I was discussing this with a friend who is in a bit of a situation right now and wondered what the right etiquette for this might be.
Amy is upset with her husband, Chris, because one of his friends has made some offensive and untrue comments about Amy. This friend, Rick, told Amy that she is a terrible person and an awful mother and she shouldn't have kids (what he said bordered on saying that she is cruel to and abuses her children) and he said she was being a complete [bad word] when she defended herself. Amy is a wonderful mother. Her children are kind people, well behaved, smart, cared for in every possible way, never physically punished, never neglected or denied anything like food or medicine or attention, and she loves them with every bit of herself. Rick has no children and he said that if he did, he would raise them differently because it's not fair to not give in when they throw tantrums because they are crying out for your love and that they shouldn't be expected to have household chores or to have to do things they don't want to do, like trying sports and instruments and sticking to commitments that aren't always enjoyable (the exact examples given were that she told her 7 year old daughter that she needed to choose an extracurricular activity to try and that she made her 8 year old son stick it out as his class president when it turned out to be less of a fun job than he thought it would).
Amy pretty much hates Rick for this and thinks that he was so unbelievably out of line in saying that to her and she is content to never see his face again. She also thinks that Chris should be more upset than he is because by saying that Amy is a bad parent and mean to her kids, he's also saying that about Chris because Chris is also making these parenting choices and stands by them. Chris is angry with Rick and has told him so and Rick apparently apologized to him and Chris does not want this issue to make waves in their social group and he just wants to go back to being friends with Rick. Amy is not at all a demanding or controlling wife and she would never tell Chris who his friends should be, but she's really thinking about saying something in this situation because she feels that it was a line that was crossed so badly that there is going back and that it's not right for him to want to be friends with someone who thinks these things about them.
I can sort of see both sides here, but I am much better friends with Amy and so I do feel much more for her side, but I was wondering what you all might think about this. Is it ever ok to dictate your significant other's friendships? Is this one of those times, or should she try to get past it so as not to make it awkward for her husband?
