Dear Deity!! Let's count the etiquette violations!!

[Auntie Mame]

This is too good, I simply can not resist adding my own little commentary.
Found on a dating site tonight:

About Me:

Here's what I think,

Nice guys finish last. The dating scene blows. Everyone complains about "Guys are cheaters" "Girls are cheaters" People are cheaters, that turn others into cheaters and it's all a vicious cycle. It's called immaturity. If you loved someone you wouldnt want anyone else, and if you want someone else you don't love the one you're with. Quit being a dramatic teeny-bopper and dump them already.   Or you could put on your grown up words and communicate to your partner what you want, the way my BF and I do.

Maybe the reason you're unlucky in love, ladies, stems from the fact that you say you want a good, honest guy, yet when it all boils down you go home with the ***hole thats laughing with his friends pointing at you sayin "I'll bet you a drink I can bang that chick tonight!"  Ah yes, the "Nice Guy" (tm) syndrome.  Or maybe we get sick of tired of guys who whine and complain about how women don't like "nice guys" (tm).  When really those "nice guys" (tm) are manipulative spineless wimps who make you guess constantly about what they really want.  At least we know where we stand with jerks

Or it could have something to do with the large majority of you that marry someone in the service, then a year later, hate his guts, but continue to stay in the marraige because you want that easy money - but while your husband is risking his life to protect our country, you're getting drunk at some dive and taking home random guys. That's pretty awesome. PSST, don't look now, but women serve in the military too. GASP! And I have to say, bravo dude.  You actually went out and surveyed every single military wife?  That is some dedication!

Maybe you cant find a date because you cant get over your bitterness for the things that have happened to you in the past and it's left you with so many issues that even a psychologist wouldn't date you, because everything out of your mouth is completely negative and emo.  Yo! Kettle! Pot'ss on the phone, he keeps ranting about you being black or something.

Or of course, maybe you're just in it for the ego-boost of tons of random hookups. I know a small handful of girls off here that hook up with TONS of guys from the internet (my.space, craigs.list, pof, whatever). The sad part is, at least I have a little respect for you - you're honest enough to not be telling these guys you wanna marry them. I hope.
The only thing wrong with this picture is how your profiles always seem to say "I'm a good, sweet girl" "Dont message me for s3x im not like that" etc. etc. lol sure thing, princess!  The double standard, it burns.

Or maybe you're incredibly stuck up because you spent your entire paycheck on club outfits, tanning, and make up. Then some bearded A-hole with a camera set up in his living room told you he was a photographer, took a couple dirty pictures, and now you think you have a professional modeling career - then wonder why professional footy players arent knocking your door down and proposing. I can't do snarky comments about gibberish so I'll just say "Fhlargen Yomerwantz Boonterhops"

On a seperate note, whatever happened to going to college, earning a degree, and building a career of your own? Much respect to anyone that has.  Who are these women you speak of? 

On a seperate note, most girls are so quick to say things like "Pron is DISGUSTING, those girls are total W40RES". How many guys with bad hygeine, drug problems, lying habits, no money, quick tempers, major heaping pile of rancid Twinkie Doo fashion sense, etc. etc. have you hooked up with that just messed up your head and generally made your life a living hell?
And how much did you profit from this? At least pron is a profitable business where they SCREEN FOR STDS FIRST. You would have been better off in a movie. Again with this most and majority.  I don’t remember being interviewed by this guy, anyone else?  Was I out at a dance club spurning nice guys the night of the survey?

Trust me, you dont want an honest guy. Honest guys don't have the "look" you're attracted to, and we won't treat you like sh*t and lie to you.  Most times when I hear this line from guys, they are immensely shallow when it comes to a woman's appearance.  Just sayin.
My profile is 100% genuinely honest. Did you enjoy it? Didn't think so, cause it's not what you really want to hear   Except for all the made up stats and

I'm sitting back, laughing at the dating scene as a whole, from the comfort of a chair, in a t-shirt and jeans, because after all, that's a lot easier than actually going out and INTERACTING with people right?

lol.

PS - FFS ladies, get a sense of humor. There's nothing worse than a frigid chick who takes everything too seriously and acts like she's too good to laugh.  Because smart, intelligent women really like being called "chicks"


Oh yea, no orange white girls with platinum hair. Srsly. Get a life.




I think/hope he posted this tongue in cheek.... but the PS makes me wonder what he really thinks of women? How on earth are us "nice" girls ever supposed to meet anyone???

And more to the point.. is it incredibly rude and boorish to point out his rudeness and boorishness?

[Corvid]

Abridged and translated:

Here's what I think.  I think I'll sulk and pout because the hot chicks I'd like to go to bed with don't want me.  Even if I pretend I'm interested in them as a person and not just as a piece of tail and let them cry on my shoulder about how their boyfriends are cheating on them, they end up hopping into someone else's sack instead of mine.  I ask you, is that fair?

