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Knitterly

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #15 on: April 19, 2012, 02:47:50 PM »
It sounds like the OPs weight has been discussed in the past w/ her Doctor & nurses & they know where she stands. When the OP is ready to discuss her weight again with them, it sounds like she will do so & take control in her own timing. It sounds like she has put much thought into this subject. If I understand correctly, the nurse prompted her & she wasn't ready to go there, so she ended the subject. When the time is right for the OP, it sounds like she is aware enough to move forward on the subject.

The POINT behind my post was that the 'accepted' phrase just rolled off my tongue without even thinking about it.  My weight is not now, nor ever will be, a topic for discussion on this list or anywhere else.

This is just my opinion, but if you have never addressed the subject of your weight with this particular nurse, how was she to know it was an out-of-bounds topic?

I feel you were quite snippy to her.

"Why would I want to do that?" would be an appropriate response to a nosy family member, friend, neighbour, or perfect stranger.  However, since there are really legitimate reasons for you to "want to do that" in this case, it's not an appropriate thing to say to a medical professional who is trying to help you.  You're lucky she dropped it, but she may just as likely have gone into the list of reasons why you would "want to do that", and she would have been perfectly polite in doing so, since you all but invited her to give you a list of reasons.

A better response to a medical professional (who is trying to help you look out for your health and wellbeing) would be "I don't wish to discuss my weight right now" or "No, it is not a goal I plan on setting."

As hard as I try, I do not see the nurse as being rude, presumptuous, or at all in the wrong with her comment.  It reads to me like she was attempting to bring up a very sensitive subject as delicately as she could.  I'm sorry, but I still feel you were rude to her.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2012, 03:01:34 PM by Knitterly »

NotTheNarcissist

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #16 on: April 19, 2012, 03:09:26 PM »
OP I got that. Thats why I said awesome right off the bat. Others brought up your weight. I was trying to help them see weight was not the issue. The nonchalant response was. I am done with this.

lady_disdain

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #17 on: April 19, 2012, 09:50:07 PM »
No one is giving you advice on losing weight. I haven't seen a single post where someone is telling you to lose weight. Several posters, however, are giving you advice on how you could have handled it even better and not open yourself for a weight lecture. Weight is an appropriate topic of discussion for a health care provider, after all.

In this case, "no is a complete answer" would be better in the future. I would be saying the same think if the topic was quitting cigarettes, starting an exercise routine or wearing glasses.

edgypeanuts

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #18 on: April 19, 2012, 11:21:14 PM »
Please don't be offended, as I only ask because I am having trouble understanding why the question of weight is unacceptable from a doctor.


The OP did not say that the question was unacceptable (and this was not her doctor.)  She simply used an often recommended ehell phrase and it worked well.
The phrase is not meant to be rude and is not rude unless it is said in a snotty tone and there is no indication that was the case here.

The best doctor/patient relationship is one with some give and take.  You are not required to follow their advice.  For example, maybe a certain medication usually works well, but when you have used it in the past it has made you more ill- it is not rude to decline to take that medication again, even if your doctor suggests it.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #19 on: April 19, 2012, 11:25:22 PM »
Please don't be offended, as I only ask because I am having trouble understanding why the question of weight is unacceptable from a doctor.


The OP did not say that the question was unacceptable (and this was not her doctor.)  She simply used an often recommended ehell phrase and it worked well.
The phrase is not meant to be rude and is not rude unless it is said in a snotty tone and there is no indication that was the case here.

The best doctor/patient relationship is one with some give and take.  You are not required to follow their advice.  For example, maybe a certain medication usually works well, but when you have used it in the past it has made you more ill- it is not rude to decline to take that medication again, even if your doctor suggests it.

The OP didn't even realize she said it until later, so I take that it was said in a blase way rather than in a short, curt way.  I don't think the OP was rude.
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Editeer

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #20 on: April 20, 2012, 07:00:19 PM »
Not only did the OP use an Ehell response--it was successful in ending that line of questioning. The nurse said "OK" and went on to something else. Isn't that just what the Ehell response is for?

I see the OP as sharing an anecdote about an EHell success, nothing more. It seems like folks are dogpiling a bit.

magician5

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #21 on: April 21, 2012, 05:41:56 AM »
About the subject of weight loss being acceptable from a doctor treating you for diabetes:

You bet it is!

My wife had bariatric (weight loss) surgery about 6 months ago. It brought with it some new problems, but what I want to emphasize here is that ALMOST IMMEDIATELY her diabetes was gone, her fatty liver was gone, her high cholesterol was gone, her high blood pressure was mostly gone. And when I say "gone", I mean entirely gone.

