Thank You for Coming... Now LEAVE!

[PennyandPleased]

Okay so I may sound awful for this but I do need help!

We may host an upcoming holiday. We would like to do a breakfast because we want to be able to start a tradition and do something that afternoon.

We are expecting about 25 people. I would like the breakfast to go from about 9:30 - 12:30ish. No one travels far for our families I promise for us 9:30 is not as awful as it sounds.

The issue is - as I have seen first hand - that people come and stay allllllllllllllllllllllll day. For example: My Mom tried to host a Christmas breakfast about 10 years ago. People came in at 10:00 (the start time) and ended up staying till 5:30ish. My Mom had also hoped that people would leave around 1:00 but it didn't happen. She is a push over and would not ask people to leave so her plan to do a breakfast and then relax the rest of the day didn't happen. She had told everyone she wanted to do breakfast from 10:00 - 1:00 so they knew ahead of time. She now hosts from 3:00 on and the early night fall is what seems to "drive" people to leave around 7:00. (But if she does a summer BBQ or whatever people stay all darn day. Which I do feel is her fault to a degree.)

So if I want to host a breakfast, how do I say: "Come, enjoy, eat, celebrate. But don't stay all day."

We usually just do email to send out holiday details. (We are fairly informal). I don't want to sound like jerk but I want to be able to start the tradition and do what we are hoping to do that afternoon.

ETA - my title to this post sounds harsh - I promise I'm not planning to shove people out my door at 12:30 in the dot. 

[guihong]

If you're doing written invitations (recommended), put 9:30-12:30, or even 11:30, if you want a chance to "cool down" before you have to go to something else.  ETA: works for Email too, as long as everyone actually checks their Email.

On party day, you and your DH subtly start cleaning up, picking up trash, putting things up.  If that doesn't work, there's nothing piggish in my opinion in saying, "Gee, we are so glad everyone came, but we have something going on this afternoon.  We'll have to get together real soon!"   Given it is a holiday, the other guests might be busy, too.

[GlassHalfFull]

So if I want to host a breakfast, how do I say: "Come, enjoy, eat, celebrate. But don't stay all day."

"For your planning purposes, this soiree event will end around 12:30pm or so."

Make it about them.  If anyone asks and/or lingers, then tell them you have other plans for the afternoon.

Edit:  Haha, scratch soiree, which is exactly what you DON'T want this to be. 

[CakeBeret]

When you send the invitation, specifically put 9:30-12:00. At the party, at 12:00, start gathering guests' jackets. Lead guests to the front door, say "Thank you for coming!" and give them a hug (if you're a hugger).

If you have one or two scragglers who won't leave, say "Aunt Mary, thanks so much for coming. We have an appointment this afternoon so we need to leave, but we look forward to seeing you at Christmas!"

[PennyandPleased]

So if I were to put something like:

ALL:
Please join us for a Christmas breakfast at Penny's House at 123 Main Stree, Smalltown, USA. We will be serving all the regular breakfast choices.

Breakfast starts at 9:30 and  "For your planning purposes, this event will end around 12:30pm or so."

Is that how it would be worded correctly? (I'd clean it up a bit obviously.)

[JenJay]

If you're issuing invitations via email I'd say something like "We'd like to invite you to breakfast/brunch at our house between the hours of 9:30 and 12:30. We won't be able to host any later than that, as we've got plans at 1pm. Hope to see you!" I wouldn't say "or so" because one person's "give or take 10 minutes" is another's "give or take an hour".

Then, as guihong said, start cleaning up at 12:15 and making a lot of "This was really fun! We'll have to do it again soon." type statements.

[GlassHalfFull]

If you're issuing invitations via email I'd say something like "We'd like to invite you to breakfast/brunch at our house between the hours of 9:30 and 12:30. We won't be able to host any later than that, as we've got plans at 1pm. Hope to see you!" I wouldn't say "or so" because one person's "give or take 10 minutes" is another's "give or take an hour".

