BG: Our marriage has been really rough the last several months, but we are working on improving. We are going to begin marriage counseling next month, but in the meantime I'd like some perspective on this issue.
On Mondays, DH and I have about half an hour together after work before we leave for a family dinner, and afterwards he has a weekly xbox night. So the half hour after work plus ten minutes in the car is our only conversation time.
When I got home today, DH gave me a halfhearted hug and said hi, and then he went off to the bedroom. I waited a few minutes but he did not reappear, so I went to look for him and he was laying on the bed. He said he was tired. I tried to ask him about his day and he gave me grumpy one-word answers, so I decided to leave him alone.
I took our son outside to play and when I came in a few minutes later, DH was cleaning his gun (so I guess he wasn't *that* tired?) but he was still unwilling to converse with me. We left for dinner and we talked briefly in the car, although it's extremely hard to have a conversation in the car with our chatterbox toddler in the backseat. We did not get to talk at all during dinner
Just before he left for his xbox night, he asked what was wrong with me. I explained that his aloofness all evening had hurt my feelings. He said he was tired. I said "I know, but it still hurt my feelings that you grumped at me and ignored me." He repeated, "I. Was. Tired." I said okay, told him goodbye and said "I love you". He left without saying anything.
Was it unreasonable for me to expect a few minutes of conversation, even if he was tired, since I barely get to see him tonight? How do you act towards your spouse/SO when you are tired after a long day's work, and what do you expect of your spouse?