Bad Bridal Store: We Don't Do FAT BRIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!

[alecmari]

BTW I forgot to address this in my previous post.  Berkely in California created a strictly merit based acceptance program and now they are majority Asian.  As in, 90% Asian or thereabouts.

So the idea that white men are being discriminated against in scholarships is a load of hogwash.  Not only that but thousands of scholarships go unclaimed every year.  Maybe if people did a little research and work for scholarships they want instead of expecting them to drop into their hands like ripe fruit, they could go to school for free too.

[Ulla dances in a silly way]

BTW I forgot to address this in my previous post.  Berkely in California created a strictly merit based acceptance program and now they are majority Asian.  As in, 90% Asian or thereabouts.

So the idea that white men are being discriminated against in scholarships is a load of hogwash.  Not only that but thousands of scholarships go unclaimed every year.  Maybe if people did a little research and work for scholarships they want instead of expecting them to drop into their hands like ripe fruit, they could go to school for free too.

Again, the point is not about white males being discriminated against. The only reason I even argued about that was because I was called out on the unpopular opinion of a white man having any sort of disadvantage. I wouldn't have even brought it up if someone hadn't claimed that overweight people are the only group that is still socially acceptable to discriminate against.

One college does not make a rule. One college no longer discriminates based on race of any kind, positively or negatively. That's great, but that leaves all the rest of the colleges in the US weighting admission based on race and sex.

-Ulla

Modified to reiterate that my issue is with holding one group above all others and with putting down an entire group of people in order to empower oneself.

[MrsO]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/11/29/npolice29.xml&sSheet=/portal/2005/11/29/ixportal.html

This is in the UK.
Any thoughts?

[Bethalize]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/11/29/npolice29.xml&sSheet=/portal/2005/11/29/ixportal.html

This is in the UK.
Any thoughts?

I think the UK needs more well-practised positive discrimination.

When I did youth work we did a session on equality. The question of 'best person for the job' came up. The example used was something about packages being delivered. The able bodied white person was fastest, the coloured person was half a second behind and the blind person was four seconds behind but still ahead of requirements. The able bodied white person was the fastest, but all could do the job better than needed to be done. They then extended this metaphor to something like racing and pointed out that if people weren't all starting from the same place or if some had access to help that others didn't the supposed 'best' would always be the one who started closest to the end. Really gave the kids something to think about.

[Calbrini]

This happened at our local fire brigade where lads I knew were turned down despite meeting requirements. The fire brigade then took on a refugee as they HAD to take on a certain amount of people from other backgrounds and he was the only non-white person to apply. I dont doubt the refugee guy was up to the job but they had let him jump the queue to satisfy quotas.

However I knew of a place that would ask for a passport photo with application forms and anyone who didnt look right never even got the forms looked at (overweight people, women in headscarves etc)

[alecmari]

This happened at our local fire brigade where lads I knew were turned down despite meeting requirements. The fire brigade then took on a refugee as they HAD to take on a certain amount of people from other backgrounds and he was the only non-white person to apply. I dont doubt the refugee guy was up to the job but they had let him jump the queue to satisfy quotas.

However I knew of a place that would ask for a passport photo with application forms and anyone who didnt look right never even got the forms looked at (overweight people, women in headscarves etc)

They are doing a pretty lousy job of recruiting qualified minorities if they only had one applicant.  Matter of fact, sounds to me like they don't even have a recruitment policy. 

[Stormtreader]

I know in the UK there are very different ratios of minorities in different areas of the country - it could be that its a national 'quota', but the fire brigade is in a very white area of the country.

Where I am now, I would say the mix is 1:3 if not higher, but in my home town, there was exactly 1 minority family in the whole area and they only moved there when I was about 10 - EVERYONE at my schools pre-college was white.

[AprilBride2007]

I seem to have a similar incident with a boutique my sophomore year in high school. A friend and I were shopping early for homecoming dresses and when we'd finally picked one each and went to request changing rooms, the lady took the dresses from us and said "Trying dresses on is only for SERIOUS customers." and then shooed us out.

I'm assuming she doesn't take Visa debit cards seriously? Cuz JC Penny and Dillard's does, apparently.

I was glad when that store (which had only been open a few months) closed a few weeks later.

[Asharah]

I seem to have a similar incident with a boutique my sophomore year in high school. A friend and I were shopping early for homecoming dresses and when we'd finally picked one each and went to request changing rooms, the lady took the dresses from us and said "Trying dresses on is only for SERIOUS customers." and then shooed us out.

I'm assuming she doesn't take Visa debit cards seriously? Cuz JC Penny and Dillard's does, apparently.

I was glad when that store (which had only been open a few months) closed a few weeks later.

Did you come back and wave the receipts from the other stores at them to show them how serious you were?

[AprilBride2007]

I seem to have a similar incident with a boutique my sophomore year in high school. A friend and I were shopping early for homecoming dresses and when we'd finally picked one each and went to request changing rooms, the lady took the dresses from us and said "Trying dresses on is only for SERIOUS customers." and then shooed us out.

