Author Topic: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers! Update p. 39  (Read 11873 times)

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katiescarlett

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Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers! Update p. 39
« on: April 22, 2012, 08:29:17 PM »
A couple of weeks ago, my aunt texted me and asked me to make sure her medications got filled, then to text her when they were ready.  This is our normal routine.  My other aunt, sister, dad, and friend also do this.  I do not mind this at all. 

Unfortunately, one of my aunt's medications recently became a controlled medication, which we are only allowed to fill 3 days early.  That meant that I could not fill that med until the next day, at the earliest.  I sent her a text message about 30 minutes before she got off work letting her know about that.  That way she would not have to make 2 trips to the pharmacy.  However, she did not bother to read the message, came anyway, and began texting me from the drivethrough wanting to know what the holdup was in the line.  I replied that I did not know, but I would have her bag of meds waiting for her. 

When she pulled up, she demanded to know if that med was in the bag, I said no, that I could not fill it yet, so I know that she did in fact read that message.  She began cussing me out, told me she would not take the meds today, then peeled out of the line.

Two of my coworkers were standing next to me, with jaws dropped.  They wanted to know who that was, and when I said my aunt, they could not believe it.  I sent her text messages saying that she could not treat me that way, that I was trying to be nice, and help her out.  I also told her to call the main line from now on because I was done.

The next day, I asked one of the girls to see if she had called her med in, and if not, please fill it because I knew she would be coming to pick it up, and I didn't want her cussing out one of my coworkers.  She had not, so it got filled for her.  After she left, I sent her message letting her know that I was trying to be nice and made sure it got filled for her.  (I did not look at her chart, I always had another tech fill her meds when she let me know she needed them.  I don't do that.)

Her response to this was kiss my ***.  I also do not use profanity, at all, so I really did not like her cursing at me.

Tonight, I suddenly got mad, and did something stupid.  I texted her asking if we could put this behind us.  That she could not treat me that way, I would not allow her to walk all over me.  I asked her if she really thought so little of me, that she would really want me to do something for her that could have gotten me or the other tech in serious trouble.
 
Her response was that she had done alot more for me than I had ever done for her (which is a serious joke.  she is a very selfish woman, and has never done anything for me.  Ever.) and to LEAVE HER ALONE.  I apologized for bothering her, told her I would respect her wishes, and that I would be blocking her from my phone. 

And that apparently is that.  I have never done the cut direct on anyone before, especially a family member that I was actually pretty close with, or thought I was.  This whole thing has really hurt my feelings.  All I was trying to do was be nice and help her, but I will not risk my job for anyone. 

I know I went about this whole thing wrong, and was probably pretty rude on my part, which I am sorry for, but I am just in shock that an aunt that I was close with until now, could actually treat me like this, and think she has done nothing wrong.

So, ehellions, two questions.  How do I treat her at family functions now, and how could I have gone about this better.  I think I was so angry and hurt that I totally did everything wrong.

Anyone who made it this far gets virtual brownies with powdered sugar on them!
« Last Edit: December 24, 2012, 10:34:43 PM by katiescarlett »

SamiHami

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  • No! Iz mai catnip! You no can haz! YOU NO CAN HAZ!
Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2012, 08:33:54 PM »
make my brownies gluten-free, please.

You did nothing wrong. Your aunt is a SS for thinking it's okay to ask you to risk your job for her convenience. You extended the olive branch and she broke it in half. I'd say it's up to her to apologize to you before your relationship can be restored.

As for family gatherings, I would be cordial but distant.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

katiescarlett

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2012, 08:48:31 PM »
Thank you, samihami, gluten free on the way!

I am just sad for my aunt, she is the one missing out, not me.  She is not married, and childless (absolutely nothing wrong with this, I am also single and childless)  I really don't think she has alot of friends, and we would hang out alot.  We have alot of similar interests, and enjoyed going to the movies together, and trading books and movies back and forth.  I, on the other hand, have alot of friends, and also I have you guys here on ehell.  I enjoy spending time with my friends, and am very close to my family, including her, or so I thought,

I know she can be a selfish person, and she has gotten mad at me before over things beyond my control, but she has never treated me like this before in my entire life.  I don't know what is going on with her, and it worries me a little that something is wrong, but I can't allow her to treat me like that, especially in front of my coworkers, and at the risk of my job.

weeblewobble

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2012, 08:53:15 PM »
You sound like a nice person.  But you are applying the sense and logic used by a nice, normal, sane person to someone who seems to have no patience, gratitude or manners. Every time you apologize or try to placate her, you are re-enforcing her belief that she has the right to treat you this way.  Seriously.  You did something nice and she told you to kiss her a--  And trying to argue with her is like shouting into a tornado.  It's loud, it's pointless and it's bound to blow back in your face.  Just continue not to talk to her.  Don't do her any favors and don't let anyone in your family pressure you to "smooth the waters" by apologizing.

gramma dishes

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2012, 09:10:02 PM »
I would like my brownies to be BIG and kind of gooey.  But I'll eat anything with chocolate in it.   :)

How old is your Aunt?  Any possibility of memory loss or other mental health issues?

