Insulting Comments or Teasing

[needhelp63]

Maybe I am overly sensitive, but my SS's girlfriend has now on several occasions teasingly told my DH that his clothes are not good and need to be updated.  For example, his wrangler's are too tight (he wears levys), his shirts need more color and he just needs to be more modern and no black jeans.   I find the comments to be very insulting and hurtful to me since I do all of his shopping.

My DH is close to 50 years old, he does not shop, so I buy all of his clothes and when he does not care for something I pick out, I return it.  He has on many occasions told me, I will not wear that so I have gotten pretty good at knowing his taste and I think dresses and looks very nice.  He generally wears levy jeans and solid color shirts (no pastels or loud colors).  Yes, it is simple, but simple works for him and I have heard other ladies say he is an attractive man, so I would think his clothes are not too far out.

I know the 20 year olds wear different clothes and have the more modern styles but I find the teasing to be hurtful and insulting.  It does not bother my DH so am I out of line?

[Lisbeth]

If it doesn't bother him, I wouldn't let it bother you.  Just say "Uh huh" in response.

[NOVA Lady]

I buy all my SO's clothes as well and I would just brush it off. I am only 23 but the way some teenagers and even pre teens dress now adays makes me not want to look "cool" and "modern"

I saw a few girls at the mall the other day wearing skirts so short you could see their underwear (and not at the top of the skirt, at the bottom) and bras for tops with some sort of mesh see through netting for a "cover up" and I know for sure that I don't want to be cool and modern in that way!

I like to hide my private bits a little more!

[Romes7329]

Maybe I am overly sensitive, but my SS's girlfriend has now on several occasions teasingly told my DH that his clothes are not good and need to be updated. 

I would say something along the lines of "Oh!  You're willing to buy him all new clothes?!"  When she guffaws, say "Oh, I didn't think so!"

of course you might run the risk of having her say "Sure lets go shopping!"  

[IndianInlaw]

Who cares what she thinks?  She's a rude little twerp.

Just because his clothes are not to her liking doesn't mean they're bad.

Just roll your eyes and say "whatever".

[ccnumber4]

KeenReader is probably right, you may just want to let it go.  However, that would irritate the heck out of me, and I would probably eventually end up saying, "He is happy with the way he looks and so am I.  Drop it."

[needhelp63]

Thanks all - I did plan to ignore it.  It just helps to know that I am not the only one who thinks this way.

[Tabris]

Honestly, I'd probably give her a good long look-over, top to bottom, really studying her clothes. And then say, with no inflection, "I'll take that under advisement."

[DottyG]

Maybe I am overly sensitive, but my SS's girlfriend has now on several occasions teasingly told my DH

I know I should be able to figure this one out, but what's "SS"?

[needhelp63]

ss - is stepson.

[Clara Bow]

I think I'd tell the little witch that she could keep a civil tongue in her head while she was under my roof. There is no excuse for outright insulting someone, and there is no reason to let it go on. Jokes are one thing, but they cease to be funny when someone's feelings are hurt.

[Chartreuse]

I know the 20 year olds wear different clothes and have the more modern styles but I find the teasing to be hurtful and insulting.

If somebody's 50 years old, I should hope they don't dress like Mr. Trendy Teenager.  What, does she want you to pick some trendy thing out and get him going like that?  I'm sure she'd LOVE to see your husband dressed like a goth, emo kid, or some other thing that belongs on somebody over half his age.  I think there's a lot to be said about aging gracefully and dressing appropriately for one's age.  It looks ridiculous for somebody to try to dress really out of their age range.  "They're having a midlife crisis", etc.

Eh, if you want kicks, sometime that you know she's showing up, dress your husband in one of the more trendy styles (raid a thrift store and do your research as to what's cool right now for the 16 year old crowd).  He'll probably look so ridiculous that she may get the point about why her jokes stink.

[sweedetobee]

I would be insulted if I was you (the person who picked out the clothes). And if your husband talking to SS about it is not an option (gee, wife and I really don't enjoy when your girlfriend makes jokes about the clothes. I know she doens't mean any harm, but could you nicely ask her to stop) then I'd probably say something when she makes her next comment. I'd probably come right out and say "Maybe you didn't know but I actually purchase most of his clothes so if you have any concerns about his outfits perhaps you could speak to me in private?" or the more polite/said in private "I know you don't mean any harm but I actually pick out his clothes and some times I feel embarrassed by your comments."

I'm not saying that is the correct way to handle it (the "let it go" answer probably is) but that is how I would feel/what I would do.

[Brentwood]

I think a 50-ish man in Levi's and a solid shirt sounds pretty good!

Either ignore her comments in the hopes that the lack of attention will cause her to drop the subject, or ask your husband to speak to your stepson about it. The comments are definitely rude, especially if it's ongoing.

[Musicwoman]

If the comments bother you, quietly tell her that they upset you and you'd like her to stop.  She may have no idea she's causing you upset.  If she doesn't know, she probably won't stop.