Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Guest complaining about menu - ironic update #44

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NutellaNut:
Last weekend we held a milestone birthday party for DH, with 50 people RSVPing yes.  Our group tends towards potlucks but I felt it important that this party be hosted fully by us and so I cooked up a big spread. 

Appetizers during the afternoon: chips and dip, veggies and dip, cheesy bacon ball & crackers, pepperoni rolls, stuffed grape leaves, cheesy pepper dip.  Main dishes: steaks, pulled chicken BBQ, hotdogs.  Sides: Macaroni & cheese with tomatoes, baked beans, potato salad, broccoli salad, pesto tortellini salad.  Desserts: Red Velvet Cake, homebaked cherry pie, mixed berry pie, homemade cheesecake.

We have a friend who says she's allergic to vinegar (call her PF for Picky Friend).  Her husband told us behind her back that she's not actually allergic, she just doesn't care for the taste, and that if it's a hidden ingredient that she won't notice, just don't tell her.  She also is not a very adventurous eater, doesn't like spicy food or ethnic food of any kind.

Standing in line at the buffet, PF was asking where the medium-rare steaks were, she'd asked for medium-rare.  I couldn't tell if one of the plates had MR - maybe someone accidentally took the last one - but said there was a plate with steaks cooked medium.  Then she said, "I just want my medium rare steak, there's so little I can eat."

Me: There's mac & cheese, that doesn't have any vinegar...
PF:  But it has chunks of tomato.  I don't like that.  It's OK if it's sauce, but not chunks.
Me: I'm sorry, I didn't know that.  Um, there's baked beans...
PF: <shakes head>
Me: Ok, um, I guess not the potato salad? and the broccoli salad unfortunately has vinegar.  Wait, there's the pesto salad, there's no vinegar there, and the tomato chunks are very big, I'm sure you can avoid taking any...
PF: No.
Me: OK, I'm sorry.  I think there's still some chips and veggies and dip out on the porch.

She then took a medium-cooked steak and left the line.  I got my own food and nothing more was said.

Was the menu truly deficient?  I hadn't known about her tomato aversion, though I don't know that I would have changed the menu if I had known.  Should I have?  I didn't think I should have to plan for each guests likes and dislikes, as opposed to medical needs.

Ironically, her own wedding had cold cuts and various picnic salads.  With vinegar!

RebeccainGA:
Anaphylaxis if she has something - be considerate, change the menu or have special things.

Picky eater? Let her be picky and find something.

My DP is also a very, very picky eater. Meats cooked until almost charred, only whole breast meat if it's chicken, no chunks of cooked tomato, no chunks of cooked peppers, no cheese, no cream, etc. But I can take her ANYWHERE and she can find something - no matter where we go. She has even found things she'll eat at Greek and Chinese restaurants, where the meats are often more disguised as to their origin (you can't often tell breast meat from thighs, etc.).

You did your best, and thanks to her husband you knew it wasn't life threatening. You did fine.

NyaChan:
Your friend was incredibly rude.  Reading your menu made me wish I had been at your party

Teenyweeny:
She was picky. Especially with the steak. I mean, jeez, everybody has a preferred level of 'doneness', but most people will happily eat a steak that's slightly more cooked than their optimal steak.

What was wrong with the pesto salad or beans? I mean, if nothing else, she could have filled up on cake or pie. Not the most healthy meal, but it would have sufficed.

As long as you have a decent range, and you have at least a couple of dishes that are free of well-known disliked foods, (e.g. a lot of people hate mayo, so it's nice to have a couple of mayo-free sides), and you have taken any restrictions into account, then you are fine. And that sounds exactly like what you did.

Sometimes, at a party, there will be *one* dish I can eat, because I don't eat meat and I don't much care for mayo. I really don't mind sitting there eating only one thing. It's not like it's intentional, or like it happens all the time. Sometimes you don't get a really nice dinner, and you have to make do. Grown ups don't pout about it.

O'Dell:
Even if she is truly allergic/sensitive to vinegar there was plenty there for her to eat, she just didn't like it.

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