Author Topic: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry  (Read 13384 times)

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Asharah

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When my uncle was married, he and my aunt asked me to sit at the guest book at the reception (I was ten years old at the time). When they first asked me to do this months before the wedding, I asked my uncle (a big joker) what I needed to do, and he told me, "Charge everyone a dollar as they come in the door".

As one of the guests came in, he asked me, "Is there an admission fee?", and I laughed and told him, "Uncle Bruce said to charge everyone a dollar". He thought this was hilarious, and fished a dollar from his wallet, despite my protests that my uncle was only kidding. He told me, "Just tell your uncle that's my wedding present!", and went in. My mother came by to check on me later on, and asked me, "Where did you get this dollar from?". I told her that a man had asked if there was admission, and I had said Uncle Bruce had said to charge a dollar, so the man had given me a dollar and wouldn't take it back even though I told him it was a joke and tried to return it. My mother freaked out and began yelling at me in front of the whole procession of guests, because she jumped to the conclusion that I hadn't realized this was a joke and had been asking everyone for money. Asharah's comment: Well that was really mature of you Mom!

Being ten, and with the way my mother had acted, I thought that I had done something terrible and unforgivable, so as soon as she walked away, I proceeded to put my head down on the table and sob as the rest of the guests filed in. Naturally, this was not the pleasant welcome that my uncle and aunt had planned for, and it raised a lot of questions from the guests as they entered the receiving line (a few asked me themselves, but of course, I couldn't bear to tell them about the "horrible thing" I had done, especially since I might risk obtaining more dollar bills as a result!). I overheard one woman ask the mother of the bride, "What is wrong with that girl?", and my uncle's new mother-in-law replied, "She gets very emotional at weddings"! (Nice cover!)

Finally, my grandma came to see what had happened, and I hysterically poured out the story of how the dollar had been forced on me, mom was very, very angry, and the wedding is ruined. Asharah's comment: If anybody ruined anything, it was Mom with her stupidity! My grandma then went to find my mother and told her that since she had made me cry, she better get me to stop crying fast. My mother returned and presented me with an entire pack of Lifesavers, but instead of telling me that it was not my fault, she told me that the only way I could salvage what I had done was to give the dollar to my uncle and apologize for my actions! Asharah's comment: Because otherwise she would have to admit that she was the one who screwed up! Later on, I presented the dollar to him when we danced together, and told him I was sorry that I had "ruined his wedding". He felt so bad at how upset I was that he offered to let me keep the dollar, at which point I nearly had a panic attack saying that mom had told me that the only way to make it right was for him to take it. Asharah's comment: I think somebody should have walked OP over to Mom and chewed her out for being an idiot over a stupid dollar and upsetting her daughter for no good reason! Fifteen years later, my entire extended family still refuses to believe that I wasn't hustling everyone at the wedding for money.  Asharah's comment: All because Mom doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut.   Witches0713-03
Asharah

mechtilde

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Re: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2012, 09:00:29 AM »
This was the Uncle's fault, exacerbated by the mother.
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Yvaine

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Re: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2012, 10:56:52 AM »
This was the Uncle's fault, exacerbated by the mother.

Yup, both adults were at fault; a lot of kids would not have realized that was a joke, and mom behaved terribly. I remember being a kid and haaaating it when adults refused to listen and chewed me out for things I didn't do.

lady_disdain

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Re: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2012, 11:15:43 AM »
When my uncle was married, he and my aunt asked me to sit at the guest book at the reception (I was ten years old at the time). When they first asked me to do this months before the wedding, I asked my uncle (a big joker) what I needed to do, and he told me, "Charge everyone a dollar as they come in the door".

As one of the guests came in, he asked me, "Is there an admission fee?", and I laughed and told him, "Uncle Bruce said to charge everyone a dollar". He thought this was hilarious, and fished a dollar from his wallet, despite my protests that my uncle was only kidding. He told me, "Just tell your uncle that's my wedding present!", and went in.

I disagree that the uncle is at fault. The writer makes it very clear that he was joking, that she knew he was joking and the guest knew as well and was playing along.

The mother, on the other hand, refuses to listen to her daughter, when she tried to explain it was a joke. The mother also jumps from "1 dollar she found with her daughter" to "charging everyone" (I wonder where those dollars went).

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2012, 11:24:17 AM »
I agree that the uncle was not at fault here.  The OP knew he was joking.  The guest knew the uncle was joking; he probably just wanted to 'tip' the little girl stuck at the signing table.

Mom was completely at fault here.  Asking where the dollar came from was fine; if she was concerned, she could have approached the guest and/or the uncle quietly to ensure that it was OK that the OP had received the dollar.  Instead, she completely flew off the handle, made an absolute scene, made the OP feel about an inch tall and was the one to 'ruin' the wedding, not the OP.

In retrospect, the OP should have just put the dollar away in her purse or pocket and Mom would never have been the wiser.
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Yvaine

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Re: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry
« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2012, 11:28:17 AM »
I agree that the uncle was not at fault here.  The OP knew he was joking.

OK, I can see that. It all depends on whether the uncle knew whether the child would know it was a joke, and it sounds like he probably did, so no foul there. I think I'm projecting some people I've known who would give no indication that they were joking and then do a "gotcha" later.

