General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Can I lie to boss about being PG?

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Lynn2000:
I am guessing he may not even notice or think about it much, unless he's an especially nosy or gossipy person. I know when my friend was pregnant she really, really wanted her co-workers to ask and no one did; and when she finally told them, at something like four or five months, they were all quite surprised. She is a bit of a "round" person anyway so they probably didn't think her shape change was as noticeable as she did.

If he asks before you're ready to tell people, I think you should definitely not feel like you have to say "yes." Maybe try looking confused, like, "What?" like you can't believe he just asked you that.

Elizabeth:

--- Quote from: wolfie on April 23, 2012, 02:02:54 PM ---Is there a reason you don't want to tell him?

--- End quote ---

I don't want to tell anyone until after the first trimester (except parents/grandparents). The chances of miscarriage are far higher during the first trimester. If I had a miscarriage I wouldn't want to have to spread that bad news around. I wouldn't want to deal with people being awkward or avoiding me or saying unhelpful things in the effort to be kind. (It wasn't meant to be. You'll have another. Etc.) Also, I imagine that when a boss hears you are pregnant they start to think about how that affects work down the line. It'd be extra awful if the pregnancy affected my career and then I miscarried. (Yes, yes, legally you're not allowed to hold a pregnancy against someone in the US, but realistically it's probably going to color your boss's view. You probably can't prove it 99% of the time, but I think it's human nature. Oh, here's a cool project. It ends in November. Elizabeth is giving birth in January. Hmm, what if she goes on maternity leave early? Or the project runs late? Better give it to Frank.)

Slartibartfast:
Him: "Hmmm, are you pregnant?"

You: "#$@#$!# it, I knew I should have worn a different top!  Does this outfit really make me look pregnant?  Do I have time to go back upstairs and change before the meeting?"

EMuir:

--- Quote from: Elizabeth on April 23, 2012, 02:39:19 PM ---Oh, here's a cool project. It ends in November. Elizabeth is giving birth in January. Hmm, what if she goes on maternity leave early? Or the project runs late? Better give it to Frank.)

--- End quote ---

I think it's wise to not mention anything to boss.  I did want to comment though that I don't think that the kind of planning you mention above is a bias against pregnant women, it's something your boss has to consider, especially if a project can't easily be handed across to someone else.  Now, if he never assigned you a cool project ever because he thought you might be pregnant at any time, that would be biased.

BeagleMommy:
You are not required to tell him anything until you request time off for maternity leave.  It's unlikely he's equating your multiple medical appointments as pregnancy related.  Tell him when you are ready but be honest about how much work you will be able to handle.  Especially if you are a high-risk pregnancy (been there, done that, bought the T-shirt).  I delivered 5 weeks early; they had to adjust.

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