Mothers Day card question.

[SiotehCat]

My SMIL lost her mother in February. She was 90 years old, but still unexpected. She mailed out small packages that announced her mothers passing and also a pamphlet type book about her mothers life with some nice pictures. She put the wrong address on ours, so it got returned to sender.

When we visited for Easter, she told us about her mother and gave us our package. As soon as we got home, we mailed a condolence card.

Yesterday, we were buying our Mothers Day cards. Buying hers is a tough one because she didn't raise DH and a lot of those cards mention that. So, we were looking and looking for the perfect card and DH spotted a "Loss of mother" Mothers Day card.

He thinks that is the most appropriate thing to send. I think it looks like another condolence card and we just sent one of those.

What is the most appropriate card to send in this situation?

[Bibliophile]

I wouldn't send one that mentions the loss of a mother - I'd go the blank card route & write a nice note if you aren't able to find a less smarmy/thank you for raising me type card.

[Shoo]

I think that if you can't find one that specifically addresses your husband's relationship (SMIL), then a pretty blank card with some heartfelt words written by him would be nice.  I don't think mentioning her mother's passing would be appropriate.  She will, no doubt, be thinking about it, but it might be nice if she were reminded of how important SHE has been to her step-son.  Something to replace sadness with gladness.

[Hmmmmm]

Personally, if SMIL made the effort to design a pamphlet and send out upon her mother's death, then I think she would actually appreciate receiving a card that acknowledge's her loss on Mother's Day. 

Some people don't like be reminding of sad events.  Others appreciate people recognizing they may be going through a tough time. 

I would have your husband right something personal to her about his and her relationship.

[Thipu1]

I think that if you can't find one that specifically addresses your husband's relationship (SMIL), then a pretty blank card with some heartfelt words written by him would be nice.  I don't think mentioning her mother's passing would be appropriate.  She will, no doubt, be thinking about it, but it might be nice if she were reminded of how important SHE has been to her step-son.  Something to replace sadness with gladness.

I agree with this totally. 

For many reasons, Mother's Day can be problematic.  A thoughtful note may be difficult to write but it's still easier than trying to find an appropriate card. 

[MrsJWine]

I wouldn't send one that mentions the loss of a mother - I'd go the blank card route & write a nice note if you aren't able to find a less smarmy/thank you for raising me type card.

I think you should do this, but go ahead and mention something like, "We know this Mother's Day must be hard for you with the recent loss of ______..." That way you acknowledge the loss she must feel especially on that day, but it's not a condolence card. Many people who have lost close loved ones have told me that one of the hardest things is when people avoid mentioning the dead person at all. You can acknowledge her without making the whole card a downer.

[Winterlight]

I think a note would be better than a card.

[gramma dishes]

I wouldn't send one that mentions the loss of a mother - I'd go the blank card route & write a nice note if you aren't able to find a less smarmy/thank you for raising me type card.

I think you should do this, but go ahead and mention something like, "We know this Mother's Day must be hard for you with the recent loss of ______..." That way you acknowledge the loss she must feel especially on that day, but it's not a condolence card. Many people who have lost close loved ones have told me that one of the hardest things is when people avoid mentioning the dead person at all. You can acknowledge her without making the whole card a downer.

I agree with MrsJWine totally.  I'd begin the card with her words and then move on to your DH mentioning why she is special to him.  It wouldn't have to be more than a couple of sentences, but I think it would mean a lot to her.

[jmarvellous]

I, too, find Mother's Day cards overly sappy/specific. I have bought my mom a pretty, generic thanks-for-being-you card with lots of room for a personalized message. I would do this for SMIL and be sure to express ongoing condolences, too.