I don't want to sidetrack the thread, nor do I want to get into hot water for bringing up medical advice, I just want to say that yes, weight loss is an appropriate issue for your physician to bring up as part of your diabetic care.
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Darcy

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #22 on: April 21, 2012, 12:47:40 PM »
About the subject of weight loss being acceptable from a doctor treating you for diabetes:

You bet it is!

My wife had bariatric (weight loss) surgery about 6 months ago. It brought with it some new problems, but what I want to emphasize here is that ALMOST IMMEDIATELY her diabetes was gone, her fatty liver was gone, her high cholesterol was gone, her high blood pressure was mostly gone. And when I say "gone", I mean entirely gone.

I don't want to sidetrack the thread, nor do I want to get into hot water for bringing up medical advice, I just want to say that yes, weight loss is an appropriate issue for your physician to bring up as part of your diabetic care.

Except the OP spoke to a nurse as part of her insurance, not to the doctor that meets her face-to-face. I think any weight loss talk is really sidetracking the point of the OP's post - mainly, that the phrase worked.

Joeschmo

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #23 on: April 21, 2012, 01:02:09 PM »
About the subject of weight loss being acceptable from a doctor treating you for diabetes:

You bet it is!

My wife had bariatric (weight loss) surgery about 6 months ago. It brought with it some new problems, but what I want to emphasize here is that ALMOST IMMEDIATELY her diabetes was gone, her fatty liver was gone, her high cholesterol was gone, her high blood pressure was mostly gone. And when I say "gone", I mean entirely gone.

I don't want to sidetrack the thread, nor do I want to get into hot water for bringing up medical advice, I just want to say that yes, weight loss is an appropriate issue for your physician to bring up as part of your diabetic care.

Except the OP spoke to a nurse as part of her insurance, not to the doctor that meets her face-to-face. I think any weight loss talk is really sidetracking the point of the OP's post - mainly, that the phrase worked.

Yes the phrase worked but I think some of us are arguing it was not used in a scenario for which it was intended.  Excess weight can affect diabetes so it's not inappropriate for a medical professional who is talking to the op about her diabetes to ask about weight loss.  No this was not a doctor but it is a practitioner of medicine the op chose to talk to about a health issue.

Knitterly

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #24 on: April 21, 2012, 01:25:04 PM »
About the subject of weight loss being acceptable from a doctor treating you for diabetes:

You bet it is!

My wife had bariatric (weight loss) surgery about 6 months ago. It brought with it some new problems, but what I want to emphasize here is that ALMOST IMMEDIATELY her diabetes was gone, her fatty liver was gone, her high cholesterol was gone, her high blood pressure was mostly gone. And when I say "gone", I mean entirely gone.

I don't want to sidetrack the thread, nor do I want to get into hot water for bringing up medical advice, I just want to say that yes, weight loss is an appropriate issue for your physician to bring up as part of your diabetic care.

Except the OP spoke to a nurse as part of her insurance, not to the doctor that meets her face-to-face. I think any weight loss talk is really sidetracking the point of the OP's post - mainly, that the phrase worked.

Yes the phrase worked but I think some of us are arguing it was not used in a scenario for which it was intended.  Excess weight can affect diabetes so it's not inappropriate for a medical professional who is talking to the op about her diabetes to ask about weight loss.  No this was not a doctor but it is a practitioner of medicine the op chose to talk to about a health issue.

This is also what I was tring to communicate.

The point isn't the weight at all, and I do hope the thread doesn't get sidetracked into that.  That's why I made a point of my own excess weight.  The OP should not feel pressured to lose weight if she does not feel it is necessary or if she just plain doesn't want to (frankly, I personally just plain don't want to, no matter how much I'm told I "should").

What I felt on reading this is that the phrase, while a great one for using with friends and family and other nosy busybodies who have no business commenting on one's weight, is not an appropriate phrase to use with a medical professional.  The nurse could very easily and correctly give the OP a long list of reasons why she might want to attend to her weight.  That's actually the nurse's place.  It's her job, and she might be remiss in not saying something.  I still read it as being a professional trying to bring a sensitive subject up delicately and being quite rudely shut down.

The same phrase would not be snippy or rude at all if said to pretty much anyone else.  It's all about context.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #25 on: April 21, 2012, 01:32:52 PM »
Not only did the OP use an Ehell response--it was successful in ending that line of questioning. The nurse said "OK" and went on to something else. Isn't that just what the Ehell response is for?

I see the OP as sharing an anecdote about an EHell success, nothing more. It seems like folks are dogpiling a bit.

