The other mom were taking notes, filling out paperwork and carrying around all brochures while their sons generally goofed off.   I refused to so much as carry a pamplet. 

Part of this is my own upbringing.  My mother knew which college I attended, but that was about it.  She could never remember my major, what year I was in, and never asked about my classes or grades.  I managed.


kethria

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2012, 08:45:32 AM »
Ack! The only time my mom ever came to work with me was when I was working as a vet and spent the night at her house and I got a call at 2 am to come because there was a sick cow. She held the flashlight while I IV'd the cow. Other than that she stays out of everything, which is as it should be! :P

MrTango

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2012, 08:59:51 AM »
Even for an internship, I would never hire a candidate that needs their parents there to help them through the interview.  Are their parents going to help them do their job?  Are their parents going to step in when they have a difficult customer on the phone?

Twik

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2012, 09:01:47 AM »
Even for an internship, I would never hire a candidate that needs their parents there to help them through the interview.  Are their parents going to help them do their job?  Are their parents going to step in when they have a difficult customer on the phone?

QUite likely.

"Mr. Caller, I do not like your tone when you're talking to my child. You've hurt his feelings, and let me tell you, I will not stand for this. I say good day to you, Sir, and do not call back!"
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Winterlight

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2012, 09:09:40 AM »
All other things being equal, if I had a choice between hiring a helicopter-parented person and someone whose mommy didn't call me, I'd pick option 2. Considering that the parent called me before their child ever got the job- no. What happens if Child gets written up for something? Will they call to scold me? I'd look at the situation and decide I don't need the drama.
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lowspark

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2012, 09:18:46 AM »
Wow. Parents' overinvolvement in their children's education has always baffled me. I encouraged independence in my kids and they were glad about it. They did their own work, suffered their own consequences (when that happened) and, most importantly, felt their own sense of achievement and accomplishment when they succeeded.

And I always used to say, what are these kids going to do when they go to college or get a job. Is mommy going to go with them and do everything for them? At what point are they finally forced to stand up on their own two feet and take responsibility?

Well... I guess I have my answer. Never.

According to the article, schools/teachers found that it's best to go ahead and embrace the parent overinvolvement or risk the parent becoming their worst enemy. OK, yeah, I can see that, kinda. I mean, the teacher has no choice. This student is in their class and they will have to deal with the parent.

But to knowingly hire someone whose parent is going to be a nuisance, to put it mildly? Ummm... no, I don't think so. In this case, I have a choice. No way I'd hire someone in this kind of situation. Ugh!
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QueenofAllThings

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #7 on: February 08, 2012, 09:28:50 AM »
I think - hope, pray - that, as with other media 'trends', this is relatively rare. If not, I worry for our future.

There is a BIG difference is my being able to see my 10 year-old son's homework assignments online and discussing his potential salary with a future employer. How long are we going to infantilize this generation? And no, I will not 'embrace it' and 'get the parents on my side'. They are not part of the discussion.

I will happily give my son work advice when he asks for it - but that's different.

VltGrantham

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #8 on: February 08, 2012, 10:29:11 AM »
I would really hope that any employer would give a pass to a prospective employee whose parent called in to try and negotiate on their behalf.  It's very likely the individual doesn't know, etc.  My cousin actually googled the company I work for now to "check them out" as though I wasn't capable of doing it myself and then called to ask them a bunch of questions--all without my knowledge or consent.  Thank goodness she never revealed that she was calling on my behalf.

I don't know that I would turn someone away flat, but I'd definitely decline to allow the parent to take part in the interview process and make it clear that the selection, hiring, salary, etc., was all confidential information.  If the "child" chooses to discuss that with his or her parent, that's one thing.  I thought it was against the law though for the employer to discuss that information with anyone else.  (I could be wrong though.)

Reason

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #9 on: February 08, 2012, 10:31:19 AM »
We had a parent call the CEO of the company I work for and request weekly meetings to keep appraised of his son's progress. Unsurprisingly, the call did not do his son any favors.

I don't think this trend will stick. At least I hope not.

BellyBionic

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #10 on: February 08, 2012, 10:40:53 AM »
I can *almost* see this level of involvement for the parent of a college student *if* the parent is paying for college and wants to make sure they're not shelling out thousands of dollars for their child to slack off and party.  Even then, though, I don't think it should go beyond asking for final grades and general progress reports from the child about what classes they're taking, what they're majoring in, and how things are going.  Calling professors or bosses is completely out of line.

I'm a college student, and this time around my mom only knows that I'm attending college.  We don't talk that often, so she doesn't have all the details (that reminds me, I should call my mother!).  The first time around when I was right out of high school, she was more involved because I was living at home, so we talked about my classes and she saw me doing homework.  I was also still considered a dependent, so I needed her help to fill out financial aid forms.  She didn't meddle, though, and I don't think it would have gone well for me if she had.

I spent a good 10 years working in HR, and I would not have hired anyone who brought their mommy with them to the interview.  Just like I wouldn't hire someone who ate lunch on my desk during the interview, or brought a passel of children with them, or showed up dressed in ratty old sweats.  Professionalism counts, and bringing your mom to your interview is very unprofessional.

Tai

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #11 on: February 08, 2012, 10:57:02 AM »
Here's the thing- context is everything.  Mom butts in to my work stuff- because Dad is my boss.  My father also employs my BIL.  We talk shop a lot at family events.  Dad will also be present at some classes I'm taking, because the three of us will be all attending the same certification courses. 

However, my sister works for a bank.  My parents don't butt in to her work stuff. 


WillyNilly

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #12 on: February 08, 2012, 11:03:48 AM »
I am a manager.  I can say I only hire adults to work here.  Sure a young adult would be considered for some positions, but under no circumstances would a "child" be.  So if a parent called or came in with concerns about their "child" working here, well it would definitely color my opinion of the candidate.  The words "son" and "daughter" wouldn't be quite so jarring but the mere presence of the parent in the process would bring to mind someone who has not matured to the required level of independence required or expected of the position.

Judah

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #13 on: February 08, 2012, 11:05:45 AM »
I can *almost* see this level of involvement for the parent of a college student *if* the parent is paying for college and wants to make sure they're not shelling out thousands of dollars for their child to slack off and party.

I think in the case of a child with a history of slacking off, this might be understandable, but not otherwise.  My oldest is in college which his dad and I pay for.  But DS earned my trust a long time ago.  I ask what classes he's taking only because I'm really interested in his life.  I ask about  his grades only because I have to turn them into our insurance agent once a year for DS to qualify for the good student discount.  I have given no input into his major, career goals, course selection, clubs.  It's not my life.

I can't imagine a valid excuse for interfering in the my child's life and I would not be able to take seriously an employee who's parent's felt the need to be this involved.
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Venus193

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #14 on: February 08, 2012, 11:18:47 AM »
This sometimes sounds to me like an extension of the idea that a college is in loco parentis.

Which is still loco because at 18 a college student is legally an adult.

My last company received a resume from a helicopter parent.  It ended up in the virtual trash can.  That is how I feel about it.  If someone can't manage his/her own career, we're not talking about an adult.