there are two types of silence

[Deleted]

There was this big quilt show/convention that I went to this past weekend, and I was excited to go because I've always loved quilts (and now I'm at a point that I want to make them myself).

I had a friend from college who was very much into quilt making.  We had a falling out several years ago after a huge fight.  I want to stress that this was years ago... I'm going to guess at least five or six years ago.  We are no longer friends.  I haven't thought about her in years.

She saw me at the quilt show and demanded to know why I was there... something to the effect of, "what do you think you are doing here?"

At first, I was completely silent because I was in shock.  Then I crossed my arms and stood there without saying a word, not backing down.  She said a couple of things I won't repeat trying to provoke me, then shouted, "FINE" and left.

[Reason]

It seems the more etiquette approved response would be "I am here to see the convention... Why do you ask?"

But I am probably not picking up on the tone. Obviously the few choice words that followed clearly warranted a complete silence in response.

[SamiHami]

There was this big quilt show/convention that I went to this past weekend, and I was excited to go because I've always loved quilts (and now I'm at a point that I want to make them myself).

I had a friend from college who was very much into quilt making.  We had a falling out several years ago after a huge fight.  I want to stress that this was years ago... I'm going to guess at least five or six years ago.  We are no longer friends.  I haven't thought about her in years.

She saw me at the quilt show and demanded to know why I was there... something to the effect of, "what do you think you are doing here?"


At first, I was completely silent because I was in shock.  Then I crossed my arms and stood there without saying a word, not backing down.  She said a couple of things I won't repeat trying to provoke me, then shouted, "FINE" and left.

Perfection! She made herself look like a fool and you are 100% blameless!

[BeagleMommy]

Wonderful response!

[LEMon]

Chuckle, don't love how you have so much power and control over the universe that you could tell just where and when she would be so you could purposely walk past her just to upset her?  (pure sarcasm)

You handled it great.

[Softly Spoken]

Wow.
Yeah, contrary to her delusion erm, I mean her opinion, you do not actually have to justify your place in the universe to her!
Her "question" deserved absolutely no response. I'm sure it was either rhetorical or, if translated from Jerk language, actually meant "I am angrily surprised and unhappy to see you because I managed to hold a grudge over our falling out for over 5 years and I am furious at you for destroying my fantasy that you no longer existed."

Kudos for not getting into a situation which would have probably found one of you uttering the phrase "This here quilt show ain't big enough for the two of us!"

Like they say, don't engage the crazy.

[Hollanda]

It seems the more etiquette approved response would be "I am here to see the convention... Why do you ask?"

But I am probably not picking up on the tone. Obviously the few choice words that followed clearly warranted a complete silence in response.

I would think the tone was less "What are you *doing* here?" that you would ask a long-lost friend, and more "What are *you* doing here?" that you would ask someone who clearly has no business being wherever she was.

If someone had said that to me, I think I would have been shocked into silence, because you can guarantee that if I had spoken, whatever I would have said would *not* be eHell approved...!!!