The background: I'm not married. I don't have children. I used to want to meet someone and settle down, but I always had such bad luck in relationships. Things would seem amazing in the beginning, and then would come the announcement: "I'm not looking for anything long term, and I want us both to see other people" "I have this thing with a woman who lives in another city and I am not ready to let her go," "Being with you reminds me how much I miss my ex....I think I'll go back to her" (ouch)...."I think I might be gay," and the classic, "I really like being with you but I've been hurt before and can never fall in love again." Etc etc etc. I couldn't really understand it because I did turn heads on the street (so it wasn't my looks) and I had plenty of friends (so it wasn't my personality). Eventually I just gave up, watched everyone around me fall in love and get married, and resigned myself to being single. Which isn't such a bad thing after all. But it must seem a little strange to some people that I've reached middle age and never been married. End of Background.
Last week: I went on a date with a guy and we hit it off. In the middle of a lovely half hour kiss, he asked me why I'd never been married. I forgot how he worded it, but I sensed he really liked me but was trying to figure out my inner freak (if any of you saw that Scrabble and the City episode).
What's the polite way to shut that question down without coming across as trying to hide some serious flaw of yours, or maligning the men you've dated, while simultaneously conveying that there's nothing wrong with you that he needs to worry about? I said something like, "Oh, I don't know, I've had longer term relationships that didn't work out for whatever reason. And I do tend to be picky." And then I applied bean dip.
No idea if this thing is going to go anywhere but I'm curious to hear some other good responses to this line of questioning.