Hugs. Do you hug?

[Namárië]

I love love love hugs. And cuddling. I'm just picky.

Really, though, I just don't like touching/being touched by people I don't know. I have offered hugs to strangers in distress, which has sometimes been accepted. I've been told I am a very good hugger, so I like to think it makes other people feel better.

I come from a family of huggers. There is no escaping the hugs from my mom, but she says her hugs are beneficial for one's health. She gives kisses, too, when she likes someone a lot. So far my SO has received my teasing about being a mom-kisser with grace.

[Nikko-chan]

I like hugging, and can receive hugs from most people. Friends and family mostly, though if I am out say, swing dancing, and a guy or gal wants to thank me for a dance with a hug instead of a handshake, I'm cool with it.

With someone I have just met, I do not initiate hugs, though I will take them. An example of this was yesterday when we held an event, and when one of the guests went to leave she gave me a quick side hug. *shrug* I guess I am just a huggy person.

[Carotte]

I wouldn't say Europe is much of a hugging place, not once you leave the close family or close friends circle.

I've been told I was quite a cuddly child with my parents, but for some reason now I just can't stand them touching me (at all, kisses, hugs or just being too close). Even friends or acquaintances would feel less weird..
But I do crave physical contact with SO.

[Cami]

I like hugs! I assume everyone likes hugs! I respect boundaries, or if someone backs up or sticks out their hand for a shake instead of a hug. But on those instances there is a voice in the back of my head saying ” that's weird that they don't like hugs”

Why would you assume that your preferences are universal?

[magicdomino]

Not a hugger.   I tolerate it from close friends and relatives because I like them and it seems important to them, but I don't see the point in it myself.

[TootsNYC]

What drives me batty is kissing.  In DH's culture, you kiss everyone when you enter a relative's home.  I am so terribly uncomfortable with it but I do it out of respect.

Me too.

And I'm frustrated because they *don't* hug. (They're European immigrants, so that may explain it, if there is a tendency not to hug in Europe.)

And I grew up with hugging. Not a ton, but enough, and in the important places. Hugs are important to me.

We don't live near my side, so I don't get as many hugs as I  need.

When my mom died, we ran around hugging one another at the house all weekend, the weekend of the funeral. It was really nice. Esp. since my mom really valued hugs.

She once told me that her own mom wasn't a hugger, and wasn't even much of a toucher. Mom said she'd had to train herself to touch us kids lovingly, because her early patterns hadn't involved that.

[hobish]

I like hugs! I assume everyone likes hugs! I respect boundaries, or if someone backs up or sticks out their hand for a shake instead of a hug. But on those instances there is a voice in the back of my head saying ” that's weird that they don't like hugs”

I really take exception to your voice-in-the-head that "it's weird".  I am not a hugger, but I understand that some folks are, and I don't call it weird.

But you could, in the voice in your own head if you wanted to, and still be perfectly polite - etiquette is not concerned with what you (or your voices ) think or feel, but how you act. So much of etiquette is based on acting correctly when in your head you're in a quandary, or out of your element, or just plain think something is weird.

[Snooks]

What drives me batty is kissing.  In DH's culture, you kiss everyone when you enter a relative's home.  I am so terribly uncomfortable with it but I do it out of respect.

Try experiencing it in a business setting!  My boss thought it was hilarious when a very senior person in the company we were meeting swept in for a kiss when he met me and another colleague in passing (he'd already met my boss so she was expecting it), she still brings it up if someone comes in to the office who hasn't heard the story.

[CakeBeret]

I like hugging those I'm very close to (DH, my son, my best friend) and I don't mind hugging those I'm close-ish to (my parents, extended family, etc.) I don't tend to initiate hugs outside my husband, son, and parents.

I despise social kisses. I kiss my husband and son. I do not kiss my parents, friends, or relatives. My grandmother sometimes demands a kiss (when she's not giving me the cut direct) and I kiss her cheek, at which point she complains about me not kissing her on the lips. Which I refuse to do.

My son is 2 and is a lot like me in this respect. He hugs and kisses his favorite people. When he's active he doesn't have time for it, but when things are quieter (like bedtime) he wants dozens of hugs and kisses. He does not want to hug anyone he's not very close with, and I ask people to respect that. People think they should be allowed to force hugs from him, or guilt trip him for hugs ("auntie's going to be sooo saaaad and cry if you don't give her a hug!"), and I do not allow that.

I personally think kids need hugs and loving contact, and it makes me a little sad to envision a parent who won't hug their child. But I won't judge anyone for that choice and I would not say anything to them about it. 

[fountainof]

But you could, in the voice in your own head if you wanted to, and still be perfectly polite - etiquette is not concerned with what you (or your voices ) think or feel, but how you act. So much of etiquette is based on acting correctly when in your head you're in a quandary, or out of your element, or just plain think something is weird.

I will say that many people do a poor job of thinking something in their heads and not expressing it in a nonverbal way.  If one is put off by something or thinks it is weird their body language usually says what their mouth isn't saying.  We say more nonverbal than verbal so to be polite one needs to be conscious that their body may be saying what their head is thinking.  Therefore, it helps to moderate your thoughts so they don't appear in your actions.

[kareng57]

I like hugs! I assume everyone likes hugs! I respect boundaries, or if someone backs up or sticks out their hand for a shake instead of a hug. But on those instances there is a voice in the back of my head saying ” that's weird that they don't like hugs”

I really take exception to your voice-in-the-head that "it's weird".  I am not a hugger, but I understand that some folks are, and I don't call it weird.

But you could, in the voice in your own head if you wanted to, and still be perfectly polite - etiquette is not concerned with what you (or your voices ) think or feel, but how you act. So much of etiquette is based on acting correctly when in your head you're in a quandary, or out of your element, or just plain think something is weird.

I'm referring to the assertion that the PP made here, not what she might say/how she might act with reluctant-huggers.