Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Please RSVP...please please please

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etiquetteE:
BG:  I am hosting a baby shower for a friend at the beginning of June.  17 people have been invited and RSVP was requested. Lunch will be provided at my home (and that was clear on the invite), so planning to have food/favors/activities based on number of positive RSPV's.  Invitations went out early last week (via US mail) and we have gotten 4 RSVP's so far.  I'm anticipating that we will not get all RSVP's before the shower.  My question is: 

Should I proactively call and/or e-mail those people who have not yet RSVP'd to find out if they are coming?  And if so, how far in advance of the party is it acceptable to do so? If I do call, any suggestions for wording?

If guests show up who have not RSVP'd, suggestions on how to handle? 

Shoo:
17 invitations is a pretty manageable number.  Once your RSVP date has passed, call those who did not RSVP and inquire as to whether or not they will be attending.  If they can't give you a definitive answer, simply tell them, "Since we need to know right now if you are coming, I'm afraid we are going to have to put you down as a no.  So sorry we will miss you."

If they show up anyway, there's not much you can do.  Have a little extra food on hand just in case.

NyaChan:
If you didn't put an RSVP date on the invite, I think 2 weeks out is a good time to call, unless you need more time for preparation.

WillyNilly:
Of course you can call people who don't RSVP... but not yet.  Wait until 9-14 days until the party.  I know you are in a  mindset of planning and organizing, etc, but remember its still April and you are talking about a June party.  I would say May 19 is the absolute earliest you can start making "so are you coming?" calls if its a June 2 or 3 party, May 26 for June 9 or 10.

lowspark:
It seems like the invitations went out a tad early, usually about three weeks is time enough for this kind of event. Probably most of the replies will trickle in as people firm up their plans over the next month.

In any case, I'm assuming you didn't put a reply-by date in the invitation? In that case, I'd agree that about 10 days before the event you could call those who did not reply with a reminder about the party and to confirm that they are attending.

I would not say anything about putting them as a "no" if they can't decide. A shower is a party for the benefit of the guest of honor and if someone decides at the last minute that they'd like to show up with a gift, they should be welcome with open arms.

If you're anxious to plan, then go ahead and assume all 17 will attend and plan accordingly. Probably the menu wouldn't be much different if you were going to serve 10 or 20, just the quantities. And you really don't need firm quantities till you're ready to buy the food, within a few days of the party. It's always a good idea to plan for more than are coming anyway, as you never know who might show up at the last minute or how much any individual might eat.

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