good news and bad news

[Coley]

WillyNilly - you brought up a good point. Coach told me after school but before practice. She announced it to the squad towards the end of practice. I did not at any time congratulate her or show any empathy for her. I just stood up and made my little speech about how happy I was and never even thought about her feelings. I guess that makes me a bad person/captain.

Nah, it just means you were caught up in everything else. I don't think you should have said anything in practice, but maybe afterwards?

Welcome to the boards!

POD to Winterlight. You're not a bad person or a bad captain. In a perfect world, you would have said something kind to your friend after the announcement. And in a perfect world, your friend would have accepted your good news gracefully and congratulated you rather than tearing you down. What this says to me is that you're both human. We all make mistakes, and we can learn from them.

Your parents gave you some great advice, and you've received some good suggestions here. I hope your talk with Bree goes well. My suggestion is to let her talk and to be a good listener. Let us know what happens!

[DuBois]

Can we all not pile on the newbie? Esp. in this scoldy way? Kids get enough of that from the people who ARE in authority over them.

Surely we can be collegial?

Oh, and OP: I had absolutely no trouble understanding what you were talking about, and I personally wasn't bothered by your lack of capitalization.

However, I thought I'd mention that people on this particular board aren't very flexible about capitalization, etc., whether the person they're correcting is a grownup or a teenager. And it is true that capital letters and punctuation make it much easier to comprehend the written word. Especially in any electronic medium, where people very much tend to skim, instead of reading.

I wholeheartedly agree with this! I could understand the OP perfectly.

I, too, had no trouble understanding her.  I simply have trouble taking her seriously because of her writing style, or lack thereof.  She presented herself very poorly to a group of people who expect a certain level of decorum.  A fact which is obvious if one reads even a minute fraction of postings.

I have read plenty of posts on this board which have appalling spelling, grammar and syntax. There are one or two posters whose posts I always skip because they are frankly non-comprehensible.  This attack on the OP of this thread does look as if it is directed to her as a teen.

[Docslady21]

Like, totally, dude....just ignore.

For future reference, Ivy League schools do look at language skills, such as capitalization, punctuation and word usage when considering applications.

I doubt someone who is in the running for valedictorian writes this way on her term papers. She already agreed to correct her form. It's not constructive to mock her style of speaking either. She's just a kid.

I would hope that someone in the running for valedictorian would recognize the importance of presenting herself well to her teachers and to college acceptance boards, and tailor her wording appropriately. 

I would also think that the same candidate would recognize the importance of presenting herself well on an etiquette board.  Further, I would hope that she had looked into the board thoroughly enough to tailor her wording appropriately here as well.

I guess I just don't understand how making fun of her helps make your desired result come to fruition. It's unkind. 

[Namárië]

A kid who wants to be valedictorian should be paying attention in class instead of fiddling with her phone!

Many schools in the US are on spring break this week, I find the assumption that she is replying in class to be..... uncharitable. 

I know we've been burned  by trolls and sockpuppets in the past on this board,  but it is NO to dismiss a legitimate etiquette questions simply because the poster has identified herself as a teen.  Or tell her to go away she is too young. It strikes me as exclusionary.  There have been several regular posters that have been on the board while in high school and through college that have contributed thoughtful points of view to several threads.

OP: There has been some really good advice given, don't act on your emotions (I know, tough to do )  Process some of this information and really think about it before you act.

She said herself that she was in class, it was not an assumption at all.

Yes, I was going by the OP saying that she was in first period, and it was meant in a friendly teasing manner. That's why I used the tongue-sticky-outy face.

[Docslady21]

A kid who wants to be valedictorian should be paying attention in class instead of fiddling with her phone!

Many schools in the US are on spring break this week, I find the assumption that she is replying in class to be..... uncharitable. 

I know we've been burned  by trolls and sockpuppets in the past on this board,  but it is NO to dismiss a legitimate etiquette questions simply because the poster has identified herself as a teen.  Or tell her to go away she is too young. It strikes me as exclusionary.  There have been several regular posters that have been on the board while in high school and through college that have contributed thoughtful points of view to several threads.

