You're making it impossible for me to breathe--please move on!

[VltGrantham]

All too often in the course of my job, I have people come in that clearly have on too much perfume or aftershave.  I try to conduct business with these individuals as quickly as possible and get them out of my office.  The scent alone will trigger a major headache, after that I usually get a sore throat, begin coughing, and the symptoms last for days, even weeks sometimes.

Last week I had a gentleman come in who smelled as though he had bathed in aftershave.  While helping him, I kept at a distance and did everything I could to speed him along.  By the time I had finished helping him, I was already coughing, bright red in the face, and ready to drop.  I keep a fan in the office which I point outwards from myself to try and deflect the smell, but it didn't help much in his case.  Then he wanted to linger and talk.  I went back to working on other tasks, coughing all the while, at one point, I was almost bent double in a coughing fit because I quite literally could not breathe.

He just kept on talking as though nothing was going on.  I told him several times "I have to get back to work now, please excuse me." but could not get him to leave the office.

Is there a polite way to tell someone, "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to leave.  Your perfume is making me ill."?

[Roe]

It sounds like you are super sensitive to smells.  Do you think maybe wearing a mask would help?  Have you talked to your doctor about it?

I know the issue lies with those overdosing on perfumes but that's an issue you can't really control so if I were you, I'd try to minimize the effects perfumes have on me by first, having a conversation with my doctor. 

[mrkitty]

POD. You might want to make sure you don't have asthma or another serious condition. I'm not saying this to scare you, but my brother has asthma, and on the rare occasions we see each other (we live on opposite coasts) I take extra care not to use any personal hygiene products or cosmetics that have scent in them.

I'm lucky I don't have his allergies/condition - I have my own different ones. I love perfume and scent myself, they don't bother me, but I too get a headache when someone else bathes in the stuff and the odor PRECEDES them...it fairly takes one breath away, and NOT in a good way.

Myself, I like to use a LIGHT hand when applying any scented product...I have a rule about always "trusting that one spray". I think scent should be used only to enhance one's own sense of feeling extra freshness for reasons of personal confidence...not to make a statement...

Anyway, I recognize how serious an issue this is for someone whose life can be disrupted by overuse of fragrance. I would make sure that there is no underlying more serious medical condition. And if there is, or even if there isn't but you are having ill effects from it, I think you are well within you right ask for some air. I just don't know how to do it politely...which is, I guess, why I'm here....but I guess if it's an emergency and you can't breathe, then I imagine politeness must take a back seat to survival (?) and say "please excuse me, I can't breathe....Your cologne is too heavy...please step away so I can breathe....()

[Harriet]

I have this problem and it stinks (har)

If you are being visibly affected (the coughing, redness,) you can say after a cough that has interrupted your conversation, "I'm sorry, but if a person is wearing any kind of scent or cologne I have found it to have this kind of effect on me. It's unfortunate, as I know others enjoy wearing it, but it means I have to cut this conversation short now. Can we pick this up on your next visit?" (And then hope they aren't wearing scent on their next visit.)

Works better with repeat customers, obviously, but this way you don't have to suppress your agony -- make it work for you.

[TootsNYC]

I think can absolutely say, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cut this conversation short. I'm having a very bad reaction to your aftershave. Excuse me," and leave for the bathroom. If necessary, say to a coworker on the way, "Will you see Mr. Smelly to the door?"

[mrkitty]

I have this problem and it stinks (har)

If you are being visibly affected (the coughing, redness,) you can say after a cough that has interrupted your conversation, "I'm sorry, but if a person is wearing any kind of scent or cologne I have found it to have this kind of effect on me. It's unfortunate, as I know others enjoy wearing it, but it means I have to cut this conversation short now. Can we pick this up on your next visit?" (And then hope they aren't wearing scent on their next visit.)

Works better with repeat customers, obviously, but this way you don't have to suppress your agony -- make it work for you.

This. Much better than my advice.

[VltGrantham]

Thank you all for the guidance--it will help me out a lot!

I have an allergy to "fake" scents and aerosol sprays.  For example, I used to love Yankee Candles, but I can't bear the smell anymore.  I can use cleaning products (as long as they aren't in aerosol spray form) and I don't load up on them.  I do have to use unscented laundry detergent and softener.  I'm very thankful I don't have asthma.

Glade and Airwick make me nuts.  I can even handle some perfumes and aftershaves, so long as the person doesn't wear so much.  Basically if I can smell someone's perfume only after hugging or being in very close proximity to them, it's not bad.  Plus, I can move away if it starts to affect me negatively.  But some people just come in wearing too much.  Basically if I can smell it, before I see it, and it's pungent, there's going to be an issue.

Again, I appreciate help with what to say.  It will help me out tremendously.

[VorFemme]

I remember a trainer who was allergic to colognes - I started using very lightly floral scented soap in my morning shower and a little talcum powder in the same scent.  No cologne, no deodorant (too many of those are now as highly scented as if they were "body sprays"), and double rinsing my clothes (other family members have scent allergies to detergent - I wanted to minimize any "extra" smell). 

If there is anyone that you run into on a repeat basis - could you mention if there are any products that they could use that you don't react to? 

If someone is watching you have an allergic reaction to their scent, but OBVIOUSLY not picking up that it is their scent that you are reacting to - it is perfectly acceptable to let them know that you are allergic to many scents, you seem to be reacting to theirs, and could they reschedule another time because you can no longer continue due to the "symptoms".  I've had one reaction myself (apple scented pipe tobacco - many years ago now - since smoking is no longer "done" in most workplaces) and I remember having to go home due to the symptoms not abating for hours.........

