ADHD

[NEDESAPIO]

As I've said before on this Forum, I work as a teacher at a learning center, a place for children who have trouble in school.  Some of my students are ADHD, what used to be called just "ADD," or Attention Deficit Disorder.  This story concerns "Sally," an eight-year-old girl I've mentioned here before.  Sally has been coming to the center for a year; she is very bright and talkative to the point of being distractable.  However, she's been improving a lot in the last months, especially in her oral reading.  She's always had a good attitude and doesn't get frustrated or discouraged easily.

Yesterday, Sally came in for her scheduled session a half-hour late.  Her mother came in with her; the normally cheerful Sally was upset and crying.  While Sally used the restroom, her mother took me aside and told me that Sally had "just been diagnosed with ADHD," which means "she has trouble paying attention and following directions."  The mother seemed very frustrated and depressed.  Now, I know nothing about ADHD, and in fact it's not my job to discuss the children with their parents; that's the job of the Education Director, and I (politely) told Sally's mother this. 

What bothers me is the following.  Here is this bright child who has been making progress during the past year.  Suddenly, she and her family receive a professional verdict of ADHD.  This is supposed to mean she can't follow directions or pay attention for long.  But in fact, she follows directions very well and is much less distractable than she used to be.  Yesterday she was crying when she came in, but once her mother left she was fine and did very well in her work.  As I said, I know little about the subject, but it seems to me that labels like "ADHD" can easily become crippling:  they can make the child believe he or she can't do certain things well, and before long "ADHD" can become a crutch or excuse for poor work.

What do you think?           

[momto3daughters]

Honestly,
I know that my oldest daughter has some issues, I have looked into and have a what I feel is figured out what is "wrong" with her, but knowing my child's personality a "label" will do more harm than good with her and at this point id rather deal with her "quirks" than crush an all ready fragil child's ego.

I think that yes lables can be a good thing but also can be a bad thing.

[RuneGuardian]

Things like ADHD and ADD in children are so grossly overdiagnosed anymore. Maybe she has a hard time paying attention - what kid her age doesn't have that problem? I have yet to see a child at that age who can quietly sit still and behave constantly, and I would be more worried about a kid who acted this way than one who was slightly to very distracting. Either the mother is overreacting, or just looking for some kind of validation for her poor parenting techniques.

[FoxPaws]

I was diagnosed at 35 and one of my first thoughts was how much less of a nightmare my school days would have been had I known what the problem was then.

ADHD kids (and adults) often react much better in one-on-one and small group settings than in a regular classroom - you may not have noticed a problem because the environment she's in with you counteracts it. However, in a regular classroom, surrounded by distractions, with no one to help her stay focused, she could be having major problems.

ADHD is a condition, not a curse. Managed correctly, there's no reason this little girl can't continue to blossom. ADHDers are: bright, creative, empathetic, optomistic, energetic, and capable. Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison were both thought to have ADD.

I strongly reccommend the book, "Driven to Distraction" by Edward M. Hallowell. It gives a good overview and has a great attitude toward managing ADD and making it work for the people who have it instead of against them.

[Evil Duckie]

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[NotCinderell]

That's funny.  When I was diagnosed at 24, I thought of it as validating.  There's a book on adult ADHD called "So you mean I'm not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?"  That's how I felt.

I think that Sally's mother could have gone a lot further in helping Sally be comfortable with her diagnosis.  Rather than being disappointed in her for being diagnosed with a learning disability, she should have emphasized all the things that a learning disability does not mean, and how much better Sally will function in school and in life knowing that she has a condition and isn't just dumb or spacy.

[hobish]

As I've said before on this Forum, I work as a teacher at a learning center, a place for children who have trouble in school.  Some of my students are ADHD, what used to be called just "ADD," or Attention Deficit Disorder.  This story concerns "Sally," an eight-year-old girl I've mentioned here before.  Sally has been coming to the center for a year; she is very bright and talkative to the point of being distractable.  However, she's been improving a lot in the last months, especially in her oral reading.  She's always had a good attitude and doesn't get frustrated or discouraged easily.

Yesterday, Sally came in for her scheduled session a half-hour late.  Her mother came in with her; the normally cheerful Sally was upset and crying.  While Sally used the restroom, her mother took me aside and told me that Sally had "just been diagnosed with ADHD," which means "she has trouble paying attention and following directions."  The mother seemed very frustrated and depressed.  Now, I know nothing about ADHD, and in fact it's not my job to discuss the children with their parents; that's the job of the Education Director, and I (politely) told Sally's mother this. 

