Author Topic: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!  (Read 3430 times)

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Twik

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #15 on: March 12, 2012, 11:43:54 AM »
It was nothing to do with politics  ??? I have just amended my privacy settings so neither of these two can respond to my posts. They can still see stuff I post, they just cannot respond.

That may be all that is needed for the moment.

It is odd, never had this issue before now, really! A couple of mutual friends have noticed and PMd me to tell me not to take it personally. So I know it is not just me.

I think this is appropriate.

In fact, if someone had publicly implied I was an "idiot" for my political leanings (and in a particularly passive-aggressive manner), I would defriend them immediately. That is not civil discourse, and does not have to be accepted. If they are RL friends, they should learn that they hurt your feelings, and should apologize. If they are not, then who wants to be bothered with boors?
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Hollanda

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #16 on: March 12, 2012, 02:08:21 PM »
Well, they apologised. In the end.

I am still considering defriending. I posted a nice status about looking forward to St Patricks Day. I received the following from Graeme:
Quote
as an Englishman i'll be ignoring totally and waiting for April 23rd

I thought "Ok." That irked me a little bit because again he was making something else out of what I had said. However, it was another "friend's" comments that really, really wound me up.
Quote
I am with Graham on that, also on Sunday the 22nd April will be the St Georges Day Celebration on St Peters Hill Grantham I expect to see you there ;-)

Now I didn't ask for any kind of debate. It is nobody's business what I celebrate or why.  These people's opinions matter not one jot to me and if it weren't for the fact I have been friends with Graeme for years and years, I would delete him like a shot.

*Tut* Offensive comments deleted.


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Twik

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #17 on: March 12, 2012, 02:44:46 PM »
I have to admit, the St. Patrick's Day comments seem like normal ribbing. You don't have to debate whether or not you're going to celebrate St. George's Day. If you don't feel like a "back atcha!" type response, just ignore.

And if your friends are bothering you so much online, perhaps you should, at least for the time being, hide their responses. The trouble with online interactions is that they come off differently than IRL. If you value your friendship with these fellows, a little hiding of their responses might keep you from getting irritated enough to break off the friendship in the real world.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Hollanda

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #18 on: March 12, 2012, 02:48:22 PM »
Just done that exact thing Twik. It irritates me.
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wolfie

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #19 on: March 12, 2012, 04:32:38 PM »
Well, they apologised. In the end.

I am still considering defriending. I posted a nice status about looking forward to St Patricks Day. I received the following from Graeme:
Quote
as an Englishman i'll be ignoring totally and waiting for April 23rd

I thought "Ok." That irked me a little bit because again he was making something else out of what I had said. However, it was another "friend's" comments that really, really wound me up.
Quote
I am with Graham on that, also on Sunday the 22nd April will be the St Georges Day Celebration on St Peters Hill Grantham I expect to see you there ;-)

Now I didn't ask for any kind of debate. It is nobody's business what I celebrate or why.  These people's opinions matter not one jot to me and if it weren't for the fact I have been friends with Graeme for years and years, I would delete him like a shot.

*Tut* Offensive comments deleted.

I don't understand what is offensive about those comments. Sound like a conversation that might happen on my facebook. I also don't know what St Georges Day celebrates, maybe that would make a difference. Isn't St. George the one who slew the dragon?

mechtilde

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #20 on: March 12, 2012, 04:37:54 PM »
^ St George is the patron saint of England. Yes, he was the one with the dragon.
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Kaypeep

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #21 on: March 12, 2012, 05:03:34 PM »
Well, they apologised. In the end.

I am still considering defriending. I posted a nice status about looking forward to St Patricks Day. I received the following from Graeme:
Quote
as an Englishman i'll be ignoring totally and waiting for April 23rd

I thought "Ok." That irked me a little bit because again he was making something else out of what I had said. However, it was another "friend's" comments that really, really wound me up.
Quote
I am with Graham on that, also on Sunday the 22nd April will be the St Georges Day Celebration on St Peters Hill Grantham I expect to see you there ;-)

Now I didn't ask for any kind of debate. It is nobody's business what I celebrate or why.  These people's opinions matter not one jot to me and if it weren't for the fact I have been friends with Graeme for years and years, I would delete him like a shot.

*Tut* Offensive comments deleted.

I don't see these replies as problematic at all.  You are posting about celebrating Irish pride and they remarked about celebrating their British pride.  I don't see it as instigating anything or trying to debate you.  It's simply a reply.  I think in this case, you are looking for offense where none was intended.   I see this being no different than if a friend posted about their Purim celebration and I replied with a comment about my Easter celebration.  I'm not debating or saying anything, we're just talking about our repsective holidays that fall around the same time.

shhh its me

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #22 on: March 12, 2012, 05:57:12 PM »
Could it possibly be a response to any posts that you've posted on their walls?  Sort of like a 'pay-back' or something?

ETA: I'm adding as I feel that was sort of beating around the bush to what I really wanted to say.   Please do not take this the wrong way, no malice intended, but I've noticed that throughout your pregnancy you were able to mention said pregnancy in quite a number of posts that had nothing to with the subject of babies and/or pregnancy.  It's been the same with your baby - the baby gets brought up an awful lot in posts.  I do understand how excited you were/are about the whole motherhood experience, but maybe your friends are using politics as a passive-aggressive way to express their feelings about all the baby talk.

This seems very convoluted......."Ha  one more baby picture and I shall vehemently argue politics"  doesn't seem the most likely thought process.  Also , what OP normally post is relative and effects the answer....  responding to 1001 baby picture of the day , with an unrealted "political rant" is just weird(on OP's FB)  I could see some PA responces  but politics don't even make the top 100.   BTW  I think OP is wrong , posting a news story about welfare is political.