OP: There has been some really good advice given, don't act on your emotions (I know, tough to do )  Process some of this information and really think about it before you act.

She said herself that she was in class, it was not an assumption at all.

Yes, I was going by the OP saying that she was in first period, and it was meant in a friendly teasing manner. That's why I used the tongue-sticky-outy face.

I'm sure lots of us should be doing something other than posting on ehell right now. I may or may not be one of them.

[Zilla]

Just wanted to clarify that in no way was I attacking the OP nor was I criticizing because she was a teen.


I politely asked if she could capitalize her posts.  She politely replied she would.  I have told other posters the exact same thing and I have seen others state the exact same thing. 


I have a vision issue and it is hard for me to read it.  While it may be fine for others, it doesn't make it wrong when it isn't for me.


What I do mind is the chastising by Toots, that was uncalled for.


Snipped from Toots:
Can we all not pile on the newbie? Esp. in this scoldy way? Kids get enough of that from the people who ARE in authority over them.Surely we can be collegial? Oh, and OP: I had absolutely no trouble understanding what you were talking about, and I personally wasn't bothered by your lack of capitalization. However, I thought I'd mention that people on this particular board aren't very flexible about capitalization, etc., whether the person they're correcting is a grownup or a teenager. And it is true that capital letters and punctuation make it much easier to comprehend the written word. Especially in any electronic medium, where people very much tend to skim, instead of reading.

[Harriet Jones]

I, too, had no trouble understanding her.  I simply have trouble taking her seriously because of her writing style, or lack thereof.  She presented herself very poorly to a group of people who expect a certain level of decorum.  A fact which is obvious if one reads even a minute fraction of postings.

I have read plenty of posts on this board which have appalling spelling, grammar and syntax. There are one or two posters whose posts I always skip because they are frankly non-comprehensible.  This attack on the OP of this thread does look as if it is directed to her as a teen.

I also skip over a few posters whose stream-of-consciousness style makes their posts difficult to read.  However, there have been plenty of times where (presumably adult) posters here have been asked to break up long paragraphs, not use txtspeak, and/or use proper capitalization to help their posts be more readable.  Those are relatively easy fixes.

[Jones]

I'm sure lots of us should be doing something other than posting on ehell right now. I may or may not be one of them.

[Jones jumps guiltily, looks around, starts to whistle a little while walking away from the computer....] lol

OP I hope you let us know how the talk went, I for one am interested in how the story continues.

[Firecat]

Just wanted to clarify that in no way was I attacking the OP nor was I criticizing because she was a teen.


I politely asked if she could capitalize her posts.  She politely replied she would.  I have told other posters the exact same thing and I have seen others state the exact same thing. 


I have a vision issue and it is hard for me to read it.  While it may be fine for others, it doesn't make it wrong when it isn't for me.


What I do mind is the chastising by Toots, that was uncalled for.


Snipped from Toots:
Can we all not pile on the newbie? Esp. in this scoldy way? Kids get enough of that from the people who ARE in authority over them.Surely we can be collegial? Oh, and OP: I had absolutely no trouble understanding what you were talking about, and I personally wasn't bothered by your lack of capitalization. However, I thought I'd mention that people on this particular board aren't very flexible about capitalization, etc., whether the person they're correcting is a grownup or a teenager. And it is true that capital letters and punctuation make it much easier to comprehend the written word. Especially in any electronic medium, where people very much tend to skim, instead of reading.

For what it's worth, Zilla, I podded Toots not because of the first request to use capitalization, which was polite.

For me, it was the continued piling on, after the OP had acknowledged and corrected the issue in her subsequent posts.

It was the continuation of comment (some of it pretty snide) after the issue had been addressed that was/is getting to me and, presumably, others. It seems pretty harsh, especially for a poster who is new to the boards.

Honestly, if I'd been on the receiving end of some of those comments when I was brand new here, I doubt I'd be posting here anymore.

[Docslady21]

Zilla, I thought your capitals post was kindly worded and I was only referring to posts that I felt were commenting on her intelligence and I will take the risk of saying that I believe Toots was referring to the same.

