Sorry. I was just pleased that the call went without too much issue. And that SIL will be communicating with MIL probably earlier than Saturday for the meal.
The pushy part is that I called on Tuesday because this side of the family is sometimes very "fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" and will occasionally pull the "Well, you should have known to bring..." or call the night before with a list of what should be brought.
It isn't that I think SIL is a bad hostess. And this is one of those things that would normally be a potluck anyway. But the last potluck that we had with the family, SIL talked to DH and then about 2 days before the event MIL called DH about something and then went on and on about me bringing something that I don't cooked normally and was not what I had been planning on bringing. Calls made the day before found that all but MIL were on the same page, still not sure what MIL heard SIL and DH tell her.
Zilla - Sorry I wasn't overly clear. I mostly was pleased that SIL had a good talk and got stuff worked out without any fuss.
..and yes, good questions. Here is my basic answers for you.
No DH didn't force SIL into hosting. She offered since we were going to the church in her town. I was just glad that she was cool with my call.
I know SIL's standard weekday meals are not usually planned out and that me calling on Tuesday for a Sunday meal was probably a little over-anxious on my part or seemed to be.
She knew the basics of what she was planning on Easter dinner looking like. (Ham, sweet potatoes, some kind of regular potatos, veggie, salad, rolls and dessert.) I mostly wanted to know if I needed to get the ham or if she just wanted me to bring some sides.
I don't care about how many sides (I am bringing 3 I think, but I really like to cook so it's cool) but I am not good at making sweet potatoes and MIL makes a sweet potato dish that the IL family really like. So I was glad SIL was going to suggest MIL bring that.
The push for SIL to talk to her mom probably was pushy in some aspects but MIL listens the most to this SIL than any of the other kids. I probably just put the call on SIL's radar sooner than she had planned. MIL is mostly fine in small dosages, but when DH or I call to talk to her, she is easily distracted. So when we tell her things she hears only half of it and draws her own conclusions or just ignores us completely.