What bothers me is the following.  Here is this bright child who has been making progress during the past year.  Suddenly, she and her family receive a professional verdict of ADHD.  This is supposed to mean she can't follow directions or pay attention for long.  But in fact, she follows directions very well and is much less distractable than she used to be.  Yesterday she was crying when she came in, but once her mother left she was fine and did very well in her work.  As I said, I know little about the subject, but it seems to me that labels like "ADHD" can easily become crippling:  they can make the child believe he or she can't do certain things well, and before long "ADHD" can become a crutch or excuse for poor work.

What do you think?           

I have seen that happen not so much with ADD/ADHD; but with ODD - opositional defiance disorder. i.e. "Oh, my 10 year old has ODD; you can't tell him what to do or he won't do it. He really hates being told what he can & can't do. It makes him argumentative and defiant."
 Wha...?

[NEDESAPIO]

Rather than being disappointed in her for being diagnosed with a learning disability...

Actually, I wouldn't say that Sally's mother was disappointed in Sally; she acted more as though some giant burden had just been laid on Sally and the rest of the family, and as though Sally was somehow suddenly a different girl because she'd been officially diagnosed with ADHD.   

[Gwywnnydd]

Things like ADHD and ADD in children are so grossly overdiagnosed anymore. Maybe she has a hard time paying attention - what kid her age doesn't have that problem? I have yet to see a child at that age who can quietly sit still and behave constantly, and I would be more worried about a kid who acted this way than one who was slightly to very distracting. Either the mother is overreacting, or just looking for some kind of validation for her poor parenting techniques.

Or, another possibility, the girl really does have ADHD. I agree that ADD/ADHD is overdiagnosed, but that doesn't mean it doesn't *exist*. My two stepsons both have ADHD. They both have problems in school (we're working on getting them into a more focused environment, but we don't (yet) have primary custody). As has been mentioned already in this thread, one-on-one teaching and tutoring works much better than trying to concentrate in a class of 25-35 people.

[BatCity]

First off, my own experience, then I'll try to give you some insight as to what you can do now.

My daughter's ADHD diagnosis was the best day of her life.  She was six and in her second go-round with Kindergarten.  She had always been immature and had trouble controlling her impulses, but by that time she was coming home crying, saying things like "I don't know what's wrong with me!"  She would try and try to behave in class but would always get in trouble anyway.

I finally took her to a pediatric neurologist and she started responding to treatment immediately.  She is now happy, well-behaved and no less energetic than she was before...she can just control herself now, when she has to.

As a teacher, I think the best thing to do is let it blow over with the daughter.  After a few days or weeks she will figure out that she is still the same person she was before, as will her mom.  Let them figure out how to handle the diagnosis within the family.

Hope that helps,
Lara

[Musicwoman]

As a teacher I can see both sides of this issue.

Yes, ADHD and similar conditions are grossly overdiagnosed.  Yes, the child's issues are often due to no more than bad behaviour and/or negligent parenting.  Yes, enabling or entitled parents often doctor-shop until they find someone (anyone!) willing to give them the diagnosis they want.

BUT...

ADHD is a genuine medical condition.  Undiagnosed and unaddressed it will blight a child's life, practically guarantee an atrocious school experience, and shatter their self-esteem.  Like autism, it is a spectrum of varying behaviours and difficult to diagnose.  There may be atypical presentations, and even a typical presentation can look like nothing more than bad behaviour to a layperson. 

The situation may be complicated by the fact it's a hereditary condition, meaning at least one parent may also be affected.  Undiagnosed ADHD, with its issues of low self-esteem and fear of authority, may not make for parent of the year.  In other words, the child may have lousy parents and ADHD: one does not preclude the other.

In the West Australian public education system, labels are important.  A badly behaved child is not eligible for aide time.  A child with a diagnosed disability such as ADHD is.  So here, that label would ensure that the child receives the special help and consideration she needs, instead of being left alone in the classroom to struggle with only the best efforts of an overworked teacher.

As the mother of an autistic child, I can tell you that having my beautiful boy diagnosed was a dreadful shock.  Psychologists refer to it as dealing with the death of the ideal child.  I had plans, expectations, dreams for my little one; suddenly I was told they may never be possible.  Will he be able to live alone, hold down a job, marry, have children?  8 years down the track, I still don't know.  I love my son dearly, but a diagnosis takes your "normal" child away from you for ever and it's not unreasonable for parents to mourn that loss. 

