Aunt cursed me out in front of my coworkers! Update p. 39

[BarensMom]

Considering she cursed at you in front of two co-workers, I would let the manager know that she is an abusive customer and ask that she be banned from the pharmacy.  She should not have the chance to abuse your co-workers as well.

[Mikayla]

I'm really sorry, katiescarlett.  I can't add much to what's been said, except to comment on your statement in the OP about a cut direct.  You haven't really done that yet by blocking her texts, so you don't need to box yourself in with typical cut direct rules.  In a literal sense, you simply did as she asked.  It's still your call what happens next.  Personally, I'd want to hold her to that apology, and it needs to be a legit one (not "I'm sorry you're so sensitive").  I'd also want to reach an understanding with her that you are not her go-to person any more. 

Brownies:  Please send some praline fudge brownies with coconut caramel icing. 

[Zilla]

Just another chime that I didn't see you do anything wrong.  It's all your aunt.


Good luck!

[RandomAngel]

I sent her text messages saying that she could not treat me that way, that I was trying to be nice, and help her out.  I also told her to call the main line from now on because I was done.

The next day, I asked one of the girls to see if she had called her med in, and if not, please fill it because I knew she would be coming to pick it up, and I didn't want her cussing out one of my coworkers.  She had not, so it got filled for her.  After she left, I sent her message letting her know that I was trying to be nice and made sure it got filled for her. 

I'm going to say that, as far as what you have control over, things went off the rails right here. You sent a great text message...and then completely undermined it, inviting her drama back in. Refusing to accept her nasty treatment of you is excellent; saying you will refuse to accept it and then doing an unasked-for favor for her the very next day sends a very different kind of message.

If she'd wanted her prescription filled so badly, she knew how to have it done. If she'd wanted to have a pleasant relationship with you, she knew she could have apologized and improved her behavior. But you missed a golden opportunity, in my opinion, to insist on either accountability or civil treatment--or both.

I certainly don't think you did anything "wrong," but if you really don't want drama where you work (and I'm with you on that!!!) then don't flinch when it comes time to keep drama out of your workplace, if you see what I mean.

[katiescarlett]

Thank you, RandomAngel, I agree with you!  The only reason I did have it filled was because I knew she would cause a scene and do the same thing to my coworkers, and I didn't want that.  However, you are right, and I should have left it alone.  My supervisor could have stepped in then and handled or called security, whatever she thought best.

Well, I have learned now, and will just avoid her when she comes in next month.

[LadyJaneinMD]

I don't think I should apologize to her, I just wondered if I handled it wrong.  In fact, I told her she owed me an apology.

You are right - she owes you an apology.  If she apologizes (pause for laughter here), you can accept it graciously, but don't let yourself be drawn back into the old relationship.  You are SO over that!  Move on.  Be cool and polite to her in public, and disengage as fast as you can.
Good luck.  We're all behind you.

[katiescarlett]

Thank you, LadyJane!  I appreciate that.  You are right.  I have already decided I don't need her.  Truth be told, I have already forgiven her, but I don't want to resume the old relationship.  I am holding out for that apology.  Too bad pigs will fly before that happens!

Wonderful things are happening in my life, lately, and I don't have time for petty drama.  Especially from a woman in her 50s!  I just bought a new car, am finally on my feet enough to look for an apartment (been renting from my parents due to medical bills), and will be enrolling in college next week!

I have many wonderful friends, family members, coworkers, and ehellions!

Life is good!

[TootsNYC]

Thank you, RandomAngel, I agree with you!  The only reason I did have it filled was because I knew she would cause a scene and do the same thing to my coworkers, and I didn't want that.  However, you are right, and I should have left it alone.  My supervisor could have stepped in then and handled or called security, whatever she thought best.

Are you sure? It's my experience that many people will treat the "safe" people badly, but that they'll be more polite to a stranger. They might expect you to "take it" if they dish it out to you, but they *know* that people they aren't related to will object.

[katiescarlett]

Very sure.  I once witnessed her cuss out a poor waitress after my other aunt told them it was her birthday.  Which it was.  She just didn't want them singing to her.  Had we known that, my other aunt would not have had the restaurant do that.  After she left the table, my other aunt and I slipped back, apologized to the waitress, and left her a huge tip.

I have seen her act this way before, she has just never treated me this way.  But it really should not have been a surprise.

[katiescarlett]

****UPDATE****

So we had Christmas with my dad's family last night (my 3 aunts, grandfather, 2 uncles, and cousins) at my aunt's house.  The one who yelled at me.  I had opted out of going, as I figured I would not be welcome at her house.  For 8 months now, every time she has seen me, she has given me a dirty look, or made sure I knew I was being ignored, or said something mean to me.

So, naturally, I did not really want to go.  One of my aunts found out and called me and pretty much gave me a lecture saying that she had talked to Aunt T (Toxic) and she knew I would be coming if my family was invited and she was fine with it.  Aunt T said as long as I didn't bring anything up, neither would she and she was willing for me to come.  I had no intention of bringing anything up, I haven't brought it up in the entire 8 months since it happened, so this was not a problem.  I know better than to expect an apology, but decided to go and give it a try.

Well, I was surprised.  Aunt T was VERY nice to me, and talked to me like nothing had ever happened.  She asked me about school, and I asked her if I could give her a hug, and she was very much for that. 

So, while I don't really want to do lots with her, and she didn't apologize for it, I think we have made up and put it behind us.  We are family, and I do love her, so I want us to get along.  I never wanted this to happen.  It's a Christmas miracle!

Sorry this update is so long.  I think I rambled alot.  So glad all the family is getting along!  This does not mean we will be resuming any old relationship we have, just that we get along.

[RegionMom]

Wow-a Christmas miracle!

[mrkitty]

Your update isn't too long at all!

I'm so glad things worked out this way for you. Your Auntie is very lucky to have a kind and forgiving Niece like you.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year!   

[katiescarlett]

Yes it is, Regionmom!  Thank you, mrkitty, you too!

[Petticoats]

Your update isn't too long at all!

I'm so glad things worked out this way for you. Your Auntie is very lucky to have a kind and forgiving Niece like you.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year!   

I agree with everything Mr Kitty said. I'm glad that, even though you didn't get the apology you deserved, your aunt will at least not subject you to more awful behavior at family gatherings.

Merry Christmas!

[katiescarlett]

Your update isn't too long at all!

I'm so glad things worked out this way for you. Your Auntie is very lucky to have a kind and forgiving Niece like you.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year!   

I agree with everything Mr Kitty said. I'm glad that, even though you didn't get the apology you deserved, your aunt will at least not subject you to more awful behavior at family gatherings.

Merry Christmas!

Thank you!  Merry Christmas to you!