Author Topic: Beaning dipping King or just rude?  (Read 8132 times)

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JenJay

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Re: Beaning dipping King or just rude?
« Reply #15 on: August 26, 2012, 10:25:21 AM »
Is there a general purpose to the gatherings, a "Thing" you're all there to do? Is he participating in making, discussing, watching, reading, etc. The Thing? If there is a Thing and he's participating in that then I'd say he's unsocial to the point of hostility and wants to do The Thing but otherwise be left alone. I don't know why he won't come out and say that, but he's definitely making it clear.

If there is no Thing and the whole point of the group is to socialize then I think he's creepy. Someone must organize the meeting times, I'd go to them with my concerns and ask if he could be left out of future communications regarding meetings.

If there's no Thing and he can't be left out of the meet-ups then I'd ignore him completely. I wouldn't start conversations with him and if he started a gibberish convo with me I'd look straight at him and say "You've made it clear you aren't interested in getting to know me. I respect your decision." and turn my attention back to anyone else.

Only me

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Re: Beaning dipping King or just rude?
« Reply #16 on: August 26, 2012, 11:45:32 PM »
Hi jenjay

Yes per original post this to is a social group but there are lots of things going on. There are scheduled events throughout the month from walking to going out to coffee night or pub night.

The organizer of the group know how we feel and was upset that we should say facts about the person in question. She thinks he is so just a private person and normally the group organizer is pretty sharp.

I am just going to ignore him now.

Onlyme

sparksals

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Re: Beaning dipping King or just rude?
« Reply #17 on: August 27, 2012, 01:15:33 AM »
If this is a meetup and the organizer pays for the group, then there isn't anything you can do.  It is her group. 

Cami

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Re: Beaning dipping King or just rude?
« Reply #18 on: August 27, 2012, 10:42:21 AM »
OP -- I read your posts to my husband as there was something about them that niggled my memory about college. He reminded me that there used to be a man in his college circle of friends/acquaintances who behaved in this manner. One day, someone got annoyed enough to call the man on the behavior. I do remember that moment clearly now that my husband reminded me because we had all sort of thought he might be in our university's deviant psych class, which had a requirement that every student act "deviant" in public in some way and record the responses.  Therefore, we all thought the explanation for his behavior would be reasonable (even if the length of the "deviancy" had gone on far longer than normal) and more importantly, that he would knock it off since he'd been "outed."

Instead, the man's response was that he behaved like that because (I'm paraphrasing, but the meaning is the same): He liked to confuse and irritate people for the "fun of it". He enjoyed seeing people get confused and try to be polite about the situation and try to be polite to him. He thought it was hysterically funny to watch "polite people squirm when I am being so rude." He went on to say how he'd go home and relive the "fun" in his head. He said this all with such... glee and delight, clearly thinking himself far superior to the rest of us. We all thought he was at best a jerk and at worst, some sort of sociopath.  He was cut out of the group immediately.

(Edited because my original sentence structure was awful!)
« Last Edit: August 28, 2012, 10:21:50 AM by Cami »

mrkitty

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Re: Beaning dipping King or just rude?
« Reply #19 on: August 27, 2012, 11:04:47 AM »
OP -- I read your posts to my husband as there was something about them that niggled my memory about college. He reminded me that there used to be a man in his college circle of friends/acquaintances who behaved in this manner. One day, someone got annoyed enough to call the man on the behavior. I do remember that moment clearly now that my husband reminded me because since we were going to a university with a very strong Psych department whose deviant psych class included a requirement that every student act "deviant" in public in some way and record the responses, we all sort of thought the man was in that class and the answer would be reasonable, even if the length of this behavior was continuing far longer than usual.

Instead, the man's response was that he behaved like that was (I'm paraphrasing, but the meaning is the same): He liked to confuse and irritate people for the "fun of it". He enjoyed seeing people get confused and try to be polite about the situation and try to be polite to him. He thought it was hysterically funny to watch "polite people squirm when I am being so rude." He went on to say how he'd go home and relive the "fun" in his head. He said this all with such... glee and delight, clearly thinking himself far superior to the rest of us. We all thought he was at best a jerk and at worst, some sort of sociopath.  He was cut out of the group immediately.


I agree with this completely.

OP, this guy in your group is displaying a major creep factor. By definition, he shouldn't be a member of your group as it is a *social* group, and his behavior towards some members in distinctly anti-social.

At best, he sounds like a jerk who likes to play mind games. At worst, someone who has serious issues that need to be addressed professionally, and it is not anyone else's job to cater to him, accept his rudeness, fix him or otherwise tolerate his unpleasant behavior. The only thing you really have to do is extend basic social courtesy - which you have - and politely extricate yourself from his annoying presence. And, possibly, see to it that he is removed from the social group since he clearly is undermining the purpose of the group, which is, in fact, to be social.  >:(
Learn from past. Live in the present. Hope for the future.

JenJay

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Re: Beaning dipping King or just rude?
« Reply #20 on: August 27, 2012, 03:10:47 PM »
Hi jenjay

Yes per original post this to is a social group but there are lots of things going on. There are scheduled events throughout the month from walking to going out to coffee night or pub night.

The organizer of the group know how we feel and was upset that we should say facts about the person in question. She thinks he is so just a private person and normally the group organizer is pretty sharp.

I am just going to ignore him now.

Onlyme

Hi! That's what I thought but I was hoping I'd misread and there was more than socializing to the group. It just makes no sense why someone would join a social group and refuse to be social. My brain can't grasp it.  :P

MerryCat

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Re: Beaning dipping King or just rude?
« Reply #21 on: August 28, 2012, 01:14:37 AM »
Agreeing with all the posters who said he was creepy. There is something wrong with this guy. Avoid and ignore. Personally, not only would I not ask him any questions, I wouldn't answer them either. I'd just pretend not to see or hear him and move away as fast as I could.

Only me

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Re: Beaning dipping King or just rude? up pg 2
« Reply #22 on: August 28, 2012, 05:19:35 PM »
HI All, OP Here.

**Cami, I had mentioned in one of the posts that this person seems to like the negative attention. But yes you've nailed it on the head with your explanation. (Made it clearer).

**JenyJay, yes it would have been great had this post been mis written because we do wish his behaviour was a figment of his imagination.

As for the organizer of the group, although she's normally pretty sharp and has asked people not to come back (like the guy who asked me for a 3some with my friend...yes a whole other story) the group organizer will still give him the benefit of the doubt for a bit more. No one has mentioned that he's creepy just annoying.

OK seriously now do you know how hard it is not to put I down, meaning me. Becasue I referred to this guy as I in the beginning post. CRUD MONKEYS!, Last time I gets used an initial to represent a person in my posts.

Onlyme.