Author Topic: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!  (Read 83296 times)

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Asharah

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Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« on: August 01, 2007, 08:44:00 PM »
A few years back a friend of mine went shopping for a bridal gown. “Sue” was a tall, statuesque woman, big-boned. Yes, she was overweight, but due to her bone structure and excellent posture, carried it quite well. Only the most rude cretin would have ever referred to her as “Fat”. Being a little older (about 30), she was not going to spend months using bridal gown shopping as a fun little hobby for her and her girlfriends with multiple repeat visits to the same store to try on the same gown – she wanted to find a dress and buy it with little drama in one visit. She was also quite wealthy and money would be no object in purchasing a wedding gown (or her bridesmaids gowns or the million other accessory items for a wedding). In other words, a merchant with an ounce of sense should be on their knees thanking the shopping gods that Sue walked into their store that day.

Unfortunately, we did not have that experience with ANY bridal salon. Every single one was incredibly rude to her. We finally went to THE most exclusive salon in the state, assuming wrongly that the ‘nicer’ the salon the nicer you would be treated. We walked in and the clerks just stare at us. STARE at Sue, I mean. No one greets us, although I see subsequent customers being greeted, fawned over, and given complimentary drinks. I finally went over and quietly asked a clerk if someone could help us. The clerks laugh and one finally sneers at me and says very loudly,  “NO! We don’t sell to FAT brides here.”  I was absolutely dumbfounded. It takes a lot to render me speechless, but I was. And my poor friend – she was aghast and humiliated, not only at the insult but at the scene this clerk was causing.  I immediately demanded to see the manager. The manager comes out and I tell her the story and her response was, “Well, my associate is correct. We do NOT provide service to fat brides. They will give potential customers the wrong idea of the quality of our merchandise when they schlump down the aisle.”  I have never been so appalled as a customer in my life. Never.  I said to her, “My friend here was willing to spend thousands of dollars, today, and you’re telling me—“  She interrupts me, “I don’t care about today’s  money. Long term, dressing a fat bride will ruin me.”  Needless to say, we left. I wrote a letter on Sue’s behalf to the owner and never received even the courtesy of a reply. Sue ended up having her gown made by a seamstress. She looked lovely.

Years later, I myself worked in the bridal business 1500 miles away and made sure to always give everyone the same excellent treatment and ended up having a lot of larger size customers from around the state. They all told me how badly various salons around our state had treated them if they were a size 12 or higher.  If I were ever going to go into a business for myself, I would have opened a salon specializing in merchandise and service for larger size brides.

I have never forgotten that moment. And I sincerely hope all of those rude salon employees end up weighing 300 pounds later in life and learn a valuable lesson about treating everyone with respect. Especially when they have an open wallet in hand.

Merchants0105-07

Asharah's comment: I think OP should have taken out a full page ad in the paper regarding the bridal store saying "If you are more than a size 2, DON"T EVEN BOTHER wasting your time going to this store because they will have NOTHING that fits you! They don't wait on FAT BRIDES!
Asharah

Kain456

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Re: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2007, 12:08:23 AM »
Nobody deserves that kind of treatment. I have to figure it's only one of those "couture" places that appeal to very wealthy people. If anyone did that to Rose, or to any other bride for that matter, I would definately have a word with the owner and tell them that this is NOT the way anyone should conduct a business, and that the "long term" would have them lose every single one of their customers, as nobody would want to shop at a store who treats anyone above a size 2 like dirt.

And to anyone who thinks that's past what should be expected, I'm just being practical here. NOBODY deserves that kind of treatment to begin with. People deserve respect in general, no matter the circumstance. Second, brides deserve special treatment! It's their big day, and they want help to get things working right. These brides should be helped, especially when they're willing to PAY the big bucks for that help! And this place just seems to think that because "heaven forbid they don't meet the really, REALLY strict 'requirements' on what a woman is supposed to look like, that they shop here and make skinny women look bad!" >:(

*sigh* Sorry to get so worked up over this. This is just something I view as practical and straightforward, when it comes to being polite. These rude people seriously have to get off their high horses, and treat ALL customers with fairness and respect. Especially all these brides, who are just looking for the right dress to help make their wedding day truely special.

Twik

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Re: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2007, 12:15:00 AM »
This seems to be a common theme - salespeople in bridal stores seemingly bent on stamping out every possible bit of self-esteem among their clients. Is there a reason why the "treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen" mentality is so concentrated in this niche of the clothing world?
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Asharah

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Re: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2007, 12:25:10 AM »
This seems to be a common theme - salespeople in bridal stores seemingly bent on stamping out every possible bit of self-esteem among their clients. Is there a reason why the "treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen" mentality is so concentrated in this niche of the clothing world?
I wonder if the reason evil bridal shop employee stories are so common here is because the bridal industry has cornered the market on snotty, rude salespeople, or is it just because people are more likely to be infuriated by bad service when they're spending hundreds of dollars for a wedding dress than $10 worth of fast food.
Asharah

Ondine

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Re: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2007, 01:16:36 AM »
If that were me, I so would have pulled a Julia Roberts from "Pretty Woman" and walked into the store wearing a perfect gown, just to show off.

I also would have put the letter in the newspaper - not that the store didn't already have a bad repuation.

LyanneB1

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Re: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2007, 08:27:39 AM »
My best friend's niece is getting married next February.  She's a big girl (double HH bust), beautiful & with Gothic inclinations.  She's having her dress made & it will cost £3500 ($7,105.69).  Boned corset top, bustled skirt, purple satin, dressmaker who specializes in wedding dresses for big ladies.  Best friend & I were shocked at the cost, but I can see it's actually going to be worth every penny.