Then, as guihong said, start cleaning up at 12:15 and making a lot of "This was really fun! We'll have to do it again soon." type statements.

Yeah, you're right, my "come at around 4:30pm or so" once had my in-laws land on my doorstep at 10am!

[EmmaJ.]

Perhaps you could enlist the help of one of your relatives?  That person could stand up around the departure time and say (loudly) "What a great time we all had!  Thank you for having us for breakfast!"  And make a production of leaving, gathering coats and purses, and hopefully herding the others towards the door.

[Semiramis]

OP, is there anyone you could ask to be your ally, who could be really conspicuous about getting up and leaving at the designated time, so as to remind everyone else that it is time to get out now?

ETA: Oops, EmmaJ. had the same idea at the same time 

[BeagleMommy]

I agree with PP who've said to start cleaning up and putting away the food around 12:00.  A cheery "This was so much fun (notice I used was).  We'll have to do it again.".  That's usually enough of a hint to get the slowpokes out.

If anyone straggles, bring them their coat and say "It was great seeing you.  I'm sorry we have to end our visit, but DH and I have an appointment.".

[kudeebee]

So if I were to put something like:

ALL:
Please join us for a Christmas breakfast at Penny's House at 123 Main Stree, Smalltown, USA. We will be serving all the regular breakfast choices.

The breakfast get-together starts at 9:30 and  "For your planning purposes, this event will end around 12:30pm or so will be from 9:30 a.m. to noon."

Is that how it would be worded correctly? (I'd clean it up a bit obviously.)

My changes in red.  I would end it 1/2 hour before you want to so that gives you time to get people up from their chairs and on the way.

Give a specific time to end or you will have someone show up at 12:25!  "But you said "or so" so we aren't late."

Agree with the others to start cleaning up trash, put dishes in the dishwasher, etc about 11:45ish.  That is a subtle clue that the event is over.  whilw you are doing the cleaning, talk about how fun the morning was.  Don't sit down again, stay standing.  If it is really cold out "Aunt Martha, give me your keys and I will start you car so it will be warm when you leave." "Does anyone need help gathering their belongings?"  "Who would like some coffeecake to take with them?"  Bring their coats and such into the kitchen/family room/whereever--"just helping get everyone's things together for the ride home."

[Thipu1]

This is somewhat tongue-in-cheek but we had an acquaintance who had a fool-proof way of getting rid of visitors with no sense of time.  When people stayed beyond their welcome, he'd just crank up the original Broadway cast recording of 'Sweeney Todd'.  That worked like a charm every time. 

My Grandmother also had non-subtle ways of getting rid of people who stayed too long.  She'd just get their coats and, with a sweet smile, say, 'Here's your hat.  What's your hurry?'

Okay, that wouldn't be E-HELL approved but Grandma had five children and one salary during the Depression.  She was constantly imposed upon by marginal relatives and neighbors.  Difficult times sometimes require harsh measures. 

[ettiquit]

I like the idea of including in the invitation that you have another appt. later in the day.

[Sophia]

To some extent I think it depends on what hoilday it is.  Is it a holiday like Thanksgiving where it is common to hang out all day? 

[BeagleMommy]

This is somewhat tongue-in-cheek but we had an acquaintance who had a fool-proof way of getting rid of visitors with no sense of time.  When people stayed beyond their welcome, he'd just crank up the original Broadway cast recording of 'Sweeney Todd'.  That worked like a charm every time. 

My Grandmother also had non-subtle ways of getting rid of people who stayed too long.  She'd just get their coats and, with a sweet smile, say, 'Here's your hat.  What's your hurry?'

Okay, that wouldn't be E-HELL approved but Grandma had five children and one salary during the Depression.  She was constantly imposed upon by marginal relatives and neighbors.  Difficult times sometimes require harsh measures.

I love it!  However, I'd probably start a sing-a-long.  It's one of my favorite musicals!