When the "God Squad" won't take no for an answer. (Minor Update - Post 51)

[mechtilde]

I'm not sure this would be the most effective method...for all we know the pastor is encouraging this very method.

I agree.  The pastor almost certainly knows this is going on and if so, you can be assured that it's being done with his blessing.

I've heard this method advocated myself.

[gingerzing]

I have used the phrase "Thank you for your invitation, but I am content with my spiritual path"    Used it on the door-to-door folks a couple times. 


A completely nosey question that you can ignore if you would like. 
You mentioned that your parents were fairly open about different religions/spiritual paths.  Would it be something that you would let your daughter go to?  Perhaps not to this brand but to any other church that may be closer to what your views are?  Granted some brands of church -which these two sound like - don't always feel like the same brand, but different color are as right.   

[BarensMom]

Evil me would say "I believe in God, it's the believers I have a problem with."  Or, "If you call what you're doing no pressure, I hate to see what you consider high pressure."

Really, just tell them once more that you're not interested, then ignore.

[EMuir]

Right now you are in their good graces because they think they can convert you.  I would not say anything direct about your beliefs.  If you convince them you are not salvageable, they may turn a cold shoulder and ostracize you.

I would tell them you prefer to worship privately for personal reasons that are too painful to discuss. 

[magiccat26]

I have used the phrase "Thank you for your invitation, but I am content with my spiritual path"    Used it on the door-to-door folks a couple times. 


A completely nosey question that you can ignore if you would like. 
You mentioned that your parents were fairly open about different religions/spiritual paths.  Would it be something that you would let your daughter go to?  Perhaps not to this brand but to any other church that may be closer to what your views are?  Granted some brands of church -which these two sound like - don't always feel like the same brand, but different color are as right.

Kitten has been to church once with my coleader's daughter.  She spent the night and since they were going to church, she went with them.  I have no problem with this as it is how I was exposed to many different religions growing up.

I will NOT, however, allow this to become a weekly thing as I don't feel it's healthy.  Kitten and I discuss religion.  I want her to grow up open minded and I fear her attending this specific church would narrow her mind.  Just an example that boiled my blood...one of my moms related to me a conversation she had with her 8 year old about her terminally ill Grandmother.

Girl:  mommy, will Grandma go to heaven when she dies?
Mom:  well baby, no, not unless she repents and accepts *Deity* as her savior.  She hasn't, so we need to pray for her.
Girl:  I will pray for her and talk to her about *Deity*.  I will tell her that I love her and don't want her to go to ****.
Mom: I think that's a wonderful idea.  Maybe she will be brought to *Deity* if she hears it from your sweet lips.  You are my little angel.

Nothing like using your child to guilt and manipulate your Mom who is dying of cancer.  I kept my lips tightly shut on that one and changed the subject.  Luckily bean dip works on her.

[kansha]

so she had no problems telling her child that her beloved grandma is going to hell?

[kherbert05]

so she had no problems telling her child that her beloved grandma is going to hell?

You have to understand. They are right and god is on their side - so nothing they do to further the "cause" can be wrong or immoral.

[jedikaiti]

I have used the phrase "Thank you for your invitation, but I am content with my spiritual path"    Used it on the door-to-door folks a couple times. 


A completely nosey question that you can ignore if you would like. 
You mentioned that your parents were fairly open about different religions/spiritual paths.  Would it be something that you would let your daughter go to?  Perhaps not to this brand but to any other church that may be closer to what your views are?  Granted some brands of church -which these two sound like - don't always feel like the same brand, but different color are as right.

Kitten has been to church once with my coleader's daughter.  She spent the night and since they were going to church, she went with them.  I have no problem with this as it is how I was exposed to many different religions growing up.

I will NOT, however, allow this to become a weekly thing as I don't feel it's healthy.  Kitten and I discuss religion.  I want her to grow up open minded and I fear her attending this specific church would narrow her mind.  Just an example that boiled my blood...one of my moms related to me a conversation she had with her 8 year old about her terminally ill Grandmother.

Girl:  mommy, will Grandma go to heaven when she dies?
Mom:  well baby, no, not unless she repents and accepts *Deity* as her savior.  She hasn't, so we need to pray for her.
Girl:  I will pray for her and talk to her about *Deity*.  I will tell her that I love her and don't want her to go to ****.
Mom: I think that's a wonderful idea.  Maybe she will be brought to *Deity* if she hears it from your sweet lips.  You are my little angel.