Calbrini

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Re: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2007, 08:34:38 AM »
I knew a girl who was British size 16 and was told that she wasnt a 'normal' size by one brideshop.

The owner of the  place I bought my dress from was horrified when I told her that story. She says its totally normal and recently she has sold a lot of size 18 and 20 dresses!

Ondine

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Re: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2007, 02:25:41 PM »
I knew a girl who was British size 16 and was told that she wasnt a 'normal' size by one brideshop.

The owner of the  place I bought my dress from was horrified when I told her that story. She says its totally normal and recently she has sold a lot of size 18 and 20 dresses!

The fact that cruel treatment is totally normal is totally disturbing.

Sophia

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Re: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2007, 02:42:43 PM »
I knew a girl who was British size 16 and was told that she wasnt a 'normal' size by one brideshop.

The owner of the  place I bought my dress from was horrified when I told her that story. She says its totally normal and recently she has sold a lot of size 18 and 20 dresses!

The fact that cruel treatment is totally normal is totally disturbing.

Discrimination against fat people is the last socially acceptable discrimination.  At least, I can't think of any others.  Not that I approve. 

Hollymom1229

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Re: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #9 on: August 02, 2007, 05:39:14 PM »
I had this happen to me in a store when I went to get my gown.  I'm definitely a plus sized gal (Size 22 US).  I knew what dress I wanted and had a print out of the stores that could order it for me, and I knew it came in my size.  The first store I went into I was ignored until I walked up to a clerk and asked for assistance.  She looked down her nose at me, and said "I can't help you, we have no samples for someone so...large to try on."  It was the snotties tone possible, like she was disgusted I was even in her store.  I then thanked her, and told her that I had no intention of trying on dresses I just needed a store to work with me to order my dress from the designer, but due to her attitude I would gladly take my rather large purchase elsewhere.  I then walked out, and found a great store that treated me like gold and that even had a few samples with some elements of my dream dress that I was able to try on to get a sense of what it would look like.

Lisbeth

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Re: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #10 on: August 02, 2007, 05:46:46 PM »
This seems to be a common theme - salespeople in bridal stores seemingly bent on stamping out every possible bit of self-esteem among their clients. Is there a reason why the "treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen" mentality is so concentrated in this niche of the clothing world?
I wonder if the reason evil bridal shop employee stories are so common here is because the bridal industry has cornered the market on snotty, rude salespeople, or is it just because people are more likely to be infuriated by bad service when they're spending hundreds of dollars for a wedding dress than $10 worth of fast food.

Maybe they're in league with the weight-loss industry people and this form of rudeness is intended to "shame" customers into using the products and services of the weight-loss industry.  :(

Sure doesn't inspire me to lose weight.
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Chivewarrior

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Re: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #11 on: August 02, 2007, 10:05:50 PM »
I knew a girl who was British size 16 and was told that she wasnt a 'normal' size by one brideshop.

The owner of the  place I bought my dress from was horrified when I told her that story. She says its totally normal and recently she has sold a lot of size 18 and 20 dresses!
The fact that cruel treatment is totally normal is totally disturbing.
I think she meant the size was totally normal, not the treatment. Although that seems to be becoming the norm, too. Maybe it's because bridal shops don't generally rely on repeat customers? You only get a BWW once according to etiquette, or twice at most should you have a partner having their first wedding for your second. Which means you only need a dress and other accroutements once.

Sneezy

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Re: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #12 on: August 02, 2007, 10:50:52 PM »

I wonder if the reason evil bridal shop employee stories are so common here is because the bridal industry has cornered the market on snotty, rude salespeople, or is it just because people are more likely to be infuriated by bad service when they're spending hundreds of dollars for a wedding dress than $10 worth of fast food.

Maybe they assume that skinny people are richer and figure that negative word of mouth isn't a bad thing coming from larger people.

Another thing is that they probably don't get a lot of repeat business so they can afford to lose a single customer more than some other places could.

LyanneB1

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Re: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #13 on: August 03, 2007, 04:29:25 AM »
I knew a girl who was British size 16 and was told that she wasnt a 'normal' size by one brideshop.

The owner of the  place I bought my dress from was horrified when I told her that story. She says its totally normal and recently she has sold a lot of size 18 and 20 dresses!

I'm a 16 & didn't have any attitude from shops when looking for my dress, but a lot of the shops in my town didn't have a wide selection of larger sizes to try on.  So you try on the dress with the shop assts holding the back together & try to guess what it would look like if it fitted you.  Debenhams did (though I think only up to size 20) & so did the wonderful shop I got my dress from.

supernova

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Re: Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #14 on: August 03, 2007, 05:12:11 AM »

I'm a 16 & didn't have any attitude from shops when looking for my dress, but a lot of the shops in my town didn't have a wide selection of larger sizes to try on.  So you try on the dress with the shop assts holding the back together & try to guess what it would look like if it fitted you... 

Yep; that happened to me too (the "holding up the dress in the mirror to see how it MIGHT look" thing) and I hated it.  Not even one sample dress in a large size?  Not one? 

Sadly I got this "fat brides are chewing gum on the sidewalk of retail" attitude even though I had chosen a bridal boutique that advertised in a large-womens' magazine as being "size friendly."  Oh, and they ripped me off too; I've posted about that elsewhere. 

It's heartbreaking that these prejudiced people get such a kick out of ruining what should be a treasured memory for so many of us.  The day one buys one's wedding dress should be something to look back on with joy, not humiliation and tears.

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