It's also not unreasonable for Sally to mourn that loss.  In a way, the diagnosis would be a relief to her; there's a reason for her difficulties.  The flip side is that the reason is A Disability which will never go away and will colour her entire life, for good or bad. 

Be there for them and stay strong.  Teachers/teacher figures who treat this stuff professionally and matter-of-factly are a godsend to parents. 

[dawbs]

to jump in a little late...(and rambling...since I can't seem to form good sentences today...maybe because I have a lot to say here  sorry)

aA someone w/ ADHD who works in education, I do think I understand both sides.

In some ways, because of my personality, I do consider it something of a blessing I didn't have a diagnosis when I was a kid (I was diagnosed while in college, and ignored the diagnosis for the first few years out of pure cussedness) ...it kept me from being able to use it as a crutch.  (of course, I had the blessing/curse of being raised by educators, so I had more coping mechanisms ready for me than your average kid). 

I do take issue w/ some posters automatically saying it's a result of over diagnosis...I do see the problem of over-diagnosis in some of the schools I work in, (parents who doctor shop and ADHD as an excuse) but in other schools I work in (especially poorer schools and/or extremely rural or urban schools) there is still a lot of backlash against "over diagnosis"  and kids who may have such a disorder are not diagnosed and (especially girls, anyone who has an "inattentive" rather than "hyperactive" form) are not sent for treatment because of the social stigma and the assumed implied accusation of bad parenting. 
("what, someone is implying my child might have a LD?  how dare you judge my kid/imply I'm a bad parent/try to brainwash us" is the reaction to the suggestion...)

(There is over-diagnosis, there is under diagnosis, an unfortunately if you read a lot of the research, the lines between the 2 extremes are often drawn along $ lines)

(and as far as all kids acting that way...of course it works that way.  I can read the symptoms of clinical depression and say "yeah, I have some of these", because everyone has some of them...but since I have *some* of them to a very mild degree and  they don't interfere w/ my life, chances are I don't have clinical depression.
Same goes for ADHD.  If someone is mildly inattentive and that inattention is the only symptom, chances are, no, there is no ADHD.  But that is far from the only criteria used for a diagnosis.  And there is a difference between 'normal' childhood distractability and the inability to function in certain situations because of attention issues.  If it interferes w/ normal life, chances are it's not just childhood distractability.)


I do see how it can be used as a crutch...In what can be a good or bad moment of substitute teaching years ago, I had a kid say "I can't sit down and do this, I have ADHD" and I floored the room with "so do I, you can do it, you just may have to do it differently or work harder".  I might have lost some points w/ the school's principal, but I gained some w/ the kids...

Personally, understanding my ADHD did wonders for me. 
I was able to develop and improve my coping mechanisms because I understood that some of my "quirks" were things I did for a reason, etc.  I didn't/don't think I use the "it's not my fault I did X, I have ADHD" line; I do understand the uses of:
 "I am more comfortable with X, and less comfortable with Y because of my ADHD, how can I use this to my advantage?" 
"knowing that X is a challenge for the following (ADHD related) reasons....., how can I make sure that I succeed in X?"
My ADHD diagnosis allowed me to break the cycle of eating disorders that I had built up to regain control.  My diagnosis, even without drug treatment (I don't medicate for various reasons I won't get into) helps me understand and exploit my strengths and compensate for my weaknesses.


I DO wish people who gave diagnosis would encourage people to sit through a run-down of what the disability (and I use that term loosely, ADHD can be empowering too :-) entails.  Because if all that mom got was ""she has trouble paying attention and following directions." there are going to be bigger issues...because ADHD is NOT just a learning disability (any more than autism or blindness or schizophrenia could be considered purely a learning disability), it's a part of this kids life and it is not just about paying attention.  In fact, if this child uses hyper-focus, it can be a problem of paying to much attention...

I know the OP isn't the person who deals w/ these things, but if it comes up again, could you gently point the parents to their local CHADD chapter?  (http://www.chadd.org/)  some CHADD groups are better than others, but they can at least point them toward good resources.

(I would also highly, highly recommend Hallowell and Ratey's books the "driven to distraction" series)

[Suze]

We have a young man (12 ish at the time) in our SCA group that the first thing out of his mouth was "I have ADHD, so I can't help myself it I am noisy or if I can't control myself"   ACKKK

While I feel that letting other people know that a child has a problem is perfectly ok, the fact that THIS KID didn't even say hello first.  These were the first words out of his mouth to us.

He has used it as an excuse for years now, (he is about 20).

