Author Topic: Do I owe an apology? (I deleted my posts on someone's FB status)  (Read 1546 times)

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JenJay

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Apologies in advance for the length.

My Uncle and I don't see eye to eye on politics. I'm fairly moderate while he swings to the absolute extreme on one side. He recently posted on facebook a quote by a politician. I hadn't heard the quote and it seemed kind of off so I decided to google it. Turns out what he posted was just a tiny part of the overall statement, which when read in its entirety means something completely different than what the single quote implies, so I posted a link to the full statement with my own opinion that I thought the quote was taken out of context. Let me say that this wasn't out of line for my family, we all have our various opinions about a lot of things and frequently have minor debates regarding each others postings. He's definitely never been shy about letting me know his opinion on things I post.

He didn't really respond to my reply but one of his friends (who I do not know) did and we were having a nice conversation about the quote (we didn't agree but it was friendly). Then this other person (also unknown to me) jumped in and said something extremely offensive. I was honestly so upset by what this person said that my heart was racing and I felt sick to my stomach. I know that sounds like a dramatic overreaction but what happened is that I felt horrible that I'd inadvertently created the opening for this comment to be made (by starting the discussion), and I was afraid one of my friends would follow me back to the conversation (Uncle's page isn't private) and see this statement, so I just deleted all of my comments (2 or 3). Now if you look at the thread it doesn't really make sense. If it matters, he "liked" the nasty comment so I know where he stands on that.

I'm wondering if I should apologize to my Uncle for making a mess of his status? I don't want him to think I'm okay with what was said and I don't know how to apologize while making it clear I found the comment completely disgusting, that would come off as a non-apology. He hasn't contacted me about it at all and I think he would if he was upset, so I'm 99% sure he doesn't care. I'm still upset by the whole thing and unable to remove my emotions and see this objectively. Do you all think I owe him an apology and, if so, how do I word it?

(I can't unfriend or block him without causing collateral damage for some of our mutual relatives but I did unsubscribe from his posts.)

Bales

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Re: Do I owe an apology? (I deleted my posts on someone's FB status)
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2012, 11:59:09 AM »
No apology needed.  If the post was that nasty to cause the reaction you had, I understand why you wanted to remove yourself completely from any attachment to it.  I'd be more concerned that your uncle "liked" the nasty comment, not that you made a mess of the post history by deleting comments.  Not even sure how I'd react to that if it were me - might need to hide his posts for a while to give myself a break.

princessdolly

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Re: Do I owe an apology? (I deleted my posts on someone's FB status)
« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2012, 12:23:42 PM »
I don't understand what you could possibly apologise for. Your uncle started a topic by posting, you had a reasoned debate with his friend, another friend attacked you and your uncle gave him a pat on the back for it.

Your uncle behaved despicably and I think you should remain at a cool and frosty distance from him.

You did nothing wrong and you shouldn't feel bad.

starbuck

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Re: Do I owe an apology? (I deleted my posts on someone's FB status)
« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2012, 12:29:04 PM »
When people post political topics on an open FB page they are inviting debate IMO. If they don't care for debate and just want to post things they like/agree with they can disable comments or lock that status from comments.  You did nothing wrong.

As a general comment, I don't understand people who post articles/comments/opinions etc on their pages and then get upset that people "attacked" them when others offer a rebuttal. People need to remember that in life there are those on the opposite side who feel just as strongly as you do about XYZ issue.

JenJay

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Re: Do I owe an apology? (I deleted my posts on someone's FB status)
« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2012, 12:39:59 PM »
Thanks. I know I don't owe him an apology for disagreeing with him but I did mess up his status and I do feel badly about that. Before you could see there was a discussion going on and now it looks like a bunch of crazy people tossing out random thoughts directed at nobody. Which isn't too far off the mark.   >:D

O'Dell

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Re: Do I owe an apology? (I deleted my posts on someone's FB status)
« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2012, 02:36:13 PM »
Thanks. I know I don't owe him an apology for disagreeing with him but I did mess up his status and I do feel badly about that. Before you could see there was a discussion going on and now it looks like a bunch of crazy people tossing out random thoughts directed at nobody. Which isn't too far off the mark.   >:D

A status update on Facebook is not a work of art! You didn't "mess" anything up. Don't worry about it. If your Uncles is bothered by the weird "messy" conversation he can delete it. Put this out of your mind and enjoy your weekend. ;)
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.
Walt Whitman