Author Topic: Invitees not RSVP-ing  (Read 1714 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

RingTailedLemur

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2847
  • Rudeness is a small person's imitation of power.
Invitees not RSVP-ing
« on: March 04, 2012, 11:16:42 AM »
I'm planning an event and sent invitations about 6 weeks ago, and am spending today chasing RSVPs.  I must admit I am very frustrated.

How many times can I badger people for their RSVP?

Is there any polite way to tell someone, "You didn't RSVP, you can't come"?  If not, what do I do if they show up at the party without RSVP-ing?  An inaccurate headcount could get me into trouble with the club I am hosting this at (I am a member).

Help!

camlan

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8728
Re: Invitees not RSVP-ing
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2012, 11:20:31 AM »
Did you give them a deadline for RSVPing? If you did, you should wait until 2 or 3 days after the dealine before contacting them.

If you didn't, I"d make one call. Ask them if they are coming or not and if they can't give you a straight yes or no at this point, tell them that you need an accurate head count, so you'll take their indicission as a "no" and you are sorry that they can't make it. If you get their voice mail, leave the same message, but add, "If I don't hear from you by [specific time] on [specific date], I'm afraid I'll have to put you down as unable to attend." And give them at least 24 hours to respond.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


QueenofAllThings

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2921
Re: Invitees not RSVP-ing
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2012, 11:24:13 AM »
I never understand people who do this - terribly inconsiderate and frustrating.

When is the event - next weekend? Unless it is a wedding or a big black-tie gala, seven weeks out may be too much time (not that that excuses the behavior, but that's a long time for an RSVP window).

I think one reminder/request is sufficient. If you still don't hear from them, assume they aren't coming. If there is a seated meal, do not set a place for them - no place card, no name tag, etc. If it is more of a cocktail function, again, no name tag, but it's less of a big deal if they show up - the venue can't be too upset over 3-4 more people (or less; some who said 'yes' may not show).

It's not very polite of me, but I've been known to greet people who showed up without RSVPing with a "Oh, I wasn't expecting you! Nice to see you. Excuse me - I see the cat's on fire."


RingTailedLemur

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2847
  • Rudeness is a small person's imitation of power.
Re: Invitees not RSVP-ing
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2012, 11:27:36 AM »
Did you give them a deadline for RSVPing? If you did, you should wait until 2 or 3 days after the dealine before contacting them.

Yes - the RSVP date was last week.

If you didn't, I"d make one call. Ask them if they are coming or not and if they can't give you a straight yes or no at this point, tell them that you need an accurate head count, so you'll take their indicission as a "no" and you are sorry that they can't make it. If you get their voice mail, leave the same message, but add, "If I don't hear from you by [specific time] on [specific date], I'm afraid I'll have to put you down as unable to attend." And give them at least 24 hours to respond.

Thanks.

I've already sent out a bunch of "are you coming?" messages - if I don't get responses from people withing a week or two I'll use your "I'm afraid I'll have to put you down as unable to attend" wording.

RingTailedLemur

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2847
  • Rudeness is a small person's imitation of power.
Re: Invitees not RSVP-ing
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2012, 11:28:38 AM »
I never understand people who do this - terribly inconsiderate and frustrating.

When is the event - next weekend? Unless it is a wedding or a big black-tie gala, seven weeks out may be too much time (not that that excuses the behavior, but that's a long time for an RSVP window).

I think one reminder/request is sufficient. If you still don't hear from them, assume they aren't coming. If there is a seated meal, do not set a place for them - no place card, no name tag, etc. If it is more of a cocktail function, again, no name tag, but it's less of a big deal if they show up - the venue can't be too upset over 3-4 more people (or less; some who said 'yes' may not show).

It's not very polite of me, but I've been known to greet people who showed up without RSVPing with a "Oh, I wasn't expecting you! Nice to see you. Excuse me - I see the cat's on fire."

The event isn't for a few weeks, but the venue wants catering numbers by 4 weeks in advance.

Thank you - I am glad someone agrees that it is annoying!

Shoo

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 16393
Re: Invitees not RSVP-ing
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2012, 12:08:49 PM »
I think you send one more message.  "I'm sorry we'll miss you at ________.  Perhaps we'll see you some other time."