I agree.  If the OP didn't say it snippily or irritatedly (which I don't think she did due to her not realizing she said it), I don't think she was rude at all.  It stopped the line of questioning and that was her purpose.
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NyaChan

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #26 on: April 21, 2012, 01:36:10 PM »
Take the context out of it - someone brought up a topic which the OP did not want to discuss, OP used a phrase to end the inquiry in a polite and concise way. Good for her!  I don't think the nurse was rude for asking, but neither was the OP for not wanting to discuss it.

Onyx_TKD

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #27 on: April 21, 2012, 05:49:47 PM »
About the subject of weight loss being acceptable from a doctor treating you for diabetes:

You bet it is!

My wife had bariatric (weight loss) surgery about 6 months ago. It brought with it some new problems, but what I want to emphasize here is that ALMOST IMMEDIATELY her diabetes was gone, her fatty liver was gone, her high cholesterol was gone, her high blood pressure was mostly gone. And when I say "gone", I mean entirely gone.

I don't want to sidetrack the thread, nor do I want to get into hot water for bringing up medical advice, I just want to say that yes, weight loss is an appropriate issue for your physician to bring up as part of your diabetic care.

Except the OP spoke to a nurse as part of her insurance, not to the doctor that meets her face-to-face. I think any weight loss talk is really sidetracking the point of the OP's post - mainly, that the phrase worked.

Yes the phrase worked but I think some of us are arguing it was not used in a scenario for which it was intended.  Excess weight can affect diabetes so it's not inappropriate for a medical professional who is talking to the op about her diabetes to ask about weight loss.  No this was not a doctor but it is a practitioner of medicine the op chose to talk to about a health issue.

This is also what I was tring to communicate.

The point isn't the weight at all, and I do hope the thread doesn't get sidetracked into that.  That's why I made a point of my own excess weight.  The OP should not feel pressured to lose weight if she does not feel it is necessary or if she just plain doesn't want to (frankly, I personally just plain don't want to, no matter how much I'm told I "should").

What I felt on reading this is that the phrase, while a great one for using with friends and family and other nosy busybodies who have no business commenting on one's weight, is not an appropriate phrase to use with a medical professional.  The nurse could very easily and correctly give the OP a long list of reasons why she might want to attend to her weight.  That's actually the nurse's place.  It's her job, and she might be remiss in not saying something.  I still read it as being a professional trying to bring a sensitive subject up delicately and being quite rudely shut down.

The same phrase would not be snippy or rude at all if said to pretty much anyone else.  It's all about context.

IMO, the bolded could be a reason why the phrase is appropriate for this situation, as long as it's said in a neutral tone.

The point of asking "Why would I want to do that?" to inappropriate suggestions is that it forces the suggester to face the fact that they don't have good reasons that would make the person want to follow their suggestion. OTOH, if the suggestion is actually appropriate and there are indeed good reasons for it, then the person can answer the question honestly. IMO, if you would be offended by hearing actual valid reasons why the suggestion could benefit you, then you should probably avoid using "Why would I want to do that?" in the first place.

The way I read the OP, the phrase basically notified the nurse that the OP was not currently trying to lose weight, nor was she planning to. The nurse may also have inferred that the OP didn't expect her to offer any reasons that the OP hasn't already heard. That lets the nurse know that A) the subject is probably somewhat sensitive and B) if she thinks the OP needs to lose weight, then she better be prepared to offer significant medical reasons for it, i.e., she would need to answer the OP's question of "why would [she] want to do that?" In this case, the nurse apparently concluded that she couldn't offer any reasons that the OP was likely to find compelling, so she dropped the subject.

PaintingPastelPrincess

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #28 on: April 22, 2012, 09:53:37 PM »
I don't think the questioner needs to be rude to make this an effective statement.  I'm glad this worked for you, OP.

MellowedOne

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Re: Wow, I think I've been reading Ehell for a very long time
« Reply #29 on: May 01, 2012, 09:58:41 AM »
It's.not.about.weight.  And no one was rude in this story.  It's that the phrase was not necessary in this context.

The OP's story indicates the nurses' question was neither rude nor inappropriate.  Proactive health care matters a lot to insurance companies.  The reason is obvious--better medical management reduces insurance claims.  So the nurse is going to ask questions and offer guidance based on individual health needs. This is entirely with the course and scope of her job, and of course it is a person's right to decline any such suggestions.  In this situation 'the phrase' should not be used; a polite 'no thank you' would be appropriate.

OP is to be commended just for her ability to use the phrase...so many are working up the courage to use it and others.  But we all should take note that proper context is a necessity when using the phrases.