Inappropriate comment about my mother... wwyd? Update #19

[Instantkarma]

Except those weren't little hops they were nasty digs at the op

[Sharnita]

Except those weren't little hops they were nasty digs at the op

I honestly don't think they were intended that way.  I think they were genuinely meant to point out that while OP's friends and family share her world vew the trick of facebook is that you enounter the worldview of your friends' friends who might see things a bit differently - which is probably how the comment got posted in the original situation.  It caused OP real distress in a situation where she was already going through stuff.  If running into that kind of thing from strangers is going to be a problem for you then there is some real risk being on facebook because of the outer links of friends of friends.  It was my impression that Turtledove was simply pointing that out, not taking a shot at OP.

[TootsNYC]

I didn't see any nasty digs.

[Twik]

Where was I not civil? I suggested that if the OP is offended by what is generally considered normal in social media...

If ignorant sexism is normal in social media, I'm even gladder I don't take part in it.

You are right that this is not something that FaceBook will "chastise". However, as other posters have mentioned, a contextless comment about, say, "Oh, there's a black person where they belong, at the back of the bus" would not be accepted by any decent person. It's strange that women's dignities are not accorded similar importance.

[O'Dell]

The OP's opening post and thread title suggested that she was taking offense because the remark was directed at her mother and not because it was sexist. I think a lot of the pre-update comments reflect that understanding. The comment wasn't directed at her mother, it was directed at women. If her only concern is her mother, then I believe it is an over-reaction.

If she is particularly offended by sexist comments as indicated in her update, then that is something else entirely. I'm puzzled as to why she emphasized that the comment regarded her mother, if that is the case. That I think should could comment on.

From the OP: What I want to write is in no way ehell approved, but goes along the lines of "That's MY MOTHER you're talking about!"

I would view any comment like that as petty and silly. It implies that the same comment about any other woman would be okay by you. I would find that inappropriate. Responding to the sexist nature of the crack would not be out of place, IMO. And not necessarily rude depending on wording.

And yes I'd feel the same if it were a nasty remark about any other group. Inappropriate to base your objection on it being your mom when it obviously wasn't referencing her personally. Appropriate if the objection is based on the bigotry of the statement.

[Wordgeek]

TurtleDove, thank you for playing.  You are now on an enforced break.

Everyone else, carry on.