General Etiquette > Etiquette Hell Classics

Bad Relatives: Evil MIL

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I think the point of mentioning taking in the other children was that she said she got professional portraits done of them and sent to the MIL.  *Those*, apparently, were put up, because she mentions that the MIL had pictures of "all her other grandchildren."  So she's pointing out that it's not that the MIL is refusing to accept the portraits she sends, but that the MIL is refusing to display a portrait of her son, presumably because of his race.

I have to wonder where your husband is in all of this?  How could he not know that you were not eating?  There were only 16 people at the event, 14 of whom received food.  Your husband did not notice you were not eating?  You were not sitting by him?  Why did you not say something to him?  If this has been going on for some time, your husband cannot be unaware of this situation, especially when you state that there are no pictures of his/your son up in grandma's home, grandparents give said grandchild no gifts what so ever.  Is your husband completely clueless.

Your MIL sounds like a real winner, but the person I see at fault here is your husband for letting this treatment by his mother continue of his wife and child. 

Your husband needs to step up to the plate and stand up for his family, you and your son. 

If not, my son and I would not be travelling to my inlaws any longer to be treated like dirt.  Let your husband go alone.

Maybe the first part of the story was included to show that MIL had no trouble with the Asian LW when she was looking after the white (I assume) grandkids, but somehow producing a half-Asian grandchild made both her and the child unwelcome in the family.

It almost seems like she's being punished for "allowing" her genes to contribute to the creation of MIL's grandchild.

I wonder if the OP adds the part about caring for BIL's daughter's children to show that she selflessly took on a huge responsibility that nobody else in that family was willing or able to take on themselves.  It may come across as bragging, but I think the OP just wanted to illustrate that she gladly accepted and made sacrifices to take care of DH's family.  After the OP took good care of children from her husband's side, the heinous treatment of her and her child by her MIL seems even worse.

This story is difficult to believe.  I hope it is not true, I hate to believe people can be that mean.

Perfect Circle:
Unfortunately I have a relative who doesn't consider a cousin's wife to be part of the family because she is foreign. I pointed out that in that case neither is my husband or my daughter - they are also foreign. Never heard another peep about it.

I hope the letter writer never went back on her word about visiting or seeing these people. I cannot imagine anything more hurtful than being shunned by people who are supposed to care about you.


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