The few women I did manage to maneuver into bed didn't, for some unfathomable reason which could not possibly have anything to do with me, stick around, the cheating lying <term for sex workers>.  In fact, all you women having sex with other guys and not me are equivalent to <term for sex workers> so why not just make a porno and be done with it?  (See how funny and clever I was with that insult?  I kill me.) 

But I'm not bitter!  No, I'M NOT BITTER!  AND IF YOU THINK I'M BITTER THEN YOU JUST HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR!  Ha!  I laugh at all of you!

But if any girl who reads this wants to contact me and give me some hope of having sex, I really go for tanned bleached blondes.  (fingers crossed)

[workingmum]

Abridged and translated:

Here's what I think.  I think I'll sulk and pout because the hot chicks I'd like to go to bed with don't want me.  Even if I pretend I'm interested in them as a person and not just as a piece of tail and let them cry on my shoulder about how their boyfriends are cheating on them, they end up hopping into someone else's sack instead of mine.  I ask you, is that fair?

The few women I did manage to maneuver into bed didn't, for some unfathomable reason which could not possibly have anything to do with me, stick around, the cheating lying <term for sex workers>.  In fact, all you women having sex with other guys and not me are equivalent to <term for sex workers> so why not just make a porno and be done with it?  (See how funny and clever I was with that insult?  I kill me.) 

But I'm not bitter!  No, I'M NOT BITTER!  AND IF YOU THINK I'M BITTER THEN YOU JUST HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR!  Ha!  I laugh at all of you!

But if any girl who reads this wants to contact me and give me some hope of having sex, I really go for tanned bleached blondes.  (fingers crossed)

Where's the "like" button? 

[Frostblooded]

This is a common joke that has been passed around the 'net for several years so some fellows can get their kicks and a few "laffs."

[Corvid]

Eh, whether Truth or Troll, it's says much about the paltry buffoon that posted it.

Not to mention that I have heard those same sentiments expressed, with all earnestness, in real life as well as online.

[Lorelei_Evil]

High 5 to Corvid.  Nice, concise translation.

 

I don't remember being interviewed for this fascinating sociological epic, either, funnily enough.

[Winterlight]

Hey, he's warned you upfront that he's ten pounds of jerk in a five pound sack. Count your blessings!

Pod x 100. And I hope you don't mind if I borrow steal the bolded.

Help yourself!

[Diane AKA Traska]

Pronoun trouble.

/threadjack

"Aha!  Pronoun trouble!  It's not he doesn't have to shoot you now, it's he doesn't have to shoot me now.  Well, I say he does too have to shoot me now!  So shoot me now!!"

/end threadjack

[Lorelei_Evil]

Isn't a classical education a wonderful thing?

[Firecat]

Pronoun trouble.

/threadjack

"Aha!  Pronoun trouble!  It's not he doesn't have to shoot you now, it's he doesn't have to shoot me now.  Well, I say he does too have to shoot me now!  So shoot me now!!"

/end threadjack

BLAM!!!!

[Piratelvr1121]

IME the guys who are quick to point out that they are "nice guys" almost never are.  the ones who are actually nice guys dont point it out.

So much this, just like the guys who go around bragging about how good they are in the sack usually aren't. 

[JennJenn68]

Pronoun trouble.

/threadjack

"Aha!  Pronoun trouble!  It's not he doesn't have to shoot you now, it's he doesn't have to shoot me now.  Well, I say he does too have to shoot me now!  So shoot me now!!"

/end threadjack

BLAM!!!!

"You're... DESPICABLE!"

(And I'm glad that I'm not the only one who is terminally in love with this particular series of cartoons...)

[hyzenthlay]

I knew a "nice guy" on another forum many years back.

He was (he said) overweight, and his posts indicated he was very intelligent but also pretty sarcastic and biting.  And he would go out to clubs to try to meet women, and then bemoan the fact that in a loud noisy crowded club they didn't want to get to know him for his wonderful personality.

We tried, oh how we tried, to express to him that being overweight and sarcastic as he was, that the superficial setting of a club was perhaps not the ideal place for him to meet a soul-mate. No, it was just that so many women were so broken they just wouldn't take time to see how wonderful and nice a guy he was, even after he bought drinks.

I used to wonder if he was a troll he fit the 'nice guy' stereotype so well . . .

[nyarlathotep]

Wow! This clearly calls for submission to http://ohdearcupid.tumblr.com/ (Not work safe)

[LadyL]

I know a mostly reformed Nice Guy ^TM (who finally met an honest to goodness nice girl and is in a serious relationship, after spending his entire adult life never having a "real" girlfriend). The best line I heard from him was that "flirting was dishonest" and that any men who were in a physical relationship before marriage had "tainted" themselves - he wasn't even a religious person or actually against premarital scrabble, that was just his justification for why he hadn't played scrabble himself by the age that most guys had. At one point he ended up dating a stripper and borderline paying her for scrabble (lines get blurry in those situations) so there was major, major guilt, shame and moral hypocrisy motivating those views - not to mention low self esteem, fear of rejection, and lack of social skills. A lot of it came from his father being a really bad role model for all of that stuff.

/end anecdata