My spine! It is starting to shine!

[Nikko-chan]

Today in my first class of the day, a student walked in late, and she hadn't been there the few previous times either. We will call her Janice. So after class Janice comes up to me. The following conversation happened.

Janice: Hey can I borrow your notes?

Me: No.

Janice: Oh. Well can you email them to me?

Me: *looking a bit startled* No.

And just like that, she walked away.

*polishes the bit of spine that is showing*

Is it wrong that I feel like a heel for saying no, though? Did any of you feel this way when you first started installing your spines?

[diesel_darlin]

Good job! I had a similar situation earlier today. A fellow classmate noticed that I had several completed math worksheets ready to turn in.

CM: Hey! You have the worksheets! Let me see those!

Me: Um, why?

CM: I need 'em! Let me have your worksheets!

Me: You may NOT have my worksheets.

CM: 


What is it about students that do not put forth a major amount of effort into classes, yet they feel entitled to the homework/notes/handouts of others? 

[Editeer]

Good job, both of you!

Is it wrong that I feel like a heel for saying no, though? Did any of you feel this way when you first started installing your spines?

I did. Keep practicing. Eventually I realized lightning wouldn't strike me, and I even began to feel *good* about taking care of myself instead of being a doormat.

[LeveeWoman]

Good job! I had a similar situation earlier today. A fellow classmate noticed that I had several completed math worksheets ready to turn in.

CM: Hey! You have the worksheets! Let me see those!

Me: Um, why?

CM: I need 'em! Let me have your worksheets!

Me: You may NOT have my worksheets.

CM: 


What is it about students that do not put forth a major amount of effort into classes, yet they feel entitled to the homework/notes/handouts of others? 

These might be the same people who try to horn in on projects in the work-world.

[diesel_darlin]

Thanks, Editeer! I have that twinge of guilt sometimes also. But this particular person makes it almost simple to say no, because quite frankly, he is obnoxious.

LeveeWoman, you may be right!

[Piratelvr1121]

Yeah eventually the guilt goes away. lol.

My folks taught me "Everyone likes a nice girl" and discouraged me from sticking up for myself.  At one job I worked in as an adult I complained about how my coworkers would be nasty to me and then would ask me for rides to the train station at the end of the day.  I thought my folks would be all proud when I told them I'd said "Uh, no!" but nope.  I was supposed to turn the other cheek and kill them with kindness by letting them treat me like dirt and then go out of my way to take them to the train station.   They said "They'll be nicer to you if you do that."

Hahahahahahaha!!

No, they weren't. Not at all.

Finally I put my foot down and told them no and when my folks told me I was wrong to be so "Rude" I (in the nicest of terms, of course) inferred they were delusional. lol  No really I just said it didn't work out and I wasn't going to waste gas for such nasty pieces of work anymore.

[diesel_darlin]

EHellions wouldn't approve of what I would have had to say to someone that was nasty to me 8 hours a day, then had the gall to ask me to use MY personal vehicle, MY time, and MY fuel to take THEM to the train station.

[JenJay]

I felt horrible the first few times I flexed my spine!

Piratelvr1121, that reminds me of something I saw in a movie once. I don't recall which one, but I'll never forget the line...

Person #1: You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Person #2: Why would I want to catch flies?
Me: Hey! Good point!!

[Nikko-chan]

I am so glad I am not alone! Meh, and when I told my aunt and my mom they said I should be nicer.

"Uh, mom... Janice hasn't come to class in awhile, and I suspect she was only there because she got days mixed up for the midterm review."

They still told me I should be nicer. 

[Reika]

My mom raised me with a nice shiny spine, unfortunately her second ex-husband bent it out of shape a bit, but it's back in place. When I was knocking out the dents I had a few moments of guilt, but they didn't last long.

The first "no" is always hard, eventually it does become easier. So bravo to you, Nikko-chan for your new spine.

[Adelaide]

I felt horrible the first few times I flexed my spine!

Piratelvr1121, that reminds me of something I saw in a movie once. I don't recall which one, but I'll never forget the line...

Person #1: You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Person #2: Why would I want to catch flies?
Me: Hey! Good point!!

Whenever someone feeds me this line I just say "you'll catch even more flies with manure, what's your point?" [taken from The Big Bang Theory]

[diesel_darlin]

CM brought up the worksheets AGAIN today! I'm going to brain him with a humongous clue x four before the semester is over! 

CM: Why wouldn't you let me have your worksheets?

Me: Because they are my worksheets and I need them.

CM: but ya know, if you would have asked me for mine, I would have given mine to you. Not been all stingy and not helped a friend out.

Me: I would never ask for your homework, now please stop asking me for mine. 

 

[Drawberry]

CM brought up the worksheets AGAIN today! I'm going to brain him with a humongous clue x four before the semester is over! 

CM: Why wouldn't you let me have your worksheets?

Me: Because they are my worksheets and I need them.

CM: but ya know, if you would have asked me for mine, I would have given mine to you. Not been all stingy and not helped a friend out.

Me: I would never ask for your homework, now please stop asking me for mine. 

"A friend wouldn't act pushy and rude, what's your point?"

I used to cave in school and give classmates my work, I was so unpopular and lonesome that I'd rather have someone be nice to me because they needed my answers then to deal with them being mean. /sigh/ I wish I'd had the spine at the time to tell them to shove off.

[diesel_darlin]

CM brought up the worksheets AGAIN today! I'm going to brain him with a humongous clue x four before the semester is over! 

CM: Why wouldn't you let me have your worksheets?

Me: Because they are my worksheets and I need them.

CM: but ya know, if you would have asked me for mine, I would have given mine to you. Not been all stingy and not helped a friend out.

Me: I would never ask for your homework, now please stop asking me for mine. 

"A friend wouldn't act pushy and rude, what's your point?"

I used to cave in school and give classmates my work, I was so unpopular and lonesome that I'd rather have someone be nice to me because they needed my answers then to deal with them being mean. /sigh/ I wish I'd had the spine at the time to tell them to shove off.

Me too. And a little of that comes back to me when someone asks for my college homework. There are instances that I do allow someone to use my notes, or homework. Just not for people that think they are going to bully me into doing it.

[kherbert05]

Yeah eventually the guilt goes away. lol.

My folks taught me "Everyone likes a nice girl" and discouraged me from sticking up for myself.  At one job I worked in as an adult I complained about how my coworkers would be nasty to me and then would ask me for rides to the train station at the end of the day.  I thought my folks would be all proud when I told them I'd said "Uh, no!" but nope.  I was supposed to turn the other cheek and kill them with kindness by letting them treat me like dirt and then go out of my way to take them to the train station.   They said "They'll be nicer to you if you do that."

Hahahahahahaha!!

No, they weren't. Not at all.

Finally I put my foot down and told them no and when my folks told me I was wrong to be so "Rude" I (in the nicest of terms, of course) inferred they were delusional. lol  No really I just said it didn't work out and I wasn't going to waste gas for such nasty pieces of work anymore.

I'm so glad my parents figured out they were making this mistake the summer between 4th and 5th grade. A couple of things happened so they realized how bullied I was at school. They couldn't understand why I wasn't defending myself.  They knew I could - because I had taken on bigger kids that had attacked my sister and a young neighbor. Somehow I had gotten the idea it was ok to defend others but not defend myself, especially at school. They started to correct that misconception. (They ended up threatening legal action and that solved that problem.)