Unwanted Guest Dilemma -- 1st Update at #17

[amylouky]

ETA to Roe:  In a previous post about this I mentioned that Eunice did take this woman aside and tell her that her actions were unacceptable.  The response was "I don't get out much; I didn't know I was doing anything wrong."

Sorry, I must've missed that.  Wow, if she's that "special" then I'd just go with not inviting her.

I'm not sure I see her response as "special".. I thought it was kind of sad really. I know tone matters and the rest of the conversation (can we get a link to the previous thread?), but from what is quoted above it doesn't sound like she was trying to argue that she WASN'T doing anything wrong.
When I was growing up, double-dipping wasn't an issue.. I think my parents were  more of the "eh, it'll strengthen their immune system" school of thought. It wasn't until I was an adult that I learned that double-dipping was gross and unsanitary. Maybe she really didn't know?

[Venus193]

Here is the original thread about it:

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=111759.msg2607170#msg2607170

I wasn't present for the scolding and this woman left the party shortly thereafter.  About an hour later I noticed she was gone.

[Venus193]

X-posted from the St. Patrick's Day thread:

Ms Double Dipper was not invited.  I had advised Eunice of the responses in this thread, but she so dislikes confrontation that both she and her husband relied on Caller ID as a warning.   They did not return her calls and she seemed to give up because there were no calls for three days prior.   However....

Ms Double Dipper called four times during the party itself.  On the fourth call another guest picked up the phone so Eunice was stuck having to talk to her.  I don't know the whole conversation but Ms Double Dipper had said "I heard you're having a party" and Eunice said "I'm having a few people over and I'm rather busy at the moment."  I was busy enough not to remember anything else said about the conversation.  We did wonder whether she would attempt to crash the party (she lives in the neighborhood) and what we would do.  Fortunately, that did not happen.

Since there are people they have in common, this will not be the end of the story.  Details of the evening will make their way back to Ms Double Dipper and/or her husband so we can anticipate a confrontation.  I will X-post this to the other thread and when the next update happens I will post it there.

[TootsNYC]

Ms Double Dipper called four times during the party itself.  On the fourth call another guest picked up the phone so Eunice was stuck having to talk to her. 

Who answers someone else's phone at a party?

Can we just say now--that's out of line. People shouldn't do that.

I can't imagine answering someone else's phone without their express permission ever.

Oh, I suppose someone might have a flood of "being helpful" and think that their hostess is so busy and that they're being helpful answering.

But I also think that Eunice should have turned the phone's ringer off after phone call No. 2.

[Venus193]

I don't know who answered the phone so I don't know how close this friend was.  It could even be that someone asked him/her to answer the phone, but I don't know.

I would agree that turning the ringer down or off after the 2nd time sounds like a good idea.  However, there was the potential that another guest would have called for directions or to say "I'm in the liquor store; do you need anything?"

[Angel B.]

If you don't want this woman there, then don't invite her.

I'm a little confused why you would be trying to accommodate her.

[Venus193]

Just to clarify, she was not invited.  I don't think she was even invited to the Christmas party in the first place.  In this instance it was that she was totally clueless when her calls went unreturned for nearly three weeks.

Nobody is trying to accommodate her.  It's that Eunice doesn't like confrontation.