I've asked about this on another forum I occasionally go on and was disappointed to see that nearly all of the replies told me to just dump my boyfriend, so I wanted to try again someplace with some people that seem a bit more considerate in this area.
My fiance and I have been together for 6 years and have a very happy and healthy relationship that I am not looking to just throw away over one little issue that I feel can be resolved. He has depression and anxiety, which flare up badly only rarely (about once every two years), and he's really good about recognizing it and checking in with his doctor to manage it. When things get rough for him, his personal hygiene suffers. He has his medication sorted out and is doing so much better now, however, the hygiene thing is the first sign that things are bad and the last thing to get resolved. Mostly, the issue is that he gives up on showering and wearing clean clothes. I've tried to encourage him gently to shower, and he will do it without saying anything or refusing or anything like that, but he won't actually wash. He occasionally goes for over a week without soap touching his body, and as much as I love him, well, he has a strong natural scent that doesn't mature well. He also won't wear clean clothes. I'm usually the one doing the laundry in our household, so I do my best to make sure he never has a shortage of clean clothes in the closet, but he opts not to wear them. I actually figured out that he was hiding his dirty socks and underwear in our bedroom and just choosing those instead of going to the closet or dresser.
I've gotten comments from people (his friends and my family) asking if I could address the body odor situation with him, and I've tried, but my point has never gotten across. He's also lost a job because of this, and that didn't inspire any changes either. My attempts to fix this have included buying him expensive manly bath products (he loves using them when he's feeling his best), gently suggesting that his hair would be so soft and shiny if he washed the gel out every night, setting a schedule for our day (run errands, come home, both of us shower, then we go out on a date), asking him not to hide dirty clothes, making sure I clean out the dirty clothes spots everyday and putting them in the wash, suggesting counseling to help with his depression, and I've even tried to tell him flat out that I'm concerned for him and his hygiene and that I love him so dearly and that taking care of himself might help build some love and respect for himself which might help to pull him out of his depressed phase even faster, and he's had a former boss confront him (he came home and cried and felt horrible for weeks and he wouldn't tell me exactly what she said, but I know she wasn't the queen of tact, so I can only imagine). After that boss confronted him, he didn't change his habits and they slowly started giving his work to other employees until eventually he had no work and made no money and had to quit and find a new job.
So, what kind of approach might I take here? He's quite sensitive, but subtly hasn't worked so far.