Etiquette School is in session! > The Ehell Guide to Never Behaving Badly

The Etiquette of the Childfree

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kherbert05:

Parents -  Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I don't understand them. In my case I'm a teacher.


Don't yell at me for addressing your child, when I'm apologizing for nearly running into them with the grocery cart because I saw them at the last minute.



Please for the love of everything don't force your child to have physical contact with anyone. It is completely the wrong message to send. Yes verbal kids should say hello, engage in polite conversation for short periods, and say good bye. They should not be forced to hug or kiss people. (Handshakes are ok.)


When I jump away from your kid - and everyone in the room who knows me is scrambling to grab him before can hug me - LISTEN. I'm not a horrible person who is being mean to your kid. Your kid has cracker jacks in his hands and I'm allergic. It has been 7 years and this woman still talks about the time I was mean to precious. Oh and my Mom had died the day we met at my sister's house. She wanted me to leave since precious was making me nervous. Thankfully sis and her friends don't like her or her kid much, so she isn't around very often. She is only around when all the husbands are there also. (She is the wife of BIL's friend)


Childfree -
Kids do have a right to be in public.


Stop screaming about unattended children at the library
a) Harris county policy says kids have an equal right to be at the library as you (see policy here go down to section e)
b) Harris county does not require the children have an adult with them
c) they are behaving appropriately - you on the other hand are screaming in the library. 


At a restaurant where you order at the counter. Just because my niece, nephew, and cousin are under 18 doesn't mean they can't sit at a table drinking their drinks while I pick up our lunches from the counter (took me multiple trips - the crowd was to dense for the kids to carry their own food). You don't get to order them to move because your party wants the table. Woman was going to do the self same thing, sit and wait for her party to get her food.  She raised such a fuss the manager asked her party to leave, and gave the kids a brownie for being so polite.

snowdragon:

--- Quote from: Black Delphinium on April 07, 2012, 05:43:00 PM ---For the child-free: Recoiling from a child's attempt to initial physical contact is every bit as rude as recoiling from an adult. There are better ways to react.

For parents: Not everyone wants to engage in physical contact with your child(ren). Telling little Jenny to "give Del a kiss" without establishing that Del is okay with kid kisses is presumptuous and rude.

--- End quote ---

Sorry, I disagree. No one has to suffer unwanted contact no matter who it's from.  There may be  more and less polite ways to handle it but simply refusing to be touched when you do not want  physical contact is not rude. I've seen threads here on how to avoid unwanted contact crossing your arms in front of you, offering a stiff armed handshake, ect, one should not be forced to submit to unwanted contact just because a kid is involved.

cabbagegirl28:

--- Quote from: snowdragon on April 07, 2012, 06:34:15 PM ---
--- Quote from: Black Delphinium on April 07, 2012, 05:43:00 PM ---For the child-free: Recoiling from a child's attempt to initial physical contact is every bit as rude as recoiling from an adult. There are better ways to react.

For parents: Not everyone wants to engage in physical contact with your child(ren). Telling little Jenny to "give Del a kiss" without establishing that Del is okay with kid kisses is presumptuous and rude.

--- End quote ---

Sorry, I disagree. No one has to suffer unwanted contact no matter who it's from.  There may be  more and less polite ways to handle it but simply refusing to be touched when you do not want  physical contact is not rude. I've seen threads here on how to avoid unwanted contact crossing your arms in front of you, offering a stiff armed handshake, ect, one should not be forced to submit to unwanted contact just because a kid is involved.

--- End quote ---

Seriously. If someone touched me without my permission, I'd yank myself away as fast I could. Now, if it were a child, I would try not to hurt the child in doing so, because he/she may not understand boundaries and is probably smaller than I am. However, all I would do is move as quickly as I could and say, "Don't touch me." I wouldn't have a pluperfect fit over it (not saying that you implied that, Black Delphinium), but it's not bad for me to back away from them.

shhh its me:

--- Quote from: snowdragon on April 07, 2012, 06:34:15 PM ---
--- Quote from: Black Delphinium on April 07, 2012, 05:43:00 PM ---For the child-free: Recoiling from a child's attempt to initial physical contact is every bit as rude as recoiling from an adult. There are better ways to react.

For parents: Not everyone wants to engage in physical contact with your child(ren). Telling little Jenny to "give Del a kiss" without establishing that Del is okay with kid kisses is presumptuous and rude.

--- End quote ---

Sorry, I disagree. No one has to suffer unwanted contact no matter who it's from.  There may be  more and less polite ways to handle it but simply refusing to be touched when you do not want  physical contact is not rude. I've seen threads here on how to avoid unwanted contact crossing your arms in front of you, offering a stiff armed handshake, ect, one should not be forced to submit to unwanted contact just because a kid is involved.

--- End quote ---
I think that's actually what OP was saying , the actual act of recoiling not avoiding contact even backing away is not the same as recoiling.

Black Delphinium:

--- Quote from: Merry Mrs Martin on April 07, 2012, 06:41:04 PM ---
--- Quote from: snowdragon on April 07, 2012, 06:34:15 PM ---
--- Quote from: Black Delphinium on April 07, 2012, 05:43:00 PM ---For the child-free: Recoiling from a child's attempt to initial physical contact is every bit as rude as recoiling from an adult. There are better ways to react.

For parents: Not everyone wants to engage in physical contact with your child(ren). Telling little Jenny to "give Del a kiss" without establishing that Del is okay with kid kisses is presumptuous and rude.

--- End quote ---

Sorry, I disagree. No one has to suffer unwanted contact no matter who it's from.  There may be  more and less polite ways to handle it but simply refusing to be touched when you do not want  physical contact is not rude. I've seen threads here on how to avoid unwanted contact crossing your arms in front of you, offering a stiff armed handshake, ect, one should not be forced to submit to unwanted contact just because a kid is involved.

--- End quote ---
I think that's actually what OP was saying , the actual act of recoiling not avoiding contact even backing away is not the same as recoiling.

--- End quote ---
Thank you, yes, that was the point I was trying to make. It's okay to refuse,but unless there is a case like kherbert05's where there is genuine threat of illness or harm, recoiling(which to me implies making a scene) is a rude act.

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