NyaChan

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Re: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry
« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2012, 11:59:58 AM »
This actually happened to a cousin of mine at a wedding.  At our weddings a small package of almonds, crystalized sugar, and candy are passed out to the guests, and Cousin had been given a basket to take around.  His dad, a well known jokester, told him to charge the guests for the favors.  Well Cousin was really young, maybe 5/6 & actually went around charging people.  Came back after a bit really excited and showed his dad $5 in loose change/dollars.  His dad looked shocked for a moment, and then told Cousin he had been kidding and he couldn't believe that Cousin had actually gone around and asked for money.  To his credit, he did so while half-laughing to show he wasn't angry and apologized that he hadn't been clear that he was kidding.  He told Cousin to see if he could give the money back to people & explain, but no one would take money from such a cute kid  ;)

Emmy

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Re: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry
« Reply #7 on: February 27, 2012, 01:05:11 PM »
This story makes me very angry.  I feel very bad for the OP.  The mom completely flew off the handle, didn't listen to the poor girl, and lied to her to guilt trip her by saying she ruined the wedding.  To make it even worse, she had her little tirade in front of other people which must have been very humiliating for the poor girl.  Even if a child did do something wrong, a good parent would pull them aside to reprimand them and not subject them to public humilation.   

Of course the mom only decides to keep her mouth shut when it comes to telling the true story of what happened.  How unfair that OP's extended family thinks she was the one hustling at the wedding all those years ago.  I don't think the uncle was at fault for causing the problem (the mom is at fault for that), but I would put blame on him if he knew the extended family thought the OP was hustling and didn't explain what actually happened.

DottyG

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Re: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry
« Reply #8 on: February 27, 2012, 03:47:25 PM »
I agree that the uncle wasn't at fault.  The OP clearly knew they were joking with each other.

I also wanted to comment on this as a tangent:

Quote
he probably just wanted to 'tip' the little girl stuck at the signing table

We've had a thread on this before in the past.  I know it might not be something that's done outside the Southern US (or even just in the part of the Southern US that I'm in), but the little girl probably wasn't "stuck" at the table.  She was a part of the "house party" of the wedding.  It's as much of an honor to be a part of that as it is to be asked to be other parts of the wedding party - bridesmaid, groomsman, usher, etc.
« Last Edit: February 27, 2012, 03:49:39 PM by DottyG »

Jones

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Re: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry
« Reply #9 on: February 27, 2012, 06:52:02 PM »
I agree that the uncle wasn't at fault.  The OP clearly knew they were joking with each other.

I also wanted to comment on this as a tangent:

Quote
he probably just wanted to 'tip' the little girl stuck at the signing table

We've had a thread on this before in the past.  I know it might not be something that's done outside the Southern US (or even just in the part of the Southern US that I'm in), but the little girl probably wasn't "stuck" at the table.  She was a part of the "house party" of the wedding.  It's as much of an honor to be a part of that as it is to be asked to be other parts of the wedding party - bridesmaid, groomsman, usher, etc.

We do that in my neck of the woods too (Rocky Mountains in the US).

I feel for the 10 year old, as someone who was accused of doing something she didn't and not allowed to explain herself; I had that problem when I was a kid. Now I am accused of giving too much trust and leeway to my daughter, as I always listen to her side of everything. Suffice to say I can live with those allegations.

Hollanda

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Re: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2012, 11:28:01 AM »
Are you sure this is not my mother?! Seriously, this sounds like the stunt she'd pull. I used to joke about with people at that age, too (10 is a great age to start testing out your sense of humour). My mother didn't think it was funny, despite my brother and Dad thinking I was extremely funny.  Example here - nothing to do with a wedding. I washed a neighbour's car with her DD. The mum gave us £1 each for helping. I took it home, so proud of myself...my mother flew off the handle and insisted I take. It. Back. Right now. And made me promise (after a smack on the bottom) that I would never, repeat never, take money from her friends or anyone else, again.  Needless to say, I didn't.  I was kept in the house for the rest of the week, which was the remainder of the summer...I remember winter started the week after, so I couldn't go outside to play even though I was allowed to (it was too wet and windy for me to want to).

Back on topic, I really feel for the OP. I, too, burst into humiliated tears and ended up feeling I had done something unforgivable and unpardonable by helping a neighbour with a task and getting a reward for it.  :( It's so sad. I hope that girl's mother realised after the event that she was too harsh. Weddings are stressful events, but there is no need to react like that!
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JocelynCS

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Re: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry
« Reply #11 on: March 09, 2012, 12:22:45 PM »
Unfortunately, there are parents in this world who will take out their stress on their children because the children are powerless to stand up to it.  Sounds like this is what Mom was doing here - unloading on her defenseless daughter since she couldn't scream at someone else. 

My mother used to do that - scream herself purple for something relatively minor until I just stood there and sobbed.  She'd rave like a lunatic until she got her stress out of her system.  Episodes like that leave a scar that never fully heals. 


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Re: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry
« Reply #12 on: March 10, 2012, 11:45:58 AM »
I think someone should have put Mom in time out. Poor kid.
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Re: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry
« Reply #13 on: March 16, 2012, 09:42:04 AM »
My mother used to do that - scream herself purple for something relatively minor until I just stood there and sobbed.  She'd rave like a lunatic until she got her stress out of her system.  Episodes like that leave a scar that never fully heals.

Talk about a flashback!  My mum did this too.  Fun, huh?

As for that poor kid, I think it's even worse that not only did her mom do this to her, but she must have spread her version around the family as they all believe the kid was hustling people for money.  I know (from personal experience - thanks again, Mum!) that it makes it hard to deal with your family when they're believing the worst of you due to lies your own mother is spreading around.  I wouldn't be surprised if the original poster has issues with her family and they're all just thinking she's an awkward person to deal with. >:(

CaffeineKatie

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Re: Wicked Witches Of Wedding: Way To Go Mom, Make A Ten-Year-Old Cry
« Reply #14 on: April 27, 2012, 09:55:36 PM »
Oh lordy, is this scenario familiar!  My mom used to do the same kind of thing to me, frequently.  It's 50 years later, and I'm still don't trust her; being routinely belittled and thrown under the bus does make lasting scars.  That poor child...