Author Topic: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd? Update #19  (Read 5438 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

darkprincess

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 315
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd?
« Reply #15 on: March 14, 2012, 04:37:11 PM »
My friends and I have made similar type jokes/comments on facebook to friends who are fine with the humor. We are careful not to do it on facebook pages of people who would not like it.

Occasionally someone else will see our comments and become offended and ask the comment to be removed. Eventually we suggested to one person who makes the removal request alot that they might want to hide our comments so they no longer see them.

We never do it on pictures with other people tagged on them because that makes it too personal and not a sarcastic or ironic statement.

MrsJWine

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8799
  • I have an excessive fondness for parentheses.
    • Wallydraigle
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd?
« Reply #16 on: March 14, 2012, 04:43:40 PM »
In the background you can see my Mother's back as she finishes up the dishes.

I missed this the first time I read this. The person who commented probably thought it was your aunt, and probably knows you aunt's sense of humor. And if he doesn't, then your aunt can probably handle it herself. I'd definitely stay out of it.


I have a blog.  I hate that word.


Utah

jimithing

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 19737
  • Life Is Too Short to Wear a Bad Outfit!
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd?
« Reply #17 on: March 14, 2012, 11:14:23 PM »
I agree with the PPs. I think you need to stay out of it.

I had a situation like this, recently. My coworker and I have a *very* sarcastic relationship, and a brother/sister kind of jokey thing going on. I'm sure lots of people who don't know us would cringe at the things we say to each other, but if we ever cross the line, we can be honest. I think it's happened twice in the 5 years we've worked together.

He posted a picture of his daughter, and my comment was something along the lines of how cute she was, despite his genes.

His dad sent me a PM on FB, asking what the hell I meant by that and how offended he was. Not only did I think Dad was ridiculous, but so did my coworker, who thought my comment was funny.

I now get to tell people the story about how I blocked my coworker's father, on FB.

If your aunt or mom is offended, great. They can remove it. But I think without knowing the background or relationship between your aunt and this person, it's not your place to get involved.

Allyson

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1927
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd?
« Reply #18 on: March 15, 2012, 11:35:30 AM »
I agree with everyone else, pretty much...stay out of it. Nothing will be resolved by your saying anything. It's certainly a dumb joke, not directed at your actual mother. It's like how a 'your mom' joke is not about the person who is actually your mother.

I really doubt that this person is actually sexist, and getting a PM from a stranger who's offended will not help anything if they are or aren't. If it really, really bothers you, see if your aunt will remove the comment, but really? I think that's overreacting to a silly comment.

Aryanna

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd?
« Reply #19 on: March 15, 2012, 06:37:01 PM »
Well, the situation resolved itself... We were all going through the pictures to get the ones of Great Grandfather and both my aunt and my mother saw the offending comment.

Aunt automatically deleted the comment, sent practically the same message I had in my head, and then blocked the man who said it. Mom was less than thrilled.

To those saying it was not that offensive, I should rephrase my original point. My family (and myself) find these "jokes" very offensive. I have received a few messages from others on this board who feel the same and received very helpful advice and kind words from them.

Sharnita

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 21387
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd? Update #19
« Reply #20 on: March 15, 2012, 07:13:55 PM »
I think that it is fine to have those standards.  I also think that facebook will be a difficult place to navigate without running into a lot of jokes that personally offend you and your family members,

rachellenore

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 126
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd? Update #19
« Reply #21 on: March 15, 2012, 07:38:03 PM »
Check if the person who commented is actually a person on your aunt's friendlist and not just some random idiot. If they are a friend, PM your aunt something "Hey, who's that joker who left that comment about mom doing dishes?" If they're not a friend, report them to Facebook and get their staff to delete the comment.

You're not overreacting. Trolls need to be put in their place.

TurtleDove

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5758
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd? Update #19
« Reply #22 on: March 15, 2012, 07:44:49 PM »
I think that it is fine to have those standards.  I also think that facebook will be a difficult place to navigate without running into a lot of jokes that personally offend you and your family members,

This. The comment is not something Facebook would moderate or chastise, and I suggest you stay off social media.

Instantkarma

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 213
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd? Update #19
« Reply #23 on: March 15, 2012, 07:46:17 PM »
im suprised so many people think this is no big deal would the response be the same if it was a picture of a black person at the back of a bus saying "thats where they belong"??? I hope not but both comments display the same attitude that people should "know there place"

Aryanna

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd? Update #19
« Reply #24 on: March 15, 2012, 07:49:52 PM »
I think that it is fine to have those standards.  I also think that facebook will be a difficult place to navigate without running into a lot of jokes that personally offend you and your family members,

I've been just fine for the past 4 years, but thank you for your concern.

Moray

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1869
  • My hovercraft is full of eels!
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd? Update #19
« Reply #25 on: March 15, 2012, 07:51:21 PM »
I think that it is fine to have those standards.  I also think that facebook will be a difficult place to navigate without running into a lot of jokes that personally offend you and your family members,

This. The comment is not something Facebook would moderate or chastise, and I suggest you stay off social media.

Huh? I personally don't find the comment that offensive, I even think the reaction was a little over the top; but to suggest the OP isn't fit to be on FB because they and their family choose to strictly moderate those things on their own pages is really, really perplexing. Who are you to say what they should and shouldn't accept?
Utah

Wordgeek

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 2018
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd? Update #19
« Reply #26 on: March 15, 2012, 08:48:09 PM »
TurtleDove, I suggest *you* keep a civil tongue in your head, or you'll find yourself staying off Ehell.

TurtleDove

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5758
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd? Update #19
« Reply #27 on: March 15, 2012, 09:40:44 PM »
Where was I not civil? I suggested that if the OP is offended by what is generally considered normal in social media, she should either ignore it or not engage in social media. And this was not on the OP's page. That she can control and moderate. If she ventures onto others' pages, she needs to be prepared that she will be offended. That's on her.

Aryanna

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd? Update #19
« Reply #28 on: March 15, 2012, 09:53:24 PM »
The problem has been resolved, thank you.

I don't believe this thread was about my ability to maintain registration with a social networking site. I see now that others here do not share my view on the content on the comment, and that is fine. The point is that my friends list and family do, therefore I can continue to be an active member of Facebook and many other sites without being offended.

Thank you for your advice, I'll not be heeding it at this time.

Sharnita

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 21387
Re: Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd? Update #19
« Reply #29 on: March 15, 2012, 09:59:17 PM »
Frequently, threads do expand, grow, take turns and even a few  little hops that might relate to the main situation.