General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Can I lie to boss about being PG?

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Elizabeth:
After trying for a loooong time and going through infertility treatments, I am finally pregnant. (HORRAY!) DH and I decided not to tell anyone in real life except for parents/grandparents until after the first trimester.

I did not tell my boss that I was suffering from infertility. When I had an appointment, I just told him that I had "a doctors appointment" and left it at that. It was a conscious decision not to tell him. I was worried that he might approve the time off for an appointment but, since it was "only" for IF treatments which could in theory be postponed, ask me at the last minute to cancel for a meeting, business trip, etc. He has a track record of making judgments on how important the thing is that you are taking time off for and asking people to alter their time off at the last minute.

I do not see my boss on a day to day basis. I have a business trip coming up where I will see my boss in person. I still fit in my clothes and everything but I think I look a bit bloated. Between that and all of the appointments that I have been having, I am worried he will put two and two together and ask me if I'm pregnant. What do I say if he out-and-out asks me? To almost anyone else I'd just lie and say "No," but if I lie now I'm worried about the fallout when I tell him I am pregnant. (How can he believe me when I say I am coming back to work if I lied about being pregnant in the first place?)

I've thought of saying "If I had any good news to share, I'd tell you," but worry he'll respond with "So you're not pregnant?"

I could go with "I guess I've been enjoying too many doughnuts" (with a small, strained smile) and hope he's worried enough about being rude/offensive that he drops it.

I'm not sure I like either option. Any other suggestions are appreciated.

WillyNilly:
How about just a big smile, and "now you know better then to ask a woman that, don't you?" or "did you just call me fat?" and then immediately change topics.  Have a few work questions or stories about clients ready to go so you can change topics quickly.

Its inappropriate to ask a person if they are pregnant in general, but AFAIK it is illegal for a boss to ask.

bopper:
I would not lie...I would defer.

I think in unlikely he will think Multiple appts= pregnancey since you have not mentioned infertility.
The only time I guessed soemone was pregnant at work was when they started wearing newdresses that looked "smocky".

If for some reason he does ask, then say "If I have any news to share, I will let you know."

Outdoor Girl:
I was going to suggest not answering and bean dipping right away, but I like WillyNilly's suggestions as a non-answer before bean dipping.

wolfie:
Is there a reason you don't want to tell him?

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