Cell Phone/Texting Rudeness

[Twik]

Cosmonia, that's fine - as long as you don't mind being considered rude by other people, some of whom you may, at some point, want to consider you to be a non-rude person.

[Cosmasia]

Cosmonia, that's fine - as long as you don't mind being considered rude by other people, some of whom you may, at some point, want to consider you to be a non-rude person.

If people want to consider me rude for that then they can go right ahead I don't consider it rude.

[jaxsue]

This past week I had the pleasure of sitting in a dr's waiting room for 3 hrs (no exaggeration) and hearing a woman's loud cell phone conversation almost the entire time. I wasn't the only one bothered by it, judging by others' reactions.

She had a voice that cut through everything else - the music piped over the intercom, other conversations, etc. it was really, really, annoying.

She was no young thing, either. She appeared to be in her 60s. 

[SisJackson]

I have actually said to people who commit #1:  "Is this a bad time?  Perhaps we should get together some other day."  If they protest, I say lightly, "Oh, I don't want to interrupt what you're doing with your phone there."  In general, it's been enough to get them to realize what they're doing and they put the phone away.

As for texting-while-walking, Mr. J says there's now a "solution" for this:

http://threewordchant.com/2009/05/28/see-through-iphone-app-for-texting-while-walking/

(Read the blurb, it's pretty entertaining.)

[Allyson]

I will admit, my friends and I all do limited versions of 1) but only amongst each other. If I knew someone didn't like it I would turn my phone off in a second, but if I'm having coffee with my friend and he's occasionally texting and so am I, I don't think either of us are being rude to the other. We are, though, mostly interacting with each other, with the occasional text in conversational breaks. I really wouldn't be all right with someone who ignored me for their phone, but I honestly barely notice most of the texting that happens around me.

I did 2) once or twice, ran into a bus stop. Do not do that anymore.

I really dislike 3) because it makes me feel awkward. I don't care about swearing, but loud fighting and yelling is awful. I was on the bus one time with someone having a very angry phone conversation with their service provider. It lasted my entire commute, about half an hour, and he was angrily aggressive and almost scary at times.

[jaxsue]

My X-DH was a chronic texter. He was in IT so was often on call. Still, when you're out on a romantic date with your wife and you text more than converse that's rude (FTR, they were not emergency situations). It was particularly embarrassing when other diners noticed and gave me pitying looks.

One night out I'd had enough. I told him if he picked up his phone 1 more time I'd throw it in the river! He got the point.

[JennJenn68]

Answering the phone for anything except emergencies... rude, in my opinion.

And yes, I mean "emergency" in the strictest sense.  The fact that you've been waiting to hear what your best girlfriend did with her date the other night does not, to me, constitute an emergency in my books.  The babysitter calls?  Of course you answer!  Work calls?  (One of my best friends works in international IT.)  Of course you answer.  Spouse calls?  Depends.  In that situation, I would excuse myself briefly and tell my husband, "I'm busy right now.  Can this wait?"  (I don't have voicemail.  To me it's not worth the extra $ a month.)  He would understand.  And then I'd cut him loose until an appropriate pause in the conversation.

As in retail, the customer in front of you deserves your full attention.  I am tired of people pretending that catching up on gossip qualifies as an "emergency".  And don't get me started on people texting while walking... or driving... except to say that, eventually, this will result in Darwinism at its nastiest.

[MacadamiaNut]

All three things are annoying to me but the first one is my real pet peeve.  I find it utterly rude if it's not for a specific reason such as emergency or checking for people who will be meeting us, etc.  The thing I find hardest to deal with is when people just silently start checking their phone without even a word like, "Can you excuse me just one second, I have to check this." so you're just left sitting there in awkward silence.  And then no acknowledgement or "sorry" either after they have finally pried themselves away from the phone and returned to paying attention.   

[NyaChan]

This is something that really upsets me, but my family seems to disagree - what do you guys think?

If I am watching something on tv, and a cell goes off, a family member just picks up and either walks over to where I am watching and starts talking, or is already sitting there and just picks up their cell and doesn't move from the couch.  I find that to be rude to me since that means I can either turn off the tv, turn down the volume for their sake and strain to hear, or be passive aggressive and turn up the volume until the phone user gets up to leave.  Ok not the last one really, but you get the idea.  I usually ask them if they can go to another room and the person who picks up the phone usually gives me this pained look like they are shocked that they have to get up and leave - Am I unreasonable or are they?

[Fleur-de-Lis]

This is something that really upsets me, but my family seems to disagree - what do you guys think?

If I am watching something on tv, and a cell goes off, a family member just picks up and either walks over to where I am watching and starts talking, or is already sitting there and just picks up their cell and doesn't move from the couch.  I find that to be rude to me since that means I can either turn off the tv, turn down the volume for their sake and strain to hear, or be passive aggressive and turn up the volume until the phone user gets up to leave.  Ok not the last one really, but you get the idea.  I usually ask them if they can go to another room and the person who picks up the phone usually gives me this pained look like they are shocked that they have to get up and leave - Am I unreasonable or are they?

