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From the blog - Daddy's Little Girl (long)

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HonorH:

--- Quote from: djinnidjream on April 13, 2012, 12:49:50 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dark Magdalena on April 13, 2012, 11:09:14 AM ---
--- Quote from: Lillie82 on April 13, 2012, 10:42:00 AM ---
--- Quote from: AngelicGamer on April 11, 2012, 12:28:57 AM ---

It seems like the kiddo has made up her mind who to trust too, at least at the moment.  The dad can be there on milestones as much as he wants, but it doesn't make up for being there more. 

--- End quote ---

This was my reaction, or close to it. I was surprised at how many of the comments on the main site were complimentary towards Mike for making an effort to be there for special ocassions, even though he lived two states away. For an aunt, uncle, grandparent, or other relative, this might indeed be admirable. Fathers are supposed to be there (with their kids) all the time. Surely the fact that the OP has been more involved in her life than her father has something to do with Sally's feelings toward each and comfort level with each.

Now, that said, I certainly won't disagree with Admin and posters who say that it's not the OP's place to interfere when he is spending time with Sally, or create conflict during that time.

The cake thing? Plenty of people do handle food with their hands. It's probably better if we don't, though.  :P

--- End quote ---

Again, I find that judgemental and unnecessary. He could just not be there at all. As for everyone needing a dad, does that mean if the dad was abusive that he hold be there anyway just ecause dads should? You don't know the circumstances (though I doubt Mike is abusive because he's allowed there) so it is unfair to judge.

--- End quote ---

I also find this quite judgemental.  We have no idea why he lives two states away- in this economy, it could be because of a job so he can support said daughter.  Since the grandparents seem to be going out of their way to make Mike feel welcome and involved, that should be a tipoff that the relationship is decent.

--- End quote ---

Yeah. Jobs don't just fall off trees (don't I know that!), and, in some industries, you may not have all that much choice of where to go for work. It could be that Mike would love to live closer to his daughter, but he just can't. He makes a special effort to see her, only to find that she sees him as a stranger. And then, to top it off, there's some smug woman who acts like she's taken his place, and she keeps finding fault with him. No wonder he was bristling.

Winterlight:

--- Quote from: Jones on April 13, 2012, 01:46:22 PM ---There are a lot of people in my town who travel to places like North Dakota and Wyoming for weeks at a time, living in mancamps, so they can send money home to the family. I'll admit it's an assumption on my part but that was the first thing I thought when I read this.

The letter writer irritated me completely when I first read this, and my reaction to her upon reading it again is the same. I wouldn't want to be friends with her.

--- End quote ---

I was thinking he might be in the military or something.

And yeah, the LW comes off as sanctimonious to me. And a little too invested in Sally's life.

AngelicGamer:
Alright - I can see I'm in the minority on the cake thing.  Even with my family, when it is just us, we still use a fork.  We might be a bit strange.  I'm okay with that.  :D  If I ever have cake with you guys, remind me that it is cake and, in the end, it won't really matter because...cake.   ;)

As for what I said about the dad - I don't really see it as judgmental but maybe bringing my own baggage without declaring.  My parents divorced when I was four and one of my mom's friends stepped up to the plate to help her a lot.  Mostly because my dad was dealing with a lot of alcohol abuse and he had to get his ducks in a row first.  After my dad cleaned up, he was allowed, at first, to see me at family functions until mom trusted him more for solo visits.  I was that shy little girl who hid behind my adoptive aunt (and real aunt too!) because I didn't recognize my dad as this calm and collected person.  What my mom's friend did was better than the LW did was she would help my dad reintroduce himself to me so I would come out of my shy shell.  I could see her getting protective if my dad ever got aggressive in little ways that just wouldn't sit right.  So I can see why I went to the conclusion I did while others went to a completely different conclusion. 

I still stick to both not coming out clean but I can see why others think the LW should have dropped it.  I didn't really see it at first and I love this site for getting so many different opinions so I can understand/see the other side of the coin.

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