Insulting Comments or Teasing

[housewife2k]

I'm in my late twenties, and I find few things more attractive than nice looking older man in jeans-especially black ones, and a solid color shirt!

[Balletmom]

I'm not so sure you should just ignore it. I think it's rude of your SS's girlfriend to comment negatively about your husband's clothing style. Period. No matter what he wears.

The first time one of my DDs' boyfriends makes a comment about my clothing other than a Eddie Haskell (from "Leave it to Beaver" tv show) type comment of "Gee, you look nice Mrs. Balletmom!" will be the last.

I see nothing wrong with a polite, humorous, and firm response along the lines of, "Gee, we really weren't looking for fashion updates from SS's girlfriends. One of the joys of getting older is dressing to please just yourself."

If it were me, I'd probably add, "Be thankful I'm not wearing a muumuu and house shoes, cause I have earned the right to be comfortable!"

I would not have dared to tell any of my boyfriends' fathers how to dress, or that matter, my FIL.

[supernova]

Heck, that sums up 90% of my wardrobe (solid dark-colored shirts and jeans, blue or black).  And I'm a woman in my 30-somethings.  It's what I wore to my casual-dress job for 7+ years, and it's what I've been wearing for the last 3 years as a returning college student.  I fit right in, in both places.

I also really, really love the way a man looks in a nice-fitting pair of Levis or Wranglers.  My biggest complaint about the "baggier than thou" style of men's pants for the last 10 years or so:  I miss the, um, rear view.   

SS's GF is a twerp, and a rude one at that.  Next time she comments, smile and say, "Yes, but I prefer my husband to look like a man, not a teen-magazine reject."  Smile at him and give him an appreciative kiss.  SS and GF should both react with "Eeeeww!" and run out of the room, thereby solving more than one problem in one shot. 

     - saphie

[Hawkwatcher]

I would not have dared to tell any of my boyfriends' fathers how to dress, or that matter, my FIL.

When I started dating my future husband, I did not even call my future in-laws by their first name.  I cannot even imagine teasing them about their clothes. I think that SS's girlfriend needs to wait until she knows them better before even considering teasing them. 

[minnaloushe]

I know the 20 year olds wear different clothes and have the more modern styles but I find the teasing to be hurtful and insulting. 

I think that's exactly what you should say. And maybe follow up with, "I'm sure you wouldn't like it if I made hurtful comments about your style would you?"

[kkl123]

GF apparently doesn't quite comprehend the difference between "fashion" and "style".  Nor the bit of etiquette that the only comments you make on another person's clothing are compliments.

[sammycat]

I could never imagine being so rude about someone's clothes (or furnishings or whatever), let alone speaking to my boyfriend's father like that.  My late FIL used to have a rather "interesting" style of dress but it never occured to me to actually say anthing about it - either to him or anyone else.

Next time she says anything maybe you could say something like 'are you always this rude, or do you reserve it just for us'?

[madmusician]

Next time she says anything maybe you could say something like 'are you always this rude, or do you reserve it just for us'?

This is exactly what you need to say to her. She is the epitome of rudeness to think she can get away with something like that.

BTW, any man looks good in a pair of nicely-fitting Levi's. The baggy jeans that are so cool right now just look stupid. I'm not making you look at my buttcrack, why should I have to look at yours?

Please, please tell her how out of line she is. That is no way to win over a future in-laws. Never in a million billion years would I every say something intentionally insulting (or even potentially insulting) to my future in-laws.

[VorFemme]

If you and DH are happy with the way he looks - the "flavor of the month's" advice is superflous.  Feel free to raise an eyebrow while changing the subject.

I had a similar comment made last month - my SIL made a comment about my clothes being "too baggy" during a Christmas get together..

Background - I have been on a weight loss regime since the end of March 2006 for medical reasons.  I had bought a small number of new clothes in October because what was in the closet was too big.  The black jeans had fit snugly (without showing "heads or tails" on coins kept in my back pocket) when they were bought.  By Christmas - they were no longer "snug" - but were not what I would call BAGGY........  They stayed up without a belt or suspenders, after all!

I told SIL that I would be getting a few more clothes in a smaller size after "the really good sales started" and ignored the rest of her advice..............as "Too Tight" is not a good style for a woman nearing fifty, in my not-so-humble-opinion.  And if I can't dress to suit MY opinion - what's the point of having an opinion?