Author Topic: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)  (Read 605913 times)

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Margo

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I'd like to see children more dealing with "challenge" than "frustration".

If they face challenges, they learn that things can be overcome. If they're faced with frustration, they learn that there are some things that, no matter how hard they try, they can't do. While this is, in its way, a good lesson of its own, it's not something I would want my children to learn before they learn, "Step 1 Failure, Step 2 - analyse and repeat with corrections, Step X, success!".

This. Making mistakes is normal.  You have to learn from them and adapt. I found that lessons learned the hard way are rarely forgotten.  Of course, I would never compromise a child's safety or health to "life lessons", but consequences for actions (good or bad) are part of life.
But forcing a child to do something purely for the purpose of frustrating her is cruel.  WHY would any loving parent agree to that? 

I do not know how to do algebra.  I will NEVER know how to do algebra. This is because algebra was pure frustration for me.  I would spend over an hour a day as a young teen crying over  my homework, because I did not understand what the teacher wanted.  I could give her the correct answer; I could show her how I arrived at that answer.  But it was marked wrong because I didn't do it the "right" way. 

Because of this, I didn't bother with college, other than a few classes that interested me.  I knew that I could never pass a college math course. 

And THAT is what frustration does for a child.

Just to clarify, the purpose was not to frustrate. The point was to give her things to do which would be challenging.  And it is very frustrating if you suddenly find something difficult, particularly when you have been used to finding pretty much everything easy.

and it is far better to have that experience when you are 9 or 10, and have loving and supportive family round you, than when you are (say) in your first year at University and realise that everyone else on your course was also the top of their class, and that the bar just got a lot higher. I saw a good deal of that when I went to university, and several people did pretty much crash and burn because they were meeting that challenge, and the frustration of finding stuff *hard* at the same time as coping with living away from home etc.

And of course, when you find something dificult and/or frustrating the feeling of achievement when you finally break through and get it to do what you wanted is correspondingly greater.

Ms_Cellany

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My nephew took up go-kart racing in (I think) late middle school. He was upset that he didn't well at first.

His dad phrased it as "Well, it's your rookie season," with an air of  "of course you're not great just now, no one is at first," and that worked great!
Current foster kittens: Friday (F: green collar), Duffy (M: blue), Fez (M: orange), Kipling (M: pink), Thirteen (F: yellow).

o_gal

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Could the stories about challenging/frustrating students so they will learn better be moved to a separate thread? They don't seem like impossible patron requests anymore.