Author Topic: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?  (Read 3516 times)

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3angels

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Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« on: March 04, 2012, 12:49:23 PM »
I have a family member that will often carry on full conversations with people on a Facebook post, their's and other people's. Most times the conversation has nothing to do with the original post and will extend to 30+ posts. When she does this on my status updates, would it be rude to delete the posts when they finish the conversation or should I just re-post my status update on a new post?

Minmom3

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Re: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2012, 01:02:47 PM »
Why let it go on that long in the first place?  It's YOUR wall, clean it up if you don't like what somebody posts!  Don't give explanations (unless they come after you later), just take the thing down when it become apparent that it's going in a direction you don't like, or consider bad.
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Perfect Circle

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Re: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2012, 01:51:17 PM »
Absolutely not rude and no reason to tolerated for that long either.

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maybe he's caught in the mood
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Hollanda

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Re: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2012, 01:54:24 PM »
No. Well I hope not. I do it all the time. If someone is getting contentious, I delete. I have been accused of deleting every time someone disagrees with me - untrue. I delete if someone makes the argument stupidly personal or accuses me falsely of something due to my views (for example). I don't want the world to see me that.  It's my wall, my rules. There are things I don't tolerate and that is my choice. People have the freedom to put whatever they want on FB...I therefore exercise my freedom to remove!
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Auntie Mame

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Re: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2012, 05:26:34 PM »
It's my facebook wall and I will happily delete anyone who is annoying me or being rude.
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Pinky830

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Re: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2012, 07:14:00 PM »
I have an in-law who routinely posts obnoxious comments or total non sequiturs on my thread quite a bit. I delete them every time.

TealDragon

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Re: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2012, 04:35:22 AM »
I very freely delete wall posts or comments that I think are out of place. Usually, it only happens with two people. The first is an old college friend with a wild streak and a rather blue sense of humor. She's a great pal, but I'm Facebook friends with my mother, grandmother, young cousins, and students (I teach horse riding lessons to kids). She's asked me why I've deleted and I told her honestly (but still friendly) that I just didn't think that would fly in the eyes of dear old Gram Grams and others. On that note, some of my older family members don't always understand how comments work, particularly my one aunt, and she recently started up a conversation with me about how work was going and whether or not I had ever managed to get some stains out of some clothes in the middle of a rather heated political debate. I simply deleted her comment and replied in a personal message and it was no big deal.

So to sum up, it's my wall, I say what goes. If it's inappropriate, it's gone, if it's simply out of place, I try to redirect. I've also been on the other end of it, where I commented on a friend's status and she had someone have a big long conversation with her. This was before Facebook changed how their notifications work and you'd get a notification for every comment and I woke up the next day with 20-some notifications which continued all day and constantly alerted me on me phone at work. In that case, I deleted my comment to get out of the notifications. I don't think that's rude either.

DaDancingPsych

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Re: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2012, 04:23:17 PM »
I agree, your wall, delete away!

I recently posted a cutesy message on my BF's wall for Valentine's Day. We are rarely publicly affectionate, so I was really proud of my little posts. An annoying mutual friend posted an off topic reply to my message. I was upset about it, as I somehow felt it ruined my one public announcement of my love. And while I am sure that I would have gotten over myself and realized that it didn't matter... that wonderful boyfriend just deleted the unneeded message.   :)

I think that your FB wall works just like the posts here and as the moderator, you have the right to do as you please!

SisJackson

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Re: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2012, 04:39:29 PM »
You know, I might be tempted to create two identical statuses every time - one that is only viewable to this particular family member, and another viewable to everyone but her.  Then it would be impossible for her to conduct a conversation with anyone but you (since nobody will be able to see her comments on the status only she can see.)  She'd just think you suddenly became very unpopular, if nobody is commenting on any of your posts but her.   :D

But really, that's a lot of work to just keep the peace.  By deleting comments, you may end up with some fallout, but if you deal with that politely if and when it happens, no big deal.  Facebook is not real life.  You can put a dead stop to a conversation on your turf without the use of bean dip by removing the offending posts.  It's abrupt and some people may not like it, but it's Facebook-appropriate.

MrTango

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Re: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« Reply #9 on: March 05, 2012, 05:14:19 PM »
Rather than go to the trouble of having to delete her posts, why not just put her on limited profile.  That way, she won't be able to see your posts (and therefore won't be able to comment on them).

JenJay

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Re: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2012, 09:48:34 PM »
I think 3angels means this lady will just converse in general with someone else who responded to 3angels' status update, not that she responds with something rude. It doesn't sound like 3angels wants to block or gag her, just get her to stop using OP's wall as if it were her own. So, for example, 3angels posts "Had pizza for dinner - Yum!" and her friend Ann replies "Ooh thanks, now I want pizza, too!" and then this person will say "Ann! I haven't seen you in forever, how are you?" and their conversation takes off from there. Do I have that right?

