Courtsmad25, I'm reading one thing -- that your friend won't be able to get the man she wants -- as the issue you're asking us to help you address, but I'm getting the sense that the thing you actually want to address is something different -- that you don't want to hear about her struggles anymore because you think she's doing it wrong.
Now, forgive me if I'm misunderstanding, but I think there's a very easy (or very challenging, depending on your friend's personality) way to address this.
Next time she complains that Peter was just perrrrfect until he wouldn't answer her call at 2 a.m., for example, you say:
"Friend, I know it's tough when a guy doesn't quite measure up. I really want you to be happy, and to find the right guy for you!"
"Thanks! Man, can you believe it? Peter was 6'5" and blond and spelled 'curmudgeonly' correctly on his profile, but when I called him for the 12th time he seemed a little ticked and ..."
"You know, I understand that you're looking for a really specific set of criteria, but I am having a hard time sympathizing right now. It's just hard to hear a good friend get let down by her own expectations time and time again."
"But I only want a perfect guy."
"And I only want to hear about your love life once you've found him! I want to be here for you, but it's getting tough listening to the same old story over and over. I can't keep going through this with you when I see you hurting yourself over and over."
(Ideally)"OK, well, I'll let you know when I go on a second date with someone."
(Or possibly)"You don't care about me!!!"
And you go on from there.
As far as one poster's comment that these sorts of guys don't look for dates online: I don't think that's true. A huge number of people look for dates online these days!
I also don't think the OP's friend's needs are unrealistic just because she's not super pretty or what have you (though the needy parts are unrealistic in my view because needy is not attractive to a mate!); lots of people are 'unequally' matched. But the less you stress about her stress, the happier you'll be! It takes some of us a lot more searching to find a good match than others, but that doesn't mean our standards are wrong.
I agree with this. It's really not about who's out there or whom she can attract, which is lucky because just about anything you could say about those would probably wind up being rather insulting. The issue is that you don't want to hear about it, and that's totally valid.
"Friend, I'm sorry, but I need to pull back from the day-to-day of your dating
life. I'll be happy to gush over every detail when you've found someone you actually like, but hearing about the guys that DON'T work out so often is honestly dragging me down." Just disengage. "Friend, we talked about this. I don't want to know what each guy did wrong; just let me know when there's someone in your life you feel good about." And then, "Honey, you're doing it again. I'm going to go now; let's catch up on other stuff tomorrow."
On a side note, my dating
criteria used to be: over 6', dark hair, light eyes, conventionally handsome with a solid build, excellent spelling, grammar, and vocabulary, a 4-year degree from a school I'd heard of, nonsmoker, alpha male, no previous marriages or children, impeccable manners, financially stable, wicked sense of humor, and no drama. When I met my DH, I realized that I didn't especially care about which of those criteria he DID meet, much less which he didn't. My list was just an excuse to keep potential boyfriends at arms'-length; it had almost nothing to do with my honest deal-breakers or needs from a partner. Your friend may be so wrapped up in finding the perfect man that she hasn't realized yet that she's not ready to meet HER perfect man, and her standards are a subconscious correction mechanism. If so, she'll sort it out...and she won't hear a word of contradiction until she does.