[TootsNYC]

I would never assume that someone was reacting to my scent, if they were having an obvious allergic reaction of some sort.

(of course, I don't ever wear perfume, so it would have to be my shampoo, which seldom happens to me)

But my point is that I think that it would not occur to most people that your respiratory distress is their perfume/aftershave.

[weschicky]

I think can absolutely say, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cut this conversation short. I'm having a very bad reaction to your aftershave. Excuse me," and leave for the bathroom. If necessary, say to a coworker on the way, "Will you see Mr. Smelly to the door?"

I use variations of this with my own fragrance allergy.  I've found better success if I mention that no matter how lovely a scent is, my allergies react to all scents (ie, it's not you, it's me).  I've also found that by telling people you're allergic to all fragrance, it makes it easier for someone who isn't sensitive to try to figure out what's safe and what isn't, because everything is on the taboo list.

Also, whenever possible, if I know someone is coming to visit who might not know otherwise, I make sure to warn them in advance about our fragrance free office policy.  And if Mr. Smelly is someone within the company, it may be time to discuss a fragrance free workplace of your own!

[Twik]

One doesn't have to be excessively sensitive.

I work in a building that houses a printing operation. The smell is pretty strong, and many people note it. It certainly masks most other scents.

One day, we had a customer visit. He was surrounded by an almost visible pink cloudy of scent. People from the printing part of the building were coming in asking "What IS that smell?"

[VltGrantham]

If there is anyone that you run into on a repeat basis - could you mention if there are any products that they could use that you don't react to? 

Unfortunately not.  Most of the people I deal with that have this issue are walk-ins, so I don't have the opportunity to ask them from refraining, etc.  Everyone I work with is aware of it.  My boss wears aftershave from time to time (especially if he has somewhere important to go) and it doesn't bother me since I'm very rarely close enough to him to smell it.  One of the secretaries burns a scented candle and that doesn't bother me either--but it probably has something to do with the fact that her office is quite a distance from mine and mine is also near an exterior door.

I do try to minimize the consequences to others by being as proactive as possible (i.e., the fan, etc.).  I would hate to go around telling everyone "hey, don't use that fabric softener" or something.  The only requests I try to make and only if it causes an issue, are people spraying large amounts of things like Febreeze around the building or for example, the janitor decided to use pure bleach on the floors one day.  That day I did have to go home. 

But my point is that I think that it would not occur to most people that your respiratory distress is their perfume/aftershave.

Good point--though I have to admit if I were visiting with someone who was coughing like I was, I would be a little alarmed.  Not carrying on with my conversation as though nothing was going on.

[bopper]

"Sir, I was wondering if you could do me a favor. I seem to be particularly sensitive to your aftershave and it is making me have trouble breathing.  Is there anything else you need help with?"

[Xandraea]

It sounds like you are super sensitive to smells.  Do you think maybe wearing a mask would help?  Have you talked to your doctor about it?

I know the issue lies with those overdosing on perfumes but that's an issue you can't really control so if I were you, I'd try to minimize the effects perfumes have on me by first, having a conversation with my doctor.

Agreed that you can't dictate what others do with their own bodies, to a point .. I do have asthma and allergies which will team up on me to make a nagging cough from a cold last for weeks.  I am a little bit allergic to just about everything, and people who bathe in perfumes/colognes drive me crazy.  There is one woman in my 40-person choir at church who has complained often however, about people wearing scent. She seems to be hypersensitive and once asked what I was wearing from 5 feet away, turned out she was smelling my shampoo! (a light peachy, non-floral scent I hadn't noticed since my shower 2 hours before). I offered to sit at the other end of a row, so I'd be more like 12 feet from her.  Now, while I agree _excessive fragrance_ could be cause to ask people to cease in your presence, unless she'll be buying my unscented shampoo for me, she'll not be dictating what I wash my hair with.  I know I dreaded Easter Sunday only because I would be singing up front, 2 feet from an abundance of lilies, hyacinths, etc.  We'd been reminded repeatedly to not wear scented deodorant, perfumes, lotions, etc, yet I'd be standing in a garden of allergy-aggravating flowers! I popped a 24-hr allergy pill before bedtime to give it time to kick in and brought tissues, but thankfully not many people ordered Easter flowers so the dozen or so were arranged out in the lobby rather than around the stage, much to my relief.  To a point we are responsible for our own reactions to things, so if that means keeping tissues handy, or popping an allergy pill to control it, do what you can for yourself. 

In your case, being at the desk, sort of "trapped" there, is it possible to put up a sign declaring it a scent-free zone, or, as someone suggested, making it work policy to at least lighten up on the fragrances? Otherwise, I see no problem with informing the (perhaps clueless) visitor that you are having an allergic reaction to his fragrance and you'll have to continue the business another time so you can breathe.

[VltGrantham]

Fortunately for me I'm not that sensitive.  While I can smell someone's shampoo, it doesn't cause me to have breathing problems.  And like I said, I do try to minimize the requests I make of others.  If I were that sensitive, I'm not sure how I'd ever function in public.  I'd have to stay home all the time!

I have most definitely spoken to my doctor about it.  Unfortunately, taking an allergy medication will do nothing to alleviate my issues.  I just needed a polite way to communicate the problem to strangers.