What I'd do is PM the people involved and say "Hey guys, facebook is notifying me that I have a new reply to my status every time either of you replies to the other. Could you please take your conversation to your own walls? I'm going to go ahead and delete your posts because it's made my status really long and I have to scroll through it to browse my wall. Thanks!" Do that a time or two and she'll get the hint.  ;)
« Last Edit: March 10, 2012, 09:50:25 PM by JenJay »

misschristina

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Re: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« Reply #11 on: March 11, 2012, 02:26:59 PM »
What a GREAT topic!

I have grown so frustrated with my Facebook. I used to share witty, funny statuses (not too often, I wasnt the oversharer type!) and would upload comical, cutesy mobile pictures once in a while. Then a few guy friends of mine, whom are actually GREAT close friends for a LONG time now, started ''hijacking'' every single status or post I'd share on my wall. A recent example of this -- I wrote something about how fun it was to share photos on Instagram and how different it was from all those ''social media'' apps. Im a shutterbug and I love following great photographers and having a chance to update a photoblog that is exclusive to CELLPHONES vs. being on the web and a hassle to maintain. My status was informative and short.

One of said friends wrote a HUGE paragraph in reply to my status about how FUNNY it was that there was YET another app where we could SHARE, FOLLOW and be FOLLOWED and he proceeded to list 30 something apps where we can ''connect'' with other people and he feels these are all ''stupid'' (yet, he's on Facebook?!) His tone was sarcastic and condescending. Surprisingly, it wasn't really even about ME, or my POST, he just felt he had to make a ''point'' and he does this quite often. I deleted my status. I was so mad.

I have friends on FB whom I admire, and I feel silly when I know they can read these pointless ''smarty pants'' replies on my wall!

I wish I could just unfriend these people!

O'Dell

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Re: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« Reply #12 on: March 11, 2012, 02:49:29 PM »
I have a family member that will often carry on full conversations with people on a Facebook post, their's and other people's. Most times the conversation has nothing to do with the original post and will extend to 30+ posts. When she does this on my status updates, would it be rude to delete the posts when they finish the conversation or should I just re-post my status update on a new post?

I'm puzzled as to what bothers you about your relative's posting. Other people seem to enjoy conversing with her. Is it that she draws the focus away from you and your posts? Or do you object to what she discusses? Is she one of those people that makes everything about her? Something else? ???

You could hide all or some of your status updates from her or disable comments on your posts. Yes you have the ability and right to delete posts on your own FB wall, but that doesn't mean that you should or that there won't be consequences. If you delete her posts she likely will be hurt or offended and it might affect your relationship with her. It's your choice but you have to be willing to accept the consequences.
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starbuck

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Re: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« Reply #13 on: March 11, 2012, 03:23:39 PM »
What a GREAT topic!

I have grown so frustrated with my Facebook. I used to share witty, funny statuses (not too often, I wasnt the oversharer type!) and would upload comical, cutesy mobile pictures once in a while. Then a few guy friends of mine, whom are actually GREAT close friends for a LONG time now, started ''hijacking'' every single status or post I'd share on my wall. A recent example of this -- I wrote something about how fun it was to share photos on Instagram and how different it was from all those ''social media'' apps. Im a shutterbug and I love following great photographers and having a chance to update a photoblog that is exclusive to CELLPHONES vs. being on the web and a hassle to maintain. My status was informative and short.

One of said friends wrote a HUGE paragraph in reply to my status about how FUNNY it was that there was YET another app where we could SHARE, FOLLOW and be FOLLOWED and he proceeded to list 30 something apps where we can ''connect'' with other people and he feels these are all ''stupid'' (yet, he's on Facebook?!) His tone was sarcastic and condescending. Surprisingly, it wasn't really even about ME, or my POST, he just felt he had to make a ''point'' and he does this quite often. I deleted my status. I was so mad.

I have friends on FB whom I admire, and I feel silly when I know they can read these pointless ''smarty pants'' replies on my wall!

I wish I could just unfriend these people!

I have similar, a friend who responds in all seriousness to clearly snarky/fun/tongue in cheek posts.  Drives me BONKERS. Or she'll post something totally unrelated like, "hey are we on for lunch tomorrow?" or "How bout a coffee on Sunday?" Gah!

SisJackson

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Re: Is it rude to delete posts from a threadjacker?
« Reply #14 on: March 11, 2012, 03:51:24 PM »
I'm puzzled as to what bothers you about your relative's posting. Other people seem to enjoy conversing with her. Is it that she draws the focus away from you and your posts? Or do you object to what she discusses? Is she one of those people that makes everything about her? Something else? ???

I have a friend with relatives who hijack her statuses.  The main culprits are her mother and her aunt.  She'll post something innocuous about work or whatever, and her aunt will say something.  Then her mom will start talking to Aunt about other things.  The worst one was when Aunt and Mom started talking about their respective hysterectomies and other ladies' health issues.  My friend was appalled that something she felt should have been conducted in either a private conversation or at least on their own pages was being held on her wall in front of her friends, former schoolmates, and colleagues.  She just wanted to say, "Hey folks, my mom and Aunt Sue.  Aren't they great?  They'll be here for the rest of their lives, so sit back and enjoy."

I don't think it's about taking the focus off the Wall owner - it's more about remembering where you are and not having what should be a private tete-a-tete in front of a whole lot of strangers.