I feel that, yes, if I know that the child has a problem, it can be easier to dismiss some of the behavior problems.  (such as talking up a storm, Little Mr. Question Box.) But after a time the explanation becomes an excuse and then the excuse becomes a crutch and then the child becomes Little Mr. Entitlement Boy because "you can't blame me, you know I have ADHD." 

It may take a little longer to learn but by the time you are 18 you should be able to sit still for 5 min and not "overtalk" everyone.

My friends one son has ADHD and at 14 he can be a reasonable human being to be around (When the smart-butt teenager gene is dormant anyway ) Unless he hasn't taken his meds for the day, and then you want to hang him from a hook.  So I know it can be done.

[hobish]

We have a young man (12 ish at the time) in our SCA group that the first thing out of his mouth was "I have ADHD, so I can't help myself it I am noisy or if I can't control myself"   ACKKK

While I feel that letting other people know that a child has a problem is perfectly ok, the fact that THIS KID didn't even say hello first.  These were the first words out of his mouth to us.

He has used it as an excuse for years now, (he is about 20).

I feel that, yes, if I know that the child has a problem, it can be easier to dismiss some of the behavior problems.  (such as talking up a storm, Little Mr. Question Box.) But after a time the explanation becomes an excuse and then the excuse becomes a crutch and then the child becomes Little Mr. Entitlement Boy because "you can't blame me, you know I have ADHD." 

It may take a little longer to learn but by the time you are 18 you should be able to sit still for 5 min and not "overtalk" everyone.

My friends one son has ADHD and at 14 he can be a reasonable human being to be around (When the smart-butt teenager gene is dormant anyway ) Unless he hasn't taken his meds for the day, and then you want to hang him from a hook.  So I know it can be done.

OT'ish a bit, since you said he uses it as an excuse at age 20, but i kind of know how he feels with that being the 1st thing he says. I have a mild mental condition that i find myself over-explaining to people that really don't need to know & probably wouldn't even had noticed unless they get to know me pretty well. It's not so much an excuse as a cause for embarassment (for me). I've watched my ADD/schizophrenic/diabetic godson go through frustration & then shame enough to know i am not the only one.

 

[Suze]

We have a young man (12 ish at the time) in our SCA group that the first thing out of his mouth was "I have ADHD, so I can't help myself it I am noisy or if I can't control myself"   ACKKK

While I feel that letting other people know that a child has a problem is perfectly ok, the fact that THIS KID didn't even say hello first.  These were the first words out of his mouth to us.

He has used it as an excuse for years now, (he is about 20).

I feel that, yes, if I know that the child has a problem, it can be easier to dismiss some of the behavior problems.  (such as talking up a storm, Little Mr. Question Box.) But after a time the explanation becomes an excuse and then the excuse becomes a crutch and then the child becomes Little Mr. Entitlement Boy because "you can't blame me, you know I have ADHD." 

It may take a little longer to learn but by the time you are 18 you should be able to sit still for 5 min and not "overtalk" everyone.

My friends one son has ADHD and at 14 he can be a reasonable human being to be around (When the smart-butt teenager gene is dormant anyway ) Unless he hasn't taken his meds for the day, and then you want to hang him from a hook.  So I know it can be done.

OT'ish a bit, since you said he uses it as an excuse at age 20, but i kind of know how he feels with that being the 1st thing he says. I have a mild mental condition that i find myself over-explaining to people that really don't need to know & probably wouldn't even had noticed unless they get to know me pretty well. It's not so much an excuse as a cause for embarassment (for me). I've watched my ADD/schizophrenic/diabetic godson go through frustration & then shame enough to know i am not the only one.

 

Well this one can be decent - he just doesn't want to be.- His MOTHER would not do anything to even try to help him control himself.  He learned from her that he could use his ADHD as a little one man entitlement to do whatever he wanted to do and get away with it. 

a for instance - he would routinely run through the kitchen areas at events.  One time we had to skimp on a dish becase when he ran through the kitchen he knocked over half the ingredents.  He didn't need to be in there in the first place, and his excuse was "I have ADHD and you know I can't help myself for doing it"  shrugged and ran off.  And I do mean run, full tilt, knock over little old ladies, run. (He did that too, at 15, and didn't even say excuse me)

He learned it from his mother, anything that he would do that was anywhere out of line, and by that I mean stuff that would have gotten a two year old corrected, She would just shrug and say that he had ADHD and couldn't control himself. 

If you can read, you can notice the sign on the door that said STAY OUT

He would tell people that right off so that he could run wild and get away with it.  As I said my friends one son has it too and he can sit and be decent and does not tell everyone about it, at all.