My household solves this by using TiVo - the television has a perfectly good pause button.

Absent that, in my opinion, the polite thing is for the person receiving the call to remove themselves from the television room, so their conversation does not interrupt the enjoyment of others. 

[NyaChan]

This is something that really upsets me, but my family seems to disagree - what do you guys think?

If I am watching something on tv, and a cell goes off, a family member just picks up and either walks over to where I am watching and starts talking, or is already sitting there and just picks up their cell and doesn't move from the couch.  I find that to be rude to me since that means I can either turn off the tv, turn down the volume for their sake and strain to hear, or be passive aggressive and turn up the volume until the phone user gets up to leave.  Ok not the last one really, but you get the idea.  I usually ask them if they can go to another room and the person who picks up the phone usually gives me this pained look like they are shocked that they have to get up and leave - Am I unreasonable or are they?

My household solves this by using TiVo - the television has a perfectly good pause button.

Absent that, in my opinion, the polite thing is for the person receiving the call to remove themselves from the television room, so their conversation does not interrupt the enjoyment of others. 

Ok maybe I am the unreasonable one then, we do have the option to pause, stop, rewind, etc.  but I just feel like I am doing something that can only be done in that spot and they have a cell - the whole point of which is to allow a person to talk and move at the same time.  Guess I'll have to start giving in...

[Fleur-de-Lis]

This is something that really upsets me, but my family seems to disagree - what do you guys think?

If I am watching something on tv, and a cell goes off, a family member just picks up and either walks over to where I am watching and starts talking, or is already sitting there and just picks up their cell and doesn't move from the couch.  I find that to be rude to me since that means I can either turn off the tv, turn down the volume for their sake and strain to hear, or be passive aggressive and turn up the volume until the phone user gets up to leave.  Ok not the last one really, but you get the idea.  I usually ask them if they can go to another room and the person who picks up the phone usually gives me this pained look like they are shocked that they have to get up and leave - Am I unreasonable or are they?

My household solves this by using TiVo - the television has a perfectly good pause button.

Absent that, in my opinion, the polite thing is for the person receiving the call to remove themselves from the television room, so their conversation does not interrupt the enjoyment of others. 

Ok maybe I am the unreasonable one then, we do have the option to pause, stop, rewind, etc.  but I just feel like I am doing something that can only be done in that spot and they have a cell - the whole point of which is to allow a person to talk and move at the same time.  Guess I'll have to start giving in...

Well.. saying, "Do you mind taking your call elsewhere; I'm trying to watch this," might also be an option.

However, pausing the show is an extra courtesy to the other person, if they are also watching the show - it lets them have both the conversation and not miss any of the show, and you get to feel you have the high ground both in having extended an extra courtesy to them and in not having had your experience diminished. 

[whatsanenigma]

Personally, I don't mind it if somebody is talking on the phone while walking, as long as they are paying attention to where they are going.  I will sometimes talk and walk at the same time, to save time, but when I do I am always even more careful than usual when crossing streets, etc.  It's no more rude than listening to headphones, I think, as long as you're paying enough attention to the world around you so as to not inconvience others. 

I think that texting while walking is really rude, though, because it's almost impossible, as far as I can tell, to text without looking down at your phone.  If you're texting while walking, it's almost a given that you are not looking up at all times to see if you are about to run into somebody or if a car is going to run you over or what.  I've seen way too many close calls when someone has been jaywalking while texting and a car has had to slam on the brakes, for example. It seems much easier to get locked into your "own little world" and to therefore cause others to have to go out of their way to watch out for you.

[hannahmollysmom]

Personally, I don't mind it if somebody is talking on the phone while walking, as long as they are paying attention to where they are going.  I will sometimes talk and walk at the same time, to save time, but when I do I am always even more careful than usual when crossing streets, etc.  It's no more rude than listening to headphones, I think, as long as you're paying enough attention to the world around you so as to not inconvience others. 

I think that texting while walking is really rude, though, because it's almost impossible, as far as I can tell, to text without looking down at your phone.  If you're texting while walking, it's almost a given that you are not looking up at all times to see if you are about to run into somebody or if a car is going to run you over or what.  I've seen way too many close calls when someone has been jaywalking while texting and a car has had to slam on the brakes, for example. It seems much easier to get locked into your "own little world" and to therefore cause others to have to go out of their way to watch out for you.

Exactly what I meant. I don't care if you are walking and texting, but if other people have to watch out for you, then it is rude. I believe you should be aware of your surroundings at all times as not everyone is going to be looking out for you. For example: Anyone remember the video of the girl falling into the mall fountain while texting?

[MacadamiaNut]

Yes, I remember that fountain video, but worse than that, I remember the girl here who got hit by a streetcar because she wasn't looking when crossing the street while texting.  It was very sad to have a death over something like that.

It's the same as wearing coats with the furry hoods.  You MUST always see your peripheral vision.  Make it a point to turn your body and see what's coming before crossing, whether you're jaywalking or not!  Accidents happen!!!!