I'm assuming she doesn't take Visa debit cards seriously? Cuz JC Penny and Dillard's does, apparently.

I was glad when that store (which had only been open a few months) closed a few weeks later.

Did you come back and wave the receipts from the other stores at them to show them how serious you were?

No, but we did state fairly loudly for everyone to hear (including the shop lady) about how rude she was and whatnot, and we did make it public knowledge of our experience. Apparently we weren't the only ones because one in five people had some other woe about them.

[newbiePA]

FYI, this isn't just limited to "fat" people or "young" people or people not "well dressed enough" for bridal shopping.

I went out with my parents last weekend. I am an almost-30 professional, well-dressed, and made an appointment.

First bridal shop, which had FOUR employees, and no customers, completely ignored me, and just waived their hands vaguely towards the dressed and said "help yourself." This wasn't a David's, this was a nice boutique shop.

We left.

We then found the perfect dress, on sale at a REALLY posh shop across town.  It was a dressmakers sample, so it was an amazing deal.

Evil newbie called the bad bridal shop first thing Monday morning to tell them how disappointed I was in their service, and to tell them I had purchased my dress across town, and would be buying my bridemaid dresses at the other shop as well. 

newbiePA

[bionelly]

I know in the UK there are very different ratios of minorities in different areas of the country - it could be that its a national 'quota', but the fire brigade is in a very white area of the country.

Where I am now, I would say the mix is 1:3 if not higher, but in my home town, there was exactly 1 minority family in the whole area and they only moved there when I was about 10 - EVERYONE at my schools pre-college was white.

This is the case in the US, too.  Up until high school I lived in a place that was probably 40% white, 30% black, 15% asian, 10% hispanic and 5% other races.  Just before I started high school, we moved about 100 miles to a place that's over 90% white (not an exaggeration - I got it from a statistics website).  There were three minority students and one minority teacher in my high school (all classes combined), and my current workplace employs exactly one minority (albeit in a highly-placed position).  I do support the quotas as a general rule, but they would be pretty hard to stick to in this area unless allowances were made to adjust for the racial and ethnic ratios in the area.

[lamorevincera]

FYI, this isn't just limited to "fat" people or "young" people or people not "well dressed enough" for bridal shopping.

I went out with my parents last weekend. I am an almost-30 professional, well-dressed, and made an appointment.

First bridal shop, which had FOUR employees, and no customers, completely ignored me, and just waived their hands vaguely towards the dressed and said "help yourself." This wasn't a David's, this was a nice boutique shop.

We left.

We then found the perfect dress, on sale at a REALLY posh shop across town.  It was a dressmakers sample, so it was an amazing deal.

Evil newbie called the bad bridal shop first thing Monday morning to tell them how disappointed I was in their service, and to tell them I had purchased my dress across town, and would be buying my bridemaid dresses at the other shop as well. 

newbiePA

That's not Evil Newbie. That's Awesome, Kick-Butt Newbie. 

[linp1920]

See I had the opposite problem.

My dress was originally a size 14 because the majority of dresses in the shops where a size 14

And they were all too big.

The sales staff kept saying "All you need to do is padded bra and besides everyone gains weight before their wedding."

Wrong.

That's funny, my SIL had her dress made (she's a healthy thin, and probably would have fit into most bridal gowns, but she knew what she wanted, and that's what she got), and the seamstress was hesitant to do the final fitting too early because every bride she's ever worked with has lost 10 pounds before the wedding.  I sure hope she's right, I'll just get married 6 times 

As far as clothing sizes go, I know they've changed over the years, but I'm the same size in sewing patterns that I am in most stores (there are always flukes), and I would give everyday clothing shops and sewing patterns majority rule on the "real" sizes.  It makes sense that they would change as women stopped crushing their ribs and twisting their spines out of place in the name of fashion.  On a related corset note, I recently reread the Little House on the Prairie books, and in one of them Laura's mother reminisces about her wedding day, when her husband could fit his hands around her waist easily.  I really hope he had big hands, I can't imagine being deformed into that small a size (I'm not saying that because I think small people are deformed, but because she did wear a corset every day, BTW.  I don't want to upset the size 0's).

I'm a size zero or two and there is no way in hell anyone could get their hands around my waist. Scary.

[The Glen]

When I went dress shopping for my gown my MOH kept telling me I didn't have a normal body or I was freakish. I'm sure she meant it as a compliment but I kept thinking if she truly thought I was freakish. In my heart I knew that she was trying to be nice but it still hurts having your best friend say things like that. At 5'7 and 128 I don't feel skinny or bony, I feel fit and happy with how I look. 

It is hurtful when people comment on your weight even if they mean it to be a compliment it can come across as picking on them.

I can't imagine that being called abnormal or freakish could ever be taken as a compliment. I'm sorry your friend hurt you.

I'm 5'71/2" and my ideal weight for my build is 135 or so. I'd look a little skinny at 128 but not exactly underweight. Even if she had been less hurtful about it, I don't see what your friend means, and I'm very conscious about my weight, having been underweight while I was very ill.