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Author Topic: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?  (Read 42338 times)

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mich3554

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #45 on: February 09, 2012, 08:48:20 AM »
Why would a parent even need to be in the building, despite giving them a ride?

I had a b/f that had a job interview and no transportation.  I dropped him off in front of the building and told him that I would be waiting in the bakery/restaurant across  the street that I had scoped out beforehand.  Since neither of us had a cell phone at the time, that seemed to be the most logical move.  But today, most people have cell phones so there is really no need for the parent to even be in the area.


blue2000

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #46 on: February 09, 2012, 08:55:57 AM »
I can see a parent/spouse/friend waiting just inside the doors if the person is not sure how long they will be (I've had job interviews in the middle of nowhere. I would have been happy for a doorway to wait in!). Not everyone has a cell phone, and they might not want to carry one into an interview.
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Twik

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #47 on: February 09, 2012, 08:58:30 AM »
I might give a pass to the applicant who got a ride from a parent, and the parent quietly stays in the lobby, especially if the weather is especially hot or cold, and there isn't anyplace else to wait.  It would still be a demerit, so to speak, but a sufficiently small one that an excellent applicant would still have a chance.  Parent calling the office or coming into the interview? Sorry Mom/Dad, you just lost your kid a job.

I wouldn't give them a demerit for this one. If the parent stays in the lobby or waiting room, you shouldn't even know they are there. The applicant has simply gotten a ride to the office and their ride is waiting for them when they finish.

If the parent goes so far as introducing themselves or asking questions, then they have crossed a line, IMO.

Yes, I don't see why this is a "demerit". I don't think that a ride provider is obligated to make themselves uncomfortable, just to give an impression that the person who they transported is independent. If there is a waiting room, it is acceptable for people to wait in it. Interviews sometimes take a long time, and I don't think that a parent should have to freeze or bake, or even, in nice weather, stay cramped in the car. It would strike me as an "overnicety".
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Reason

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #48 on: February 09, 2012, 10:28:16 AM »
I think the impression that the person being interviewed is independent and self reliant is of paramount importance in a work setting, especially with a young candidate these days. We all know what they say about first impressions and all.

I think a cab or public transport is the preferred option to a parental deposit.

mlkind1789

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #49 on: February 09, 2012, 10:31:21 AM »
I cannot imagine going to an interview with my daughters, let alone talk to the supervisor about their salary or anything else about the job.  Oldest dd got her first job this Christmas and did it all on her own.  I did meet her manager once though, we were in the mall doing some shopping and we stopped by to get her paycheck and schedule for the next week.  We had a nice conversation while waiting for her, but it was about the mall and how it gets at Christmas since I used to manage a store in the same mall.  After "Hi boss, this is my mom" DD wasn't mentioned again except for me to say "Yeah, I've already warned her about people triple parking when it snows" and he laughed because he has seen it too. 

*the mall parking lot is notorious for people forgetting how to park when it snows and end up triple parking with three cars parked end to end with one poor person stuck in the middle.*

pixel dust

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #50 on: February 09, 2012, 10:32:04 AM »
I read this article a couple days ago and am still utterly baffled by it.

My mother was always curious and interested in my college studies and is interested in my job now, but she has never, and will never, speak or meet my co-workers or managers. I'm going through some work troubles now and she offers me advice and reassurance that I'll get through them, but there's no way she'd call me supervisor and argue with them over my business.

During college I had a summer job in the hospital where she worked (and, coincidentally, where my younger brother also worked). My office was literally right across the hallway from hers, but never, not once, did she come in and talk to my supervisor about my work or any issues. If I had any problems, she'd shrug and say, "Well, you're an adult now. You can talk to your supervisor about it." She wouldn't even answer to "Mom" if I ran into her in the hallway (but that's mostly because anyone hollering "MOM!" down a hospital hallway was most likely not talking to her). We would drop by each others offices once in a while and ask a quick question about what we were doing for dinner or if I could pick up something from the grocery store on the way home (I lived at home at the time), but they weren't long drawn out conversations.

I don't work in HR, but if I did and a potential hire's parents called me to rhapsodize about their child's many talents, I would immediately put that person's resume into the trash. No way would I deal with their ridiculousness.

Bibliophile

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #51 on: February 09, 2012, 10:54:18 AM »
I might give a pass to the applicant who got a ride from a parent, and the parent quietly stays in the lobby, especially if the weather is especially hot or cold, and there isn't anyplace else to wait.  It would still be a demerit, so to speak, but a sufficiently small one that an excellent applicant would still have a chance.  Parent calling the office or coming into the interview? Sorry Mom/Dad, you just lost your kid a job.

I wouldn't give them a demerit for this one. If the parent stays in the lobby or waiting room, you shouldn't even know they are there. The applicant has simply gotten a ride to the office and their ride is waiting for them when they finish.

If the parent goes so far as introducing themselves or asking questions, then they have crossed a line, IMO.

Yes, I don't see why this is a "demerit". I don't think that a ride provider is obligated to make themselves uncomfortable, just to give an impression that the person who they transported is independent. If there is a waiting room, it is acceptable for people to wait in it. Interviews sometimes take a long time, and I don't think that a parent should have to freeze or bake, or even, in nice weather, stay cramped in the car. It would strike me as an "overnicety".

To me it hints at unreliable transportation to/from work, along with the potential for not being seen as an adult.  If you're trying to make a good impression on an interview, you want NOTHING to detract from your skills and ability to do the job. 