I certainly think it's perfectly fair to tell someone how to structure their posts for better readability and therefore, more responses.


(Edited to add name so the poster knew who I was responding to.)

[TootsNYC]

Just wanted to clarify that in no way was I attacking the OP nor was I criticizing because she was a teen.


I politely asked if she could capitalize her posts.  She politely replied she would.  I have told other posters the exact same thing and I have seen others state the exact same thing. 


I have a vision issue and it is hard for me to read it.  While it may be fine for others, it doesn't make it wrong when it isn't for me.


What I do mind is the chastising by Toots, that was uncalled for.

For what it's worth, Zilla, I podded Toots not because of the first request to use capitalization, which was polite.

For me, it was the continued piling on, after the OP had acknowledged and corrected the issue in her subsequent posts.

It was the continuation of comment (some of it pretty snide) after the issue had been addressed that was/is getting to me and, presumably, others. It seems pretty harsh, especially for a poster who is new to the boards.

Honestly, if I'd been on the receiving end of some of those comments when I was brand new here, I doubt I'd be posting here anymore.

And it was not the first request that seemed rude. It was specifically the "piling on" that I objected to.

[MOM21SON]

Just wanted to clarify that in no way was I attacking the OP nor was I criticizing because she was a teen.


I politely asked if she could capitalize her posts.  She politely replied she would.  I have told other posters the exact same thing and I have seen others state the exact same thing. 


I have a vision issue and it is hard for me to read it.  While it may be fine for others, it doesn't make it wrong when it isn't for me.


What I do mind is the chastising by Toots, that was uncalled for.

For what it's worth, Zilla, I podded Toots not because of the first request to use capitalization, which was polite.

For me, it was the continued piling on, after the OP had acknowledged and corrected the issue in her subsequent posts.

It was the continuation of comment (some of it pretty snide) after the issue had been addressed that was/is getting to me and, presumably, others. It seems pretty harsh, especially for a poster who is new to the boards.

Honestly, if I'd been on the receiving end of some of those comments when I was brand new here, I doubt I'd be posting here anymore.

And it was not the first request that seemed rude. It was specifically the "piling on" that I objected to.

I agree.  The snide comments were uncalled for, especially for an etiquette board. 

[bellacullen]

Wow, this thread really took off huh?  Ok well, let me start off by saying that my English teacher has spoken with me about my punctuation and capitalization as well. (Mostly on my rough drafts) I type very fast; I also have the habit of speaking out loud what I want to put to paper. Unfortunately, this ends up in my written word being poorly punctuated and not capitalized and sounding as though I were speaking with a friend. 

For school papers I always go back through what I have written and edit for these errors. I guess I didn’t realize that it would be such a sore point for an internet forum. I apologize and will endeavor to use proper capitalization and punctuation in the future. 

Now; as for the situation with Bree, we went to grab something to eat after school but before practice. I sat with her and I told her that I was excited to have been made captain for next year and how I wasn’t sure I would be appointed, especially as her back tuck is much stronger than mine. I then told her that, as the two people who were in the running to be captain, I would be honored if she would consider being my co-captain. I never once let on that I knew what she had said. So I guess, ultimately, I took my mother’s advice, with a little thrown in from here.

Bree was very excited about the co-captain offer, and accepted. I think at this point I will have to agree that Bree was just really upset and spoke in the heat of the moment. 

Thank you to those of you who provided me with advice, I greatly appreciate it. 

As for my age, I didn’t think that this was an adult exclusive board. I will take great pains to correct my typing for legibility but I am unable to do anything about my age.

[jedikaiti]

You handled the situation with Bree BEAUTIFULLY.

As for the other stuff, you should definitely keep an eye on your writing regardless of medium - writing well will never do you harm, but writing as though you're texting a friend should only be done when you're texting a friend, and could cast you in a bad light in other situations. The good news is, it's like cheerleading (or really, anything else) - the more you practice, the easier it gets. :-)

Don't worry about the age - growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be. ;-)

[Jones]

Don't worry about the age - growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be. ;-)

Pea in a POD there...

Thanks for the update!