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Author Topic: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower  (Read 15419 times)

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PennyandPleased

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Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« on: March 28, 2012, 01:38:49 PM »
I am asking this question for my cousin (who is basically my sister).

Cousin and husband want to announce their new baby's gender at the shower. They know the gender but have kept it a secret and no one knows but them.

At the shower they wanted to put a very gender specific outfit in a wrapped  "mystery box" and after everyone has arrived at the shower unwrap the box and announce the gender to all guests. 

Cousin's MIL and SIL are furious about this idea. They think that they should get to know the gender of the baby before everyone else because (and this is an actual quote) "they are 2 of the most important people in this baby's life".

Cousin's parents and siblings are fine with the "big reveal" at the shower.  My cousin does not want to tell MIL and SIL before the shower because she is convinced they will leak the news to others early on in the shower. Her MIL can't keep a secret and I can confirm this 100%.

Cousin's husband is fine with the "big reveal" at the shower but is a little on the fence about telling his Mom and Sister beforehand. (He's a bit of a door mat).

So I want to ask your opinions... should Cousin and Husband do the big gender reveal and let MIL and SIL just deal with it or tell MIL and SIL before hand and risk them spilling the beans and ruining the surprise??

Thank you.

MariaE

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Re: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2012, 01:41:52 PM »
I love the shower idea and I think cousin and DH should do what they want, not what others try to guilt them into.
 
Dane by birth, Kiwi by choice

DottyG

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Re: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« Reply #2 on: March 28, 2012, 01:43:38 PM »
Ah, this one's easy.

Their baby, their choice.


DottyG

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Re: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2012, 01:43:57 PM »
Oh, and I think the idea is terrific!


siamesecat2965

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Re: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« Reply #4 on: March 28, 2012, 01:45:11 PM »
It's their decision, and their's alone to decide when to tell the gender, if at all.  MIL and SIL will just have to put on their big girl panties and deal with it. And as far as being the two most important people in the baby's life, I do belive that honor goes to the parents!

Jones

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Re: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2012, 01:45:46 PM »
I love the big reveal idea! Also, POD DottyG; it's their choice.

The most I would bend is having the father to be whisper to his mom and sister *as the box is being opened*. Then they will know before everyone else.

 >:D
“A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems.” CS Lewis

BeagleMommy

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Re: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2012, 01:46:09 PM »
Agreed - their baby, their decision.

#borecore

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Re: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2012, 01:46:25 PM »
Either they should tell everyone at the shower, which it sounds like they'd enjoy a lot, or they should tell everyone beforehand. The MIL and SIL's opinions shouldn't sway them.

The main advantage to telling everyone beforehand is, of course, that if they're planning to dress baby in gendered clothes, they can be given them at the shower.

I do wonder whether they'll get a big ooh-and-ahh reaction they're hoping for at the shower, but as long as it's fun for them, it doesn't matter much.

DottyG

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Re: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2012, 01:49:41 PM »
Quote
The most I would bend is having the father to be whisper to his mom and sister *as the box is being opened*. Then they will know before everyone else.

I wouldn't even bend that much.  The MIL and SIL are the 2 most important people in the baby's life?!  REALLY?!  Dang, I had no idea the MILs and SILs of this world were so important that they overshadow the actual mother and father of the baby.


cutejellybeen

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Re: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2012, 02:08:25 PM »
It's absolutely up to the parents to decide how and when to let people know the gender of the baby.

If cousin's DH is waffling - what about asking him why his family should get preferential treatment to know before hers? If its at the shower, that way both families find out at the same time. :)



Bibliophile

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Re: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« Reply #10 on: March 28, 2012, 02:14:35 PM »
I think the parents should go with the reveal as planned.  Might as well start out early showing MIL & SIL who is going to be making the parenting decisions.

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx

DottyG

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Re: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« Reply #11 on: March 28, 2012, 02:34:47 PM »
Quote
Might as well start out early showing MIL & SIL who is going to be making the parenting decisions.

Yep!


QueenofAllThings

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Re: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« Reply #12 on: March 28, 2012, 03:02:04 PM »
Why, why, why do people make such a fuss? Why on earth does it matter to MIL and SIL whether they find out before or at the same time as everyone else? Is it so MIL can say "Aha! I KNEW it was a girl - told you!" or so she can swan around with her own little "I have a secret" attitude?

Pul-eeze. POD to Bibliophile.


rose red

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Re: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« Reply #13 on: March 28, 2012, 03:07:58 PM »
The parents-to-be should do whatever they want.  Needing to know first is just to make themselves feel smug and "better" than the other guests.

Reminds me of Marie in Everybody Loves Raymond during the flashback episode when Debra was pregnant with her first child.  That comparison is not a compliment.

PennyandPleased

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Re: Announcing Baby's Gender at Shower
« Reply #14 on: March 28, 2012, 03:17:50 PM »
Thank you everyone.  :D I will pass along your words to my Cousin. I know she will find all your advice very helpful.