OP  I would more carefully consider  which news stories  you post , anything  subject comes up in speeches. The more it comes up the less inflammatory a comment needs to be before a political discuss will follow.  Don't PM " I disagree"  that is discusing poltics , try "Let's not discuss politics" 

Minmom3

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #23 on: March 12, 2012, 09:39:58 PM »
Can't you also set your wall so that only your friends can post (or show?) friends of friends cannot?  I'm pretty sure I did that a while ago, because the commenting by people I don't know and don't give a rats behind about was annoying to me...
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wolfie

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #24 on: March 12, 2012, 09:43:48 PM »
^ St George is the patron saint of England. Yes, he was the one with the dragon.

ahh - so some of that makes more sense now. I also have a strange desire to host a St. George's day party with dragons and jousting.

Iris

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #25 on: March 13, 2012, 06:48:48 AM »
Well, they apologised. In the end.

I am still considering defriending. I posted a nice status about looking forward to St Patricks Day. I received the following from Graeme:
Quote
as an Englishman i'll be ignoring totally and waiting for April 23rd

I thought "Ok." That irked me a little bit because again he was making something else out of what I had said. However, it was another "friend's" comments that really, really wound me up.
Quote
I am with Graham on that, also on Sunday the 22nd April will be the St Georges Day Celebration on St Peters Hill Grantham I expect to see you there ;-)

Now I didn't ask for any kind of debate. It is nobody's business what I celebrate or why.  These people's opinions matter not one jot to me and if it weren't for the fact I have been friends with Graeme for years and years, I would delete him like a shot.

*Tut* Offensive comments deleted.

I don't see these replies as problematic at all.  You are posting about celebrating Irish pride and they remarked about celebrating their British pride.  I don't see it as instigating anything or trying to debate you.  It's simply a reply.  I think in this case, you are looking for offense where none was intended.   I see this being no different than if a friend posted about their Purim celebration and I replied with a comment about my Easter celebration.  I'm not debating or saying anything, we're just talking about our repsective holidays that fall around the same time.

I don't know. The second one actually seems like fairly normal back and forth to me, especially after the first reply, but the first one seems a bit ... unnecessary, if you kwim. It would depend on the original status.

For example if Hollanda posted "Really looking forward to St Pat's day! Does anyone have plans?" then she's ASKED what he'll be doing and the response would be appropriate.

HOWEVER, if the OP was "Really looking forward to St Pat's day! Planning to drink green beer with X and Y at Ye Olde Irish Pub! Woot!" then the response would strike me as snotty, unnecessary and a bit patronising. Nobody asked what he was doing and the tone would drag down a light-hearted post.

To be honest, it sounds as though this guy is simply getting on your nerves a bit at the moment. It can happen in the oldest friendships, especially when one of you goes through something life changing. You may just need to distance yourself a little for a while and try and reconnect later.
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still in va

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #26 on: March 13, 2012, 10:37:55 AM »
Could it possibly be a response to any posts that you've posted on their walls?  Sort of like a 'pay-back' or something?

ETA: I'm adding as I feel that was sort of beating around the bush to what I really wanted to say.   Please do not take this the wrong way, no malice intended, but I've noticed that throughout your pregnancy you were able to mention said pregnancy in quite a number of posts that had nothing to with the subject of babies and/or pregnancy.  It's been the same with your baby - the baby gets brought up an awful lot in posts.  I do understand how excited you were/are about the whole motherhood experience, but maybe your friends are using politics as a passive-aggressive way to express their feelings about all the baby talk.

This seems very convoluted......."Ha  one more baby picture and I shall vehemently argue politics"  doesn't seem the most likely thought process.  Also , what OP normally post is relative and effects the answer....  responding to 1001 baby picture of the day , with an unrealted "political rant" is just weird(on OP's FB)  I could see some PA responces  but politics don't even make the top 100.   BTW  I think OP is wrong , posting a news story about welfare is political.

OP  I would more carefully consider  which news stories  you post , anything  subject comes up in speeches. The more it comes up the less inflammatory a comment needs to be before a political discuss will follow.  Don't PM " I disagree"  that is discusing poltics , try "Let's not discuss politics"

why should Hollanda carefully consider what she posts to her wall?   it's her FB wall, she can post what she chooses.  perhaps the two people taking offense should block her feed so they don't see her posts.  and i would continue with the previous course of not allowing them to post if they don't stop.

TurtleDove

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #27 on: March 13, 2012, 11:13:05 AM »

why should Hollanda carefully consider what she posts to her wall?   

If the OP does not want to engage in political discussion, she should not initiate a political discussion, which in my opinion her post did.  She can post whatever she wants - that's a given.  So can everyone else.

Instantkarma

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #28 on: March 13, 2012, 11:22:01 AM »

why should Hollanda carefully consider what she posts to her wall?   

If the OP does not want to engage in political discussion, she should not initiate a political discussion, which in my opinion her post did.  She can post whatever she wants - that's a given.  So can everyone else.

i agree with turtledove! Im political party x i have lots of friend and family that are political party y sure i COULD post lots of pro x stuff on my wall but for the most part i dont because its just easier and i dont want to get into any well my party is better then your party nonesense

Twik

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Re: Facebook Friends Going A Little Political For My Taste!
« Reply #29 on: March 13, 2012, 11:23:15 AM »
I agree with TurtleDove. It's clear that political discussions aren't pleasing to the OP (at least on her wall, which is understandable). However, her friends are also clearly easily provoked into starting them. If she doesn't want to set up controls to prevent it, a wise move is to remember her friends' inclinations, and try to avoid posts that will rile them up.

ALthough mentioning St. Patrick's Day shouldn't be a hot button for most people.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."