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hobish

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #52 on: February 09, 2012, 12:01:47 PM »

The really scary thing is that things have a way of going from “accepted” to “expected”. Can you see it in 20 years?
“Sally, we had a meeting about the new project yesterday and I noticed your mother was not here. Is this going to be a problem? We really need you to be serious about this. Please have her or your father call me immediately.”
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Bethczar

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #53 on: February 09, 2012, 01:05:19 PM »
I might give a pass to the applicant who got a ride from a parent, and the parent quietly stays in the lobby, especially if the weather is especially hot or cold, and there isn't anyplace else to wait.  It would still be a demerit, so to speak, but a sufficiently small one that an excellent applicant would still have a chance.  Parent calling the office or coming into the interview? Sorry Mom/Dad, you just lost your kid a job.

I wouldn't give them a demerit for this one. If the parent stays in the lobby or waiting room, you shouldn't even know they are there. The applicant has simply gotten a ride to the office and their ride is waiting for them when they finish.

If the parent goes so far as introducing themselves or asking questions, then they have crossed a line, IMO.

Yes, I don't see why this is a "demerit". I don't think that a ride provider is obligated to make themselves uncomfortable, just to give an impression that the person who they transported is independent. If there is a waiting room, it is acceptable for people to wait in it. Interviews sometimes take a long time, and I don't think that a parent should have to freeze or bake, or even, in nice weather, stay cramped in the car. It would strike me as an "overnicety".

To me it hints at unreliable transportation to/from work, along with the potential for not being seen as an adult.  If you're trying to make a good impression on an interview, you want NOTHING to detract from your skills and ability to do the job.
I carpooled with my dad (to separate jobs) for a couple years. He was the way I would get to work normally. I could drive myself if he wasn't working that day, so I don't see it as being a sign of unreliability. It's better if the parents waits elsewhere, but as PP's have said, if there is nowhere else around for the driver to wait and it's very cold/hot, I don't see why an applicant should get knocked down for having someone in the lobby.

SisJackson

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #54 on: February 09, 2012, 01:52:17 PM »
My place of business experienced our first helicopter-parent-of-interviewee in 2010.  I posted about it at the time:

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=77093.0

Thankfully there has not been a recurrence of this phenomenon.

drebay

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #55 on: February 09, 2012, 03:27:08 PM »

The really scary thing is that things have a way of going from “accepted” to “expected”. Can you see it in 20 years?
“Sally, we had a meeting about the new project yesterday and I noticed your mother was not here. Is this going to be a problem? We really need you to be serious about this. Please have her or your father call me immediately.”


:o

Sirius

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #56 on: February 09, 2012, 03:37:16 PM »
Years ago when I was a store manager a woman and her husband came in to ask me about a job for her.  She said virtually nothing; he did all the talking.  His attitude was such that I knew exactly what would happen if I hired this woman:  If he didn't like her work schedule he'd be calling.  If he didn't like what I asked her to do as part of her job, he'd be calling me and chewing me out.  Not going to happen.  I refused to hire her, mainly because I didn't want to be dealing with her husband.

Twik

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #57 on: February 09, 2012, 03:47:19 PM »
I really don't think checking out visitors minding their own business in the waiting room is a logical part of the hiring process.

Yes, sometimes young people (particularly those applying for their first full-time job) get lifts from relatives or friends. Does it mean they have unreliable transportation? Not necessarily. And not having a relative in the waiting room does not imply that their transportation is reliable.

If you want to know how they'll get to work if hired, the best solution would be to ask what their plans are. They may be completely different from how they got to the interview.
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gorplady

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #58 on: February 09, 2012, 04:05:07 PM »
I might give a pass to the applicant who got a ride from a parent, and the parent quietly stays in the lobby, especially if the weather is especially hot or cold, and there isn't anyplace else to wait.  It would still be a demerit, so to speak, but a sufficiently small one that an excellent applicant would still have a chance.  Parent calling the office or coming into the interview? Sorry Mom/Dad, you just lost your kid a job.

Why would the parent, sitting quietly in the lobby, give the applicant a demerit? It seems to me it shouldn't matter how they got to the interview. For all you know, it's a friend or partner.



SiderisAnon

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Re: "Accept" parents in the workplace? Huh?
« Reply #59 on: February 10, 2012, 01:16:59 AM »
Quote
"Every time a teacher [resisted], that parent, who was so attached to their kid, would become that teacher's worst enemy," Howe says.

If a parent became my worst enemy over an employee, the answer would be simple:  That employee would be terminated.  I'd inform the parent the first time they butted in that it was inappropriate.  If it happened a second time, I'd serve warning on the employee.  If it happened again, the employee would be terminated because their life was causing difficulty for the workplace.

Is it fair to the employee?  That could be argued both ways.  Is it fair to the company to have to deal with a crazy parent?  Definitely not.

Companies can and will fire someone because of harassing phone calls that interfere with the workplace, as has happened with creditors or exs won't stop calling a workplace.  People also get fired because some friend of theirs cannot get the hint to stop showing up and disturbing that person's workday.

A teacher may have to take it, but an employer does not. 


I also have to say that the first time I heard about a parent showing up for a job interview with a child, I was shocked and bewildered.  I don't mean gave Junior a ride, I mean expected to go into the interview and be part of the process.  If you can't interview for a position without a parent holding your hand, you certainly cannot perform the job duties.

The only exception I would make is if I was hiring teens just coming into the legal age of work and the parent had questions about their child's safety, ability to maintain grades, and other such things.  However, I would still conduct the interview with the teen separately.  (And if the parent expected to be calling regularly, they'd be informed that this would reflect poorly on their child and could lead to termination.)
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.  It is the source of all true art and science.  He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead, his eyes are closed."  Einstein, 1930