Author Topic: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers! Update p. 39  (Read 12583 times)

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katiescarlett

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #15 on: April 22, 2012, 10:03:12 PM »
Thank you mr.kitty.

mrkitty

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #16 on: April 22, 2012, 10:23:04 PM »
I don't think I should apologize to her, I just wondered if I handled it wrong.  In fact, I told her she owed me an apology.

I don't think you handled it wrong at all. You were more than gracious to her.
Learn from past. Live in the present. Hope for the future.

merryns

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #17 on: April 22, 2012, 10:34:52 PM »
I think you made one mistake. You can send someone a 'let's put the recent issue behind us' text if that's what you want to do. You can send someone a 'reasons you were wrong' text if you want to talk the issue out. Sending both at once is mixed messages at best.

katiescarlett

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #18 on: April 22, 2012, 11:11:14 PM »
I think you made one mistake. You can send someone a 'let's put the recent issue behind us' text if that's what you want to do. You can send someone a 'reasons you were wrong' text if you want to talk the issue out. Sending both at once is mixed messages at best.

You are right, merryns, and I see that now.

cicero

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #19 on: April 23, 2012, 02:31:50 AM »
I'd like fudge brownies, please. no powdered sugar.

i am so sorry your aunt treated you this way - she was unbelievably rude.

you did nothing wrong - in fact you were kind and gracious to her.

I think that you tried very hard (maybe too hard?) to make nice to her - after she cursed you, you didn't even have to call her back/text her. it is up to *her* to apologize for her OTT behavior at that point.


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Last_Dance

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #20 on: April 23, 2012, 04:49:25 AM »
You know, I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to act as if nothing had happened the next time she needs a refill. In that case, I suggest the patented EHell approved response: "I'm afraid it won't be possible."
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zyrs

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #21 on: April 23, 2012, 06:53:35 AM »
Your aunt was very rude to you. 

I think your having her call the main line from now on is a very good thing.  Avoiding having anything to do with her at work even if you and up forgiving her in the future is the safest bet so nothing like this happens again.

 

bopper

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #22 on: April 23, 2012, 08:57:27 AM »
No good deed goes unpunished.


You can't make your Aunt apologize or "see that she was wrong". All you can do is change your reaction to her.  So I agree, have your Aunt go through the normal process from now on.


If you see Aunt at social functions, I would just treat her cooly....don't go out of your way to talk to her or avoid her. If she says anything then you can say "Aunt asked me to violate store policy, so I have had to stop doing her favors."

Kari

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #23 on: April 23, 2012, 09:03:31 AM »
Your aunt behaved very irrationally. Either she's the sort who's addicted to drama and responds to every disappointment like she's starring in a production of "Medea" or she's addicted to whatever drug she couldn't get right away. I worked in a pharmacy for a few years and saw this type of behavior first-hand. You don't need to put up with that abuse from a customer, let alone fro ma family member. Whether she's an addict or just a jerk, give her a wide berth right now and don't involve yourself personally in filling her scripts. (Especially if she's an addict. If a controlled substance goes missing and it's known you fill her perscription, you could leave yourself vulnerable to accusation of theft.)

katiescarlett

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #24 on: April 23, 2012, 09:49:26 AM »
Your aunt behaved very irrationally. Either she's the sort who's addicted to drama and responds to every disappointment like she's starring in a production of "Medea" or she's addicted to whatever drug she couldn't get right away. I worked in a pharmacy for a few years and saw this type of behavior first-hand. You don't need to put up with that abuse from a customer, let alone fro ma family member. Whether she's an addict or just a jerk, give her a wide berth right now and don't involve yourself personally in filling her scripts. (Especially if she's an addict. If a controlled substance goes missing and it's known you fill her perscription, you could leave yourself vulnerable to accusation of theft.)

I think she is just addicted to drama, Kari.  This is also why I have always had one of the other girls fill her scripts.  She would just text me what she needed, and I would relay the message to a coworker.  So, I am good there.

Winterlight

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #25 on: April 23, 2012, 10:01:40 AM »
You owe her nothing and I'd stick to being icily polite if you must speak to her. She can save her drama for her llama.

And I'lll take a fudge brownie with chocolate chips, please!
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And how, and when, and where.
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RegionMom

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #26 on: April 23, 2012, 11:56:09 AM »
Your coworkers know you do not cuss.  They witnessed a customer cuss at you.  When they learned it was a family member of yours, all the more reason for you to drop contact with her.  Never fill her scripts again. 
Be cool, calm, and cordial when you see her at family events. 
Do not let her ruffle your feathers.  You have built a life that can survive without her.  She may not have such stability.  Too bad.  You do not have to be friends with family members.

As for brownies, do you have a good virtual recipe with no calories?  I have lost over 30 lbs since Jan. and want to stay on track.   ;)
Fear is temporary...Regret is forever.

secretrebel

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #27 on: April 23, 2012, 01:30:26 PM »
I'm very sorry that your aunt was unappreciative of your efforts on her behalf.

I don't think you handled it as well as you could have done. I think it would have been better to give her 24 hours to get over her clearly terrible mood and then contact her. It's not what you said that was wrong but the short time frame and the single medium and the capacity for escalation were all against you:

- Text message is not the best way of communicating urgent information
- Text message is a bad medium for emotional communication because tone and nuance are stripped out
- Addressing the issue with your aunt so quickly didn't give her time to think over what she'd done and realise herself that she was in the wrong
- going from close relation to cut direct in 24 hours doesn't give you the time you need to decide if this is the best way to handle the situation

So, when you encounter aunt in future, the best thing to do is to keep certain key concepts in mind. Recall the true facts of the matter and the facts you wish to convey. eg Your message that the med could not be filled did not reach her, she was abusive to you, you don't wish anything similar to occur in the future. Those are the key facts. Then you can cut your cloth to suit her actions.

Perhaps she will apologise in a heartful way - then you can choose whether or not to accept her apology and whether you would ever fill meds for her again

Perhaps she will not speak to you, in which case you can need to do nothing and if others ask about the disagreement say "that's a private matter".

Perhaps she will speak but not apologise. This is the worst case scenario because the true cut direct would require you to blank her. I think at a family party this would be rude and potentially cause a lot of drama. Instead I would advise replying briefly and politely. And if she raises the issue of the meds say "I'd prefer not to discuss that" or "I'd prefer to discuss that some other time / in private".

Keep cool and keep your aims in view.

EMuir

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #28 on: April 23, 2012, 03:02:01 PM »
Your aunt made her own bed.  At a family function I'd treat her politely but no more.  If she engaged me in an argument I'd leave the room or the event if I had to.

I have been reading this site too long, when people started asking for specific brownie types my first thought was "Hey, if you don't like the brownie offered you can decline, but asking her to make a special type is rude!"  Argh!  :P

I'll have my brownie with cream cheese icing please. :)


katiescarlett

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Re: Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers!
« Reply #29 on: April 23, 2012, 03:17:09 PM »
secretrebel,

I agree with you and I see that now.  I think I was just so shocked and angry, that I reacted too quickly.  I did not apply the coke rule like I should have.

MollyMurr,

All brownies are made to order, and with 0 calories.  Have as many as you want!

To everyone who replied, I really appreciate all the replies and advice.  I am listening to it!

Thank you!

katie