Author Topic: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?  (Read 2545 times)

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Allyson

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PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« on: March 16, 2012, 07:59:49 PM »
This came up in another thread, but I was wondering what everyone thought about this in general. Lately I've noticed a trend for posting things to people's walls that are meant just for that person. Stuff like 'so are we still meeting at the mall today' or 'How did everything go on your test' or similar.

What's everyone's thoughts on this? I personally would only post on someone's wall if it was something that other people might also be interested in. So I wouldn't post anything like 'so when are we meeting', but I might post a link to an interesting video I specifically think that that one person might like, but others could also enjoy.

I admit to being a little bit baffled at posting 'conversations' on someone's wall. Why *not* just PM the person? It's not any easier to post it for everyone to see, so why? This seems to be happening a lot more lately.

Sharnita

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Re: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2012, 08:07:10 PM »
I think people tend to miss PMs as opposed to posts.  Other than that I got nothin.

violinp

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Re: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2012, 08:11:25 PM »
Some people might have permanently signed themselves out of chat because there's someone to whom they don't want to talk.
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Fleur-de-Lis

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Re: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2012, 08:11:54 PM »
My only guess would be that it may be much more complicated to send a private message than to post on someone's wall.

It is also possible that some people do not grasp that the message is public. 
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diesel_darlin

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Re: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2012, 05:02:10 PM »
I am signed permanently offline to chat, but I accept messages from anyone on my list. I would much prefer a private message about plans or something between 2 people as opposed to a wall post.

Hollanda

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Re: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2012, 05:52:30 PM »
My view: If it is private (ie business between 2 or 3 people) then it is a PM. If it is a subject about which the FB user has posted themselves, it is OK for public. YMMV.
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TootsNYC

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Re: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2012, 06:31:59 PM »
My only guess would be that it may be much more complicated to send a private message than to post on someone's wall.

It is also possible that some people do not grasp that the message is public.

I think this is part of the "why" as well. I notice that almost any time someone joins Facebook, they start off w/ lots of wall posts , "Hi, how are you."

It's not something that's easily explained anywhere.

And I wonder if from some mobile devices, if getting or sending PMs is sort of unwieldy.

stargazer

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Re: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2012, 02:08:55 PM »
My only guess would be that it may be much more complicated to send a private message than to post on someone's wall.



Honestly, if you're (generic "you're") going to post something on someone's wall, and you can miss the huge "Message" button at the top, I don't know what to tell you.  It's not something complicated at all. 

Isometric

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Re: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« Reply #8 on: March 18, 2012, 09:07:27 PM »
I do this. I might say "want to grab a coffee" on someone's wall, just because I find it easier to navigate to someone's page. Some people's phones also sometimes delete PM's (mine included). If it were of a personal nature, of course it would be a PM. Or if I didn't want anyone else to come. I actually like that another friend will pipe up and say "I'm free too!"

sweetonsno

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Re: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« Reply #9 on: March 18, 2012, 11:40:27 PM »
I wouldn't post about private plans on someone's wall. Confirming a meeting, for example, is a no-no. The exception would be if it's someone's business Facebook page and I was asking a question that other people might be able to answer. For example, if I joined my yoga instructor's Facebook page, I might ask, "Is anyone else attending the 'yoga in the trees' class today? Should I park near the north entrance or the west entrance?" Ditto for an event page.

However, I wouldn't ask about personal matters on someone's public page. If I think there's any chance that they wouldn't want others hearing about it, it's not going on their wall. I think a lot of folks are just oblivious. They don't think that someone else might see their post. It doesn't occur to them that not everyone is invited to the party, or that the owner of the wall may not have told everyone she's looking for a new job, etc.

(Edited for clarity.)

Deetee

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Re: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« Reply #10 on: March 18, 2012, 11:53:26 PM »
Meeting with someone? PM

Asking about exam sounds fine for a wall post though.

kglory

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Re: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2012, 01:37:32 AM »
I think for some people, particularly the middle school & high school crowd, it can be a status thing.  Not as in facebook status, but as in social status.

When you post to Jane's wall, "Hey, are we still on for the movies tonight? Can't wait! xoxo" -- you are publicly broadcasting to all your friends that you and Jane have plans, and thus how cool you are.  If you PM her, then your friends don't all get to see your great plans. 

So I see it often as intentional -- to message the person, but also to put forth a little bit of posturing among friends.  And this younger generation plays out their lives so much online that it's just like one more extension of all the popularity and social status issues that are so important to teenagers. 

That's my guess, at least!

Saki_Fiz

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Re: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2012, 04:27:56 PM »
I actually changed my wall settings because of people doing this.  So now nobody can post on my wall unless they are responding to one of my posts.  Apparently my preference for privacy has frustrated some of my friends (because they couldn't publicly wish me happy birthday?), but as far as I know, nobody has de-friended me for it.  I get that the point of social networking is to be social, but I really just didn't need hundreds of people knowing my coffee plans, or when my house was going to empty because I was going out of town for the weekend.

mlkind1789

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Re: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« Reply #13 on: March 19, 2012, 06:23:28 PM »
I think it depends on the situation...Two situations with the same friend...

1. My friends R and A and I try to get together for lunch or dinner about once a month.  When one of us is trying to arrange a time to meet we use PM rather than a wall post.  It is only the 3 of us and we don't want to offend anyone who isn't invited.

2. A few days ago R posted to her status requesting well wishes/good vibes/prayers for her DH who was taking a specific licensing exam related to his profession.  Yesterday I posted to her wall asking how his exam went.  I feel this is fair game for a wall post since she had already posted about it.


kckgirl

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Re: PMing vs posting on someone's wall?
« Reply #14 on: March 19, 2012, 06:48:09 PM »
I am very much more likely to see a message specifically for me if it is a private message, because I then get the red flag at the top of the page. If it's on my wall, I may never see it. I don't check my wall every day, but I do skim the news feed. A wall message could get really "cold" before I see it.
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