News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • November 20, 2017, 03:41:56 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: How to handle a mentally challenged person.  (Read 8753 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Slartibartfast

  • Member
  • Posts: 10783
    • Nerdy Necklaces - my Etsy shop!
Re: How to handle a mentally challenged person.
« Reply #15 on: February 22, 2012, 03:26:49 PM »
I'd actually make the letter more about how she's impacting you personally:

"Dear Management,

I'm writing because one particular gym member has become a serious detriment to other people's ability to use the gym.  Suzie Lastname is at the gym all day, seemingly every day, and she frequently disrupts classes.  I don't mind saying hi to her on occasion when I come in the door, but part of the reason I use YourGym is being able to enjoy the wonderful facilities in peace.  She also frequently comes into classes such as the X class and the Y class and talks, despite not enrolling or participating in the class in any way.  The instructor of the X class, Soandso, has asked her on numerous occasions to stop interrupting because she is preventing the class from being able to function, but nothing seem to be getting done.

She is also disruptive in the locker rooms, frequently touching other gym members inappropriately (on one occasion I watched her kiss another woman on the mouth).  She also flashes her undergarments at people on occasion and won't leave people alone while they're changing their clothes.  I'm sure you understand why this is uncomfortable for everyone, and why it could be costing you members without you realizing it.

I love going to YourGym, but I will be letting my membership lapse if nothing is done about Suzie.  I fully stand by her right to use the gym, just like any other adult, but it's unreasonable to expect all your other customers to put up with her behavior regardless of her disabilities.  I look forward to hearing back from you and seeing some changes within the next few weeks."

MrTango

  • Member
  • Posts: 2756
Re: How to handle a mentally challenged person.
« Reply #16 on: February 22, 2012, 03:30:00 PM »
I'd actually make the letter more about how she's impacting you personally:

"Dear Management,

I'm writing because one particular gym member has become a serious detriment to other people's ability to use the gym.  Suzie Lastname is at the gym all day, seemingly every day, and she frequently disrupts classes.  I don't mind saying hi to her on occasion when I come in the door, but part of the reason I use YourGym is being able to enjoy the wonderful facilities in peace.  She also frequently comes into classes such as the X class and the Y class and talks, despite not enrolling or participating in the class in any way.  The instructor of the X class, Soandso, has asked her on numerous occasions to stop interrupting because she is preventing the class from being able to function, but nothing seem to be getting done.

She is also disruptive in the locker rooms, frequently touching other gym members inappropriately (on one occasion I watched her kiss another woman on the mouth).  She also flashes her undergarments at people on occasion and won't leave people alone while they're changing their clothes.  I'm sure you understand why this is uncomfortable for everyone, and why it could be costing you members without you realizing it.

I love going to YourGym, but I will be letting my membership lapse if nothing is done about Suzie.  I fully stand by her right to use the gym, just like any other adult, but it's unreasonable to expect all your other customers to put up with her behavior regardless of her disabilities.  I look forward to hearing back from you and seeing some changes within the next few weeks."

I like this letter, except for the second sentance in the last paragraph.  The woman's behavior is the issue, not her disability.

ellasaunt

  • Member
  • Posts: 101
Re: How to handle a mentally challenged person.
« Reply #17 on: February 22, 2012, 04:50:34 PM »
In this instance, I believe that it would be in Susie's best interest for the management to contact Social Services about abandonment and neglect. Honestly, who leaves someone who needs supervision in a gym all day every day?

Jaelle

  • Member
  • Posts: 1495
Re: How to handle a mentally challenged person.
« Reply #18 on: February 22, 2012, 05:09:50 PM »
OP, you're not being a big meanie.

And I say this as the parent of a child with Down Syndrome.

And I'm making another solemn vow that this will never be my child. While every person is different, people with developmental disabilities can still learn manners. DS1 is 7 and knows better than to do any of that!  :o
“She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

bah12

  • Member
  • Posts: 6858
Re: How to handle a mentally challenged person.
« Reply #19 on: February 22, 2012, 05:12:26 PM »
I'm lost.  Does Susie work out at the gym at all?  Her parents just leave her there all day because it's cheaper than hiring adult supervision?

I wouldn't want to be a member of a gym that allows that.

I would write a letter similar to below:

Dear Management,

I'm writing to bring to your attention that gym member Susie Lastname is disrupting other members ability to work out and use the gym facilities safely and peacefully.  Examples include:

1. On Date: Ms. Lastname touched me inappropriately in the locker room. I've witnessed her doing this to other gym members on dates x, y, and z and on several other occasions.

2. On Date: Disrupted X class causing us to lose 20 minutes of class time.  She does not participate in these classes.

3. On Dates X, Y, and Z: Cried and screamed because other gym members weren't saying "hello" to her as they walked through the door.

4. Other behavior
5. Other behavior


Ms. Lastname is in the gym every time I attend, regardless of time of day or day of the week.  I have never witnessed her working out or using the gym facilities.  I have brought this to the attention of gym staff on X, Y and Z dates; however, staff has been hesitant to work to resolve this issue and diminish the disruption to all gym members.

At the end of the month, I will not renew my gym membership due to the lack of attention this serious issue has gotten in the past X months/years.   

Sincerely,
Yourname.

I agree to just leave out the disability.  It shouldn't be relevant.  Gym management needs to account for the safety of all customers...not allow one to be this disruptive at will.  I also agree that her parents should be told that if she's not working out and if she can't control her behavior, she can't be in the gym.  If the parents aren't willing to handle this, then I agree with calling social services the next time she gets out of hand and poses a safety risk to everyone else.

Piratelvr1121

  • Member
  • Posts: 9123
Re: How to handle a mentally challenged person.
« Reply #20 on: February 22, 2012, 05:26:51 PM »
Honestly? I would not stay a member in that gym.

WHen the owners allowed her to molest other members, destroy property and force a valued employee to quit, they were tellling everyone "We are too afraid of this woman's parents to do anything about this. Our terror of a lawsuit is more important than any desire to make the gym pleasant for anyone else." They won't do anything. I'd vote with my feet, and find somewhere that I could exercise in peace.

POD. I'd be voting with my feet, too.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

baglady

  • Member
  • Posts: 5061
  • A big lass and a bonny lass and she loves her beer
Re: How to handle a mentally challenged person.
« Reply #21 on: February 22, 2012, 05:30:29 PM »
If this woman is in her 40s, her parents may be unaware of the services that are available to people with developmental disabilities, because they weren't around when she was growing up. Back then, it was either go it alone or put the child in some capital-I Institution. Today we have group homes, job programs, all kinds of options. And depending on where you live, they may be less expensive than a gym membership ... or even be covered by a government program.

I don't know if there is a way to suggest this to the parents (and I'm not suggesting that the OP be the one to do it) without making this about her disability. But someone needs to do it. I'd start by banning her from the gym, letting the threats of litigation fall where they may, and finding a way to nudge the parents to explore other options for her care. It's time they started doing that, since they won't be around forever.
My photography is on Redbubble! Come see: http://www.redbubble.com/people/baglady

Wordgeek

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 2407
Re: How to handle a mentally challenged person.
« Reply #22 on: February 22, 2012, 06:12:44 PM »
Insofar as this is an etiquette issue, the matter has been sufficiently addressed.

Best wishes to the OP.


Sorry, this topic is locked. Only admins and moderators can reply.