Nothing like using your child to guilt and manipulate your Mom who is dying of cancer.  I kept my lips tightly shut on that one and changed the subject.  Luckily bean dip works on her.

EvilJedi hopes the grandmother told the kid "Don't worry dear, I'll have your mommy to keep me company in He!!"

This is why I try to keep EvilJedi under wraps - it's not the kid's fault she's being raised by an obnoxious unprintable word.

[violinp]

so she had no problems telling her child that her beloved grandma is going to hell?

You have to understand. They are right and god is on their side - so nothing they do to further the "cause" can be wrong or immoral.

Exactly. I was invited to a Halloween party by a friend. The Halloween party was at her church, which surprised me, but I said I'd have to ask my parents. My parents refused outright, explaining to me that it wasn't a party, but rather an event to scare children into being inducted into their brand of religion. Thing was, I was already of the Blue faith, just in a different shade.

And this friend wondered why I didn't want anything to do with her, and didn't understand why it would be wrong to invite a friend to such an event, especially if they are the same color faith as you. *headdesk*

[RubyCat]

The line I have always used is that "I don't do organized religion well."  I don't know if it would work with these folks but I have always found it to be a way of telling people that I was not willing to join their church but that it was my "problem" not theirs.  I hope you can find a way to get them to back off & still retain the relationships. I find that folks like this usuually mean well but over time, their attempts would wear on me seriously. 

[Danika]

The line I have always used is that "I don't do organized religion well."  I don't know if it would work with these folks but I have always found it to be a way of telling people that I was not willing to join their church but that it was my "problem" not theirs.  I hope you can find a way to get them to back off & still retain the relationships. I find that folks like this usuually mean well but over time, their attempts would wear on me seriously.

I think folks who are overly religious don't really understand the term "organized religion." They're not sure what that means. In their worlds, they are "saved" and what they believe in is "the truth." So if you say "I don't do organized religion" it means as much to them as if you were to respond "I do not like washing my car." I don't think they comprehend the answer. You'd have to further explain "a faith that follows a book, where many people believe the same thing, read the book, believe in the same leaders like DietyName1, DietyName2" for them to understand what you mean by "organized."

[RubyCat]

I didn't mean it to come off so casual. Maybe tone of voice makes the difference. In my case it's not so much that everyone follow the same book or believes the same things. I can't help believing that we all have our doubts and crises of faith at times. I don't think you have to accept 100% of the teachings 100% of the time, but that it's acceptable to join up with a group with whom you share enough common ground. My problem with "organized" has more to do with the hierarchy and the politics that can cause issues within some congregations. There are many good ones out there but I've seen and experienced enough bad that I'm reluctant to get involved with an organized religious group which is why I say I don't do organized religion well.

[gingerzing]

Thanks Magiccat.  I assumed it was something like that.
And yes, unfortunately, there are some in the faith that have twisted stuff around.   
My personal belief is only *deity* knows someone's heart. 
I have had a couple friends "fall away" from organized religion because of hurtful things said, questions ignore, or something else in the running of the group.

Stick with "thank you but no" "happy with your spiritual path", and even the "I don't do organized religion for personal and private reasons" should all be acceptable answers.  If in the course of a conversation you can move from a gentle, "thank you but no" to a couple "No thank you." to "We have discussed it and the answer is no, please don't ask again." 

[Barb3000]

I feel for you as I come from New England but spend winters in the South (AL, not FL). Big culture shock.

I think I might say, "you know, I have respectfully declined your invitations to join your church and you keep pestering me about it. This is making my opinion of your church go way down. Is that what you are trying to do, get me to think less of your church?"


Reminds me of a run-in (down south) with a lady (total stranger) who found out I am childless (age about 35 at the time). She started in on why I should have kids, I would love it, etc, . Finally I said "why are you trying to make me feel bad?" She had no answer for that.

[Piratelvr1121]

I feel for you. We're not quite in the bible belt as we're in Maryland, but it seems like we're on the outer edge of it sometimes.   The town where we live is full of churches and the boys have told me some of their friends have said that if someone doesn't believe in J.C., they're going to hell. 

I talked to them and told them some people believe that but that in our family we believe that everyone has the right to believe whatever is right for them, and they will not go to the hot place for it.

And oh my word, that just makes me sick that the one woman used her little daughter to try and push her sick grandmother to their religion. 

EvilJedi hopes the grandmother told the kid "Don't worry dear, I'll have your mommy to keep me company in He!!"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I LOVE IT!