Your Aunt was unbelievably rude to you.  I think she owes you an apology.  And if she ever does, listen very carefully to her wording.  Make sure it's really an apology and not one of those "I'm sorry you felt offended" things where she's actually blaming you for the whole situation..

I'd recommend not making any gesture toward reconciliation -- not face to face, not by email, not by texting, not by snail mail and definitely not through other family members.  Let her be responsible for doing that.  She'll be expecting you to come groveling to her.  PLEASE surprise her by standing your ground!

If she ever does apologize, let her know that that kind of thing absolutely can not happen again -- ever!




katiescarlett

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2012, 09:16:16 PM »
Thank you weeblewobble.  You are very right.  That is actually a very good description.  One good thing, my family is behind me all the way, and rather appalled at her behavior.  My grandfather said that is why she lives over there all alone. (This is not a big deal, I don't blame her, she has owned her house for a long time, and her town is only about 30 minutes from mine, where she works.)

GlassHalfFull

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2012, 09:19:05 PM »
This is probably way off-base, but the fact that this med went to controlled status makes me wonder if it's addictive, and if so, if she became somewhat dependent on it and that could've set her off?

In any case, you didn't do a thing wrong, and now I really want some brownies, too, frosted if you could.

katiescarlett

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2012, 09:27:22 PM »
gramma dishes, the biggest and gooiest ones I can find!  You all deserve them after reading through that long post. :D  My aunt is 55 years old, and has no issues that would cause her to act this way, other than her personality.

You are all right, and I am regretting now texting her at all.  I don't know why I got so angry about it all of a sudden, tonight.  That is exactly how she is, too.  In a few months, or by Thanksgiving, she will be treating me good, acting like everything is fine, and nothing ever happened.  I cannot do this.  I will be distantly polite to her at family functions, but that is all.  At least my other aunts would never dream of treating me like this!

I have never been extremely close to my dad's side of the family (this is his sister), except for my grandparents, and another aunt, but I AM extremely close to my mom's side of the family.  I have alot of very dear friends that I like to spend time with, and my mom's sister, and my cousins and I are very, very close and do things together all the time.  We genuinely enjoy each others company.

doodlemor

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #8 on: April 22, 2012, 09:28:58 PM »
This is probably way off-base, but the fact that this med went to controlled status makes me wonder if it's addictive, and if so, if she became somewhat dependent on it and that could've set her off?

In any case, you didn't do a thing wrong, and now I really want some brownies, too, frosted if you could.

These were my thoughts, too.  If I were you I would have someone else deal with her prescriptions, because things could only get worse.

Since the brownies are virtual, how about some with ganache on top that has kahlua in it.

katiescarlett

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #9 on: April 22, 2012, 09:36:14 PM »
Sending them your way, GlassHalfFull.  I don't know about that medication.  Could be a possibility.

katiescarlett

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #10 on: April 22, 2012, 09:46:29 PM »
On their way, doodlemor, and I agree with you.  I always had another coworker fill them anyway, because I didn't think I should fill a family members, but I already told my aunt she would have to call the main line from now on.

doodlemor

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #11 on: April 22, 2012, 09:52:37 PM »
Best of luck to you, katiescarlett, with what may turn into a difficult situation for your family.

Thanks for the brownies.

sammycat

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #12 on: April 22, 2012, 09:56:36 PM »
Your Aunt was unbelievably rude to you.  I think she owes you an apology.  And if she ever does, listen very carefully to her wording.  Make sure it's really an apology and not one of those "I'm sorry you felt offended" things where she's actually blaming you for the whole situation..

I'd recommend not making any gesture toward reconciliation -- not face to face, not by email, not by texting, not by snail mail and definitely not through other family members.  Let her be responsible for doing that.  She'll be expecting you to come groveling to her.  PLEASE surprise her by standing your ground!

If she ever does apologize, let her know that that kind of thing absolutely can not happen again -- ever!

I agree totallay with this. 

You didn't do a single thing that requires apologising for, and I'm bit puzzled as to why you think you should be.

mrkitty

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #13 on: April 22, 2012, 09:58:09 PM »
On their way, doodlemor, and I agree with you.  I always had another coworker fill them anyway, because I didn't think I should fill a family members, but I already told my aunt she would have to call the main line from now on.

I think this is the best policy, even if your aunt manages to make amends with you in the future. BIG HUGS  :-* to you - I know how painful it can be to deal with someone who acts out like that. Please don't tell yourself - ever - that you have the responsibility to cater to her or to ignore her behavior towards you. You cannot be responsible for her behavior.
Learn from past. Live in the present. Hope for the future.

katiescarlett

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #14 on: April 22, 2012, 09:58:25 PM »
I don't think I should apologize to her, I just wondered if I handled it wrong.  